Joke of the Day
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- Gnash2
Erdogan calls on EU for dialogue, says Turkey’s future in Europe
- autoflavour-1
Ignore previous
What’s the difference between a dirty bustop and a lobster with breast implants ?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
- Projectile9
- [Laughs in ultrasound]palimpsest
- I don’t get itscarabin
- The moth betrayed itself with the response to the call.
Bat: Who let the dogs out?
Moth: Who, who, who... Oh shit!palimpsest - https://www.youtube.…rzu-rzu
- autoflavour4
What’s the difference between a dirty bustop and a lobster with breast implants ?
Ones a dirty bus stationing and the other is a busty crustacean
- Lol.. ruined the punchline in a written joke.. fail.. bus stationautoflavour
- Fuck.. crusty bus station..
Totally screwed that poochautoflavour - multifailhans_glib
- LOL!oey_oey
- Damn this was confusing AFnb
- The fail makes it better.stoplying
- lolBluejam
- I'm so confused.wagshaft
- Lol.. so stupid..autoflavour
- http://invisiblecham…scarabin
- please retry this correctly. i love it too much and can't figure out the real jokecapn_ron
- rzu-rzu4
A bus stops, and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," sputters the lady indignantly. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public."
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'ma justa tellun my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
- M-i-crooked letter-crooked letter-i-crooked letter-crooked letter-i-humpback-hu...palimpsest
- I read this in Jar Jar Binks voice. No regrets.DRIFTMONKEY
- scarabin5
Why does Santa have such a big sack?
‘Cause he only comes once a year
- helloeatbreathedrive15
- That's insulting on several levels... quite clever acutually.Longcopylover
- I’m so slow it took me 3 takes yo get it lol_niko
- imbecile11
- lol, took me a secondMaaku
- ^ Ha .. same here.Ramanisky2
- I nearly posted, 'I don't get it.'
Then I did.Continuity - It’s called a ‘set joke’Ramanisky2
- Lol great_niko
- Works best in a shit Irish accentNairn
- Oh neighbor CLINT, use a bigger brush, dude!Krassy
- https://youtu.be/8X_…scarabin
- BusterBoy4
Two Jehovas Witness doing the rounds...knock on the front door of a home. Young man opens the door.
Man: Hi...what's up?
Jehovas Witness: Hi there. We're from the Jehovas Witnesses. I was wondering if you have a few minutes...perhaps we could come in and spread the word and enlighten you about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Man: Sure...I've got some free time. Come on in.
So the 3 of them go inside...and sit in the lounge room.
Man: OK then...now what?
Jehovas Witness: Ummm...well...I'm not really sure. We've never made it this far before.
- My brother is a hyper devout Evangelical Christian and all around nice guy. He actually did this once because he wanted to save them.garbage
- This is exactly what he described. He even asked them to come back any time and they were even more dumbfounded.garbage
- I took their pamphlet once, they kept coming back like clockwork for months...zarkonite
- My brother hung out with them for several weeks until they finally gave up, lol.garbage
- Just say you’re a satanist. I never see ‘em anymorescarabin
- I used to make it inside all the time... *gigglePonyBoy
- helloeatbreathedrive2
Mister Yoda, set a new course.
- bliznutty16
Talking Dog
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a Bullshitter! .... He's never been out of the yard'.- LOLautoflavour
- :)Gnash
- I lol'dRamanisky2
- haha why am i laughingprophetone
- haha this is an ancient jokeernexbcn
- The second pic.,.. lolscarabin
- Gardener7
I asked my barber to give me a haircut like Tom Cruise,
so he put a cushion on the seat.
- drgs6
Will glass coffins become popular?
Remains to be seen
- Nairn-2
have
have you
have you heard
have you heard the
have you heard the one
have you heard the one about
have you heard the one about traceroute