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- Fabricio25
Man... dealing with depression absolutely f...g sucks.
At 38, I expected to be having some future plans issues, thinking about buying a place, moving to a different country, meeting a new boyfriend, etc.
But instead, I have to keep changing medication and seeing which ones worked and which one didnt, talking constantly with psychologist and realising it is not helping me much either. And I dont even feel like talking to friends about this anymore, as I got tired of hearing myself talking about this (and quite embarassed to be honest...as it feels thatI dont have my shit together, which at the moment, it is true)...Going outside is also a struggle, a constant battle to continue doing the things I used to do, or enjoy, like playing videogames, etc. I dont even feel like drawing or doing any personal artwork anymore, as it is hard enough to find energy to do the commercial projects.
I wish I could just go back to my normal self from 2 years, snap my fingers and suddenly, not having to rely on medication to sleep or to stop myself from feeling miserable. Go back to my drawings and 3D experiments, finish my shortfilm, etc...
Does it really "get better" or was this just some sweet internet cute moment? Hehe..
Sorry for the long rant.
- Sucks, hang in there man, them meds are sometimes as bad if not worse than the condition they are treating (have been on many over the years),dee-dubs
- but hopefully you may find one that works better! Anyway, you ain't alone and I'm sure many QBNer's been though or going through similar that can empathise.dee-dubs
- as someone that goes through similar shit. let it pass, that's what i learned. meds can be a bummer, it took me several years to get it right. be strong man!renderedred
- and yes, some meds make it worse, take care.renderedred
- take care brother.pango
- This will pass, mate... don't force yourself to be-creating-superb-a... From my experience, this creates a LOT of anxietyOBBTKN
- Especially when you're on a burnout phase. Take a break, get out, take care of meds and alcohol, and like renderedred said, be strong!!OBBTKN
- ^ "creating superb art all the days"OBBTKN
- Focus on self development, everything is gonna be fine, give it some time, it's not gonna happen overnight. Hang on.ApeRobot
- And talk about it with someone confident with you... therapists are not the best listeners sometimes...OBBTKN
- Sorry to hear you going through it, but you'll find a way. I find this guy has helped me so much recently: https://www.youtube.…Ianbolton
- you can do big things in small steps. focus on getting the easy, tiny things done... you'll start feeling better.robthelad
- my mum's been trough it and it has been the worst episode in both our lives so far. It does go away some time, it really does!mekk
- You're already doing the hardest / most productive thing you can do - talking about it with friends and a professional. Lots of people don't get that far.Fax_Benson
- stick with that. The drugs I guess may or may not work but talking will, long term.Fax_Benson
- Hey Fabricio, I was there last year (minus the meds), you will turn it around, just keep your spirit up including with others (avoid self-pity at all costs)spl33nidoru
- make short term plans (less crushing) and reasonable daily goals/lists, be kind with yourself, you'll come out of this strongerspl33nidoru
- Health is wealth brother; hang in their!
Keep moving, eat well and take care of #1.
: )ideaist - I'm surrounded by it brother. Family, friends, colleagues even my wife suffered post natal depression. It'll get better dude, stay strong. Exercise and water.Hayzilla
- Fabricio, are you also trying natural alternatives? My combination is CBD, deep breathing techniques, sweat lodge therapy, vitamin D3, massage, among others.sea_sea
- I guess what I'm saying is you have to find a way to do more self care. Do the work drag yourself to the gym whatever will work for you.sea_sea
- Something that will help spark up that joy. Produce more serotonin etc. I know how difficult it is, trust me. Here for you.sea_sea
- What aperobot said, self development is key. Take control. You got this.sea_sea
- Sea_sea +1
It goes away but it takes a while. psychologists and medications don't allow it vanish they just sweep it under the rug. Do the natural methods...Beeswax - Your work is dope by the way. Dont plan the future much.none of my dreams become true but I can't be more thankful for the moment that I'm living and breathing.Beeswax
- Sorry guys and girls, didnt want to sound so alarming :( Yeah, this frigging sucks...and I feel like I am not heading to a proper direction, hence me venting ouFabricio
- And to see if someone has experienced similar things. It is brilliant so many of your responses and support. I cannot thank you guys enough!Fabricio
- The thing about this not happening overnight I guess is part of the problem... I really, just want to go back to normal, and it feels like I have no control..Fabricio
- ...about this. But I am extremely thankful for everything you have written so far, I will take it to my heart, really <3Fabricio
- vent all the way down man, we're here to listen (:mekk
- Yeah, I've been trying some natural stuff, specially for sleeping... sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesnt. I also started with meditationFabricio
- What SeaSea said, are you trying natural remedies. CBD worked wonders for me. wish id known about it years ago!microkorg
- Keep going... And always remember today will tomorrow soon. Find the small wins, don't overwhelm yourself with trying to do it allnecromation
- All the best! Never give up. Try not to think about it all the time. Your thoughts are going in circles. Distract yourself as much as you can.SimonFFM
- Hope you're ok man - I've been up and down a lot lately too. Try keep in touch with friends as much as possible, talk to them. Try exercise as much as you can.pedromendez
- A new hobby away form work might help too - that shifted my focus and gave me something new to obsess about. Best of luck dude.pedromendez
- Man, try to sleep, take time for you. cut social media for a while, even screen time. Hang in there!Salarrue
- Try probiotics + Vitamin B complexdrgs
- As important as emotions are, remember feelings aren't facts. Ur friends are there for you and care about u, if u feel like a burden, remember u are not = fact!whatthefunk
- I'm sorry to hear Fabricio...stay strong bro!!!utopian
- Fabrico, one thing that always cheers me up is posting things on the Trump thread to piss off mono, then he comments to act like he's really smart. Try that!robotron3k
- https://wjfranklin.c…dbloc
- https://newatlas.com…zaq
- seriously @robo there's a time and a place to be a troll.renderedred
- Dont know what I could say to help.. but keep on fighting. I can tell you moving into a new career helped me a ton. Maybe try labour work, something different.eryx
- Good luck Fabricio. I have you covered by 15 years and I still have no fucking clue about my future. You're young!BusterBoy
- You guys are awesome, thank you so much. I will look into all these links and the advices. Thank you :)Fabricio
- Fabricio, stay strong! You can go through this. As mentioned by @Fax above, the fact you're talking about this & have the courage to share w/ others, is huge!Krassy
- Remember always that you are capable and strong enough to re-program yourself and change both your feelings and your thoughts. You're powerful!Krassy
- I hear you man! I'm quite a bit older than you, and I'm on 3 psyche meds every day. But they've helped me a lot, and I'm much better than I was 2 years ago.boobs
- Take good care of your microbiome! That might require changing your diet and exercising more. Try meditation and the Wim Hof cold showers & breathing exercises.Krassy
- Try new hobbies. Don't avoid people. Stay away from meds. Go to techno raves. Go hiking. Swim. Run. Play backgammon with strangers in the park....Krassy
- Do continue to talk to us on here. This QBN community is absolutely incredible and has proven time & again to be supportive and to be beating a big big heart :)Krassy
- Krassy, this is so heartwarming, thank you so much. I've been trying new hobbies, and they do help, even if it is a tiny bit.Fabricio
- I've been learning how to play guitar, and also to produce sounds and synths inside ableton... getting a bit into music production, which is completely outFabricio
- of my comfort zone. Going through different paths, etc.. I feel this does help me a bit, But yeah, I hope I can shake this off eventually...Fabricio
- I hear you Fabricio, i'm also in a bad period right now, having anxiety crisis and shit. So much things going on in my head for a long time.Bennn
- It's exactly that fabricio, one step, one good feeling thought at a time. After a while the minutes become hours and days. It's not far, trust your instincts.sea_sea
- Self care for me is key. We put so much pressure on ourselves. Give yourself a break and find fun stuff to do.sea_sea
- welcome to the mid-life crisis! and no, nothing works to help it (well having 2 young kids lessens it for me).pr2
- @Krassy: you rock.
@Fab: you rock too! keep the process going.uan - Think of things you're grateful for. Get back to creating the awesome stuff you share with us in Recent Work. Watch Adam West Batman.CyBrainX
- read this https://en.wikipedia…srhadden
- I would recommend seeing an actual licensed therapist.pango
- I went through the exact same thing for a few years. Krassy is right re: the gut/mind connection. Pre + probiotics, exercise and time help. Hugs too. xMelanie
- Hayoth2
Fabricio, what were you doing two years ago? Are there processes or routines from that time period you could put in place?
Have you considered joining a group, like a gym workout session, sports, art class, etc?
The biggest hurdle for you to overcome is the mindset, if you can start small eventually you'll be motivated to keep pushing.
- Hey Hayoth, I dont wanna dig too much into this.. but more or less two years ago, I went through a breakup, and well, ever since, my life has been this weird..Fabricio
- And I've done everything you mentioned. I still go to the gym, etc, but Im not sure how I can explain this, it is not a mindset you know? I wish it was :)Fabricio
- Life would be much simpler! :)
But I cant sleep... I wake up every day at 3-4 am, fully awake, but drained. I also dont enjoy things anymore that I used to.Fabricio - My parents say the same thing to me, about changing my mind and deciding I want to be better, but believe me, there is nothing more in the world I wish rightnowFabricio
- I understand Fab. Congrats on making progress with the gym. I understand the mindset issue, those on the outsideike myself think you can overcome...Hayoth
- But realize it's a deeper issue but just realize it takes a lot of work and we all have issues to deal with. Ty for speaking out and you will overcome.Hayoth
- My friend started project 1 in 4 on Instagram, check it out.Hayoth
- ApeRobot3
- Wow. Love.robotron3k
- <3Fabricio
- this********
- u don´t know 100% know whats coming.. thats the happines aka mystery of life.neverscared
- dumb of the dayutopian
- BlockKhurram
- DIN?Krassy
- Bennn-1
Just saw a guy crossing the street looking only on his right (nice move man..) and a Volvo arriving at around 50Kmh had to violently steer to avoid hitting him, he litteraly touch him with his car, at 32 mph. Fuck that. Look on both side idiot!
- But did the man have the right of way?monospaced
- Jeremiah 6:16deadsperm
- yeah, shitty cars https://www.youtube.…ApeRobot
- @mono No he crossed in the middle of nowhere, between parked cars... not at an intersectionBennn
- It’s a Volvo though, shouldn’t it have stopped on it’s own, ushered him across the street and then baked him a pizza?ben_
- PonyBoy-3
***MINOR SPOILER ALERT — Don't read if you don't want to know anything about "The Irishman" on Netflix***
I'm 3/4 the way done watching the film and I have to say that it feels really forced in terms of wanting us to believe the characters as youthful in the scenes that take place decades in the past. The youthful faces are younger 'looking' but feel damn awkward as they're paired w/the current aged actors movement / speed / agility... even their facial muscles have 'lessened' (if that makes sense) making the youthful faces appear slow / lethargic in terms of how quickly you'd expect a youthful face to react.
There are certain scenes where Dinero is supposed to be in maybe his 30's / 40's... his face sooorta looks right (but his nose is way too big for that age) and again—his movements look ridiculously sluggish / slow / OLD given the age he's supposed to be.
Even though I appreciate the attempt at using the latest in CGI... I don't think it was worth trying to use the same actors to cover decades of their character... at least not w/the slothy old bunch of actors used in this film. :)
It's possible (if done right / w/the right talent) to use a younger actor to portray the older version (I instantly think of the movie 'Looper' w/Joseph Gordon Levitt & Bruce Willis). OR - use a younger actor and map the older actor's face (youthfully) over a more physically agile actor's face that has the appropriate physical movement to someone that age.
- *De NiroPonyBoy
- 3/4? finish it already!pango
- Saw it at the cinema/theatre 2 weeks ago.
I had to see it on the big screen.
I forgot about the CGI 10mins in.
A lot of my friends are saying the same aboutfadein11 - watching on TV. I was aware of how they moved, bulk, etc. but I got lost in the story.
Perhaps that is harder on small screen.
I will watch again.fadein11 - Personally I would have cast v.good younger actors and made the most of them at their current time in life.fadein11
- I loved how Pesci stole the show though, he was always playing second fiddle to De Niro but he was superb in it I thought. De Niro's gurns and frowns get worsefadein11
- as he ages and frankly I struggle to take him seriously after the Fockers etc which is sad. But I just love that period in history and it did that great Ifadein11
- thought. The last hour of 3.5 hours could've been the most difficult but it was v.moving and a swan song for them all really. Was hard to feel sorry for him atfadein11
- the end though but strangely did. I think I may have been overtired as I cried a bit. Lol.fadein11
- K...finished. ha! I teared up too, fade when his kid rejected him @ the bank. :( I agree too about feeling for them all regardless of how foul they were...PonyBoy
- exactly, as a dad, i imagined that feeling... ugh, nothing worse.fadein11
- ...Scorsese has a way of humanizing the most vicious persons and even provides a path for us to not only let them off the hook but actually feel sorry for them.PonyBoy
- we gotta watch the spoilers herefadein11
- exactly pony, not many directors can do that. especially as he generally shows the horror of what they do as wellfadein11
- The effect you’re describing. I know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s just off and it didn’t have to be.monospaced
- felt the same way about Sam Jackson in Captain Marvel, looked young but when he moved around or ran it was still old ass Sam Jackson lol_niko
- Smith in Gemini man too. Weird young guy video game body. Where is the art and subtlety?monospaced
- ideaist3
Haven't bought anything today other than a meatball sub with a side of potato salad and 2 beer(s).
- Hayzilla0
Isn't it funny what happens to people. The way they change. Bindegal has been on here for 5yrs. Then suddenly decides to piss all over the walls and shit on the stairs. Someone must have pissed him off.
Anyway, I think we are fucked now because we are in a cycle. Everyone keeps downvoting him so he retaliates with more GIF spamming. urghh.
- I think perhaps you're just noticing this now as it's something you've picked up on - afaik, he's been irritating people and getting DV'd for years now.Nairn
- Active for all of those 5 years, or just a dormant dupe account waiting to be used when his main was kicked?i_monk
- Yeah, behaviors seem oddly similar to chukka...sarahfailin
- Nairn0
Just had a package picked up by a burly old-school London cabbie. He verbally skipped a comma so i was a bit taken aback when he responded "Alright lovely". A bit forward, I thought - I've just met him.
- set?utopian
- ha. Set's no Londoner, or particularly burly, but I can imagine him saying "alright lovely" to me...Nairn
- no worse than being called "mate" by someone you've never met before.hans_glib
- I've always thought that, hans. 'Mate' in that context is a word I can't ever bring myself to use other than sarcastically. It's just too gosh-darned Southern.Nairn
- Hayzilla-4
@ Nairn. Looking back just as recently as a month ago he was like a fucking king round here it seems LOL. Then he went full retard.
- Hmmm, I know some of his posts court PopMeme +1s, but I'm sure I recall a metric shit ton of dvs thrown at hoim over time..Nairn
- https://www.youtube.…utopian
- ben_0
What’s worth checking out in NYC tonight?
- hot soup in Ktownmonospaced
- Any particular spot?ben_
- we really enjoyed Five Senses_niko
- there's a japanese curry one that's relatively new ... and spice level is insane!monospaced
- Abiko
https://www.abikocur…monospaced - Nice, will try to get over there to check it out. Thanks guys.ben_
- just because it's freezing cold and snowing out and pretty nast overallmonospaced
- Yeah it was gross out. Ended up going to danji which was close and great and then a trip to decibel, I haven’t been there in maybe 10 years, so great time.ben_
- Nairn0
I've spent all day using '_Nov_' in file and folder namings.
- uan3
have a friend who wrote, draw, inked, scanned and digitally coloured a 64 pages comic novel. really good stuff, did it on his free time in this last two years...
...now he is wondering how to approach distribution of his work, who are the good comic novel houses in europe?- What sort of comic, content-wise?Nairn
- future, apocalyptic, funny, comical, story of a disabled dude, circus, cult elements involved in his journey.uan
- I recommend https://www.drawnand…Salarrue
- mg332
My wife left her set of keys in our car this morning, and since she gets home first to get our car at the train station, I had to drop them off at her office with security in the building's lobby so she could grab them during the day.
I gave security her actual name, but texted my wife that I left them under the name "Bernadette Maplethorpe" and she'd have to give that name to get them. She totally believed me and gave security that name. Still LOL'ing that she was a little flustered and embarrassed to use that name when all she really needed to say was "my husband left a set of keys for me."
- I went to security at a casino when I was younger and asked if they could make a broadcast for my lost friend "Ivor Biggun".BusterBoy
- ^ LOL. This sounds so dumb, but I once pranked my mom at work (she was a receptionist) in a ridiculous accent, askingmg33
- for a ridiculous made up name that sounds like "sufarateen beembo." I spelled it out for her "s-u-p-e-r-t-e-e-n b-i-m-b-o" and she totally pronounced it backmg33
- "Super Teen Bimbo." I was laughing so f'ing hard I had to hang up. I'm glad she's retired now but I miss making her laugh at work.mg33
- Pranked her once with a Mr. Rogers sound board:
http://mg33.com/news…mg33 - She got so flustered. Man I love listening to this. "Can I help you?" "No, you called me."mg33
- I called her later in the day as myself, and she said "I had my first obscene phone call today." Stifling my laughter, I asked "what did they say?"mg33
- She said "They asked if I like to watch people play soccer." I couldn't take it, I died laughing and fessed up.mg33
- Haha nicely done :)pedromendez
- Nairn0
Just had a client send me the entire family of Apercu so I can mock something up for them. As it happens, the designers of Apercu happen to be clients of mine, so I felt compelled to respond and let them know that sharing fonts like that isn't really proper.
Now I'm wondering whether I'm just a tit.
- yup.
tit you most certainly are.hans_glib - You asked for the font, then gave them shit for sending it? I’m not sure if I got that rightGnash
- No, I didn't ask for the font, they just sent it without notice. I happen to have the font installed at my end anyway.Nairn
- My email to them was very friendly - i don't give my clients 'shit' I just thought it worth pointing out to them as my contact didn't realise it's illegitNairn
- Ah, I misunderstood the use of the word, ‘had’ — made it sound like you asked for it.Gnash
- Ah, no - I'm English as a second language, so often muddle things up. I'm also English as a first language, but let's not let that get in the way.Nairn
- LolGnash
- Was likely me as English wasn’t my first languageGnash
- If the client bought the font for their materials then sending it to designers to create mockups is okay. Keeping the font is different but unenforceablemonospaced
- Depends on how many seats you paid for. If it’s a single seat license you cannot ‘lend’ it to anyoneGnash
- It’s for one computer only. Most companies make the (intentional) mistake of not buying a multi-seatGnash
- Gnash is technically right, but there really should be a caveat in the eula around paid for fonts (regardless of seats) being distributable to agency partners.ben_
- Exactly. If a company needs a freelancer to draft some materials, they should be able to loan the font out without having to buy another seat just for them.monospaced
- This wasn't a large corp. This was the sort of company that bought 'a' font and used it as needs be. Which is fine, of course. Just not so much outside of that.Nairn
- Yeah, if the font is being used for creation of assets on behalf of the license holder, then anyone should be able to work with it. Not the way the lawben_
- ...considers it though. I'm no lawyer but it seems simple enough.ben_
- Yeah in this case they "lend" it for you to use it for their materials. If you were using it for your own stuff next, you're in the red, not they.grafician
- But yeah, nice thing to explain to them what's the issue here. Then again, Apercu is already "lend" to half the internets already, but using it is another thinggrafician
- yup.
- Gardener2
I just came across this newspaper clipping from the 70's
concerning my dads old 2nd hand shop, he once told me,
"always remember to get a staff member to hold the bomb"
of course those were the days when folk were allowed to
hold bombs up for the local press.
- mantrakid2
I think im just lazy.
- shut up and make more beatsscruffics
- I find this hard to believe, you made some amazing games, I held you in high esteem :)fadein11
- damn thanks man :) ive been pretty down on myself lately and i feel like me being lazy / 'wanting more than i was working for' might have been the cause.mantrakid
- ^yeah dude, I played Cosmochoria til the end and it was great! maybe you just need a new project to sink your teeth into.sarahfailin
- wait, sarahfailin - like u saw the credits?!? O_Omantrakid