Joke of the Day
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- monoboy-4
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- ok_not_ok2
- What do you call a good Mexican joke? Carbon.iCanHazQBN
- ¿Qué?happybananas
- noooooobklyndroobeki
- georgesIII-7
why is the archeologist sad ? ? ?
..
.
because he can't find his mummy :(
- georgesIII0
DNA of Bin Laden has come back with a reading of 24% cocoa, 57% coconut, 18% sugar, and 6% milk.Experts say this is probably due to the bounty on his head.
- in the US "bounty" is a paper towel brandscarabin
- Sorry georges. Take your Euro jokes somewhere else. k? thx.iCanHazQBN
- BusterBoy-1
HUSBAND: Honey, I'm having a heart attack. I don't think I'm going to make it.
WIFE: Please...don't leave me.
HUSBAND: I love you. Please...when I'm gone, make sure you'll be happy. I give you my blessing to marry again.
WIFE: Don't say that. You're going to pull through.
HUSBAND: I'll even let you give my golf clubs to your future husband. Will you do that for me?
WIFE: Oh sorry...he's left handed.
- MrT0
f(x)=2x+1 walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'm sorry, we don't cater for functions."
- JOSF0
why did the chicken cross the road?
- MrT8
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change colour?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
- georgesIII3
I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.
.
.
Prophets are going through the roof.
- scarabin-1
here's another:
"A man and woman notice a ram rutting the sheep. The woman asks how the ram chooses his mate, to which the man replies that the ram chooses the sheep that farts. She asks if this is the same for men and he tells her that, yes, it is. Immediately, the woman lets out a fart and the two have sex. A little while later she farts again, with the same result. When the woman farts for a third time the man, who is by now exhausted, exclaims: “I’m not making love to you again, even if you were to blow out your very soul.”
- http://rs932.pbsrc.c…set
- i feel like if i was living in the downton abbey era this would be hilarious.mantrakid
- yeah they're not great. interesting to see what their sense of humor was like thoughscarabin
- Al_dizzle1
A girl once told me that pineapple juice makes your semen taste better. So I mixed it in a glass and to my surprise, she was right.
- Projectile0
I bought some shoes off a drug dealer today.
Dunno what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day
- BusterBoy0
With New Zealand in the cricket World Cup Final, the country has gone into a frenzy. So much so that the price of lamb has gone up to $40 per hour.
- georgesIII6
An elementary school teacher, a lawyer, a Catholic priest and three young boys are on a plane with only three parachutes.
Engines explode, plane starts going down.
The teacher says, 'Save the children!'
The lawyer yells, 'FUCK THE CHILDREN!'
The Catholic priest looks around and whispers, 'Is there time?'
- georgesIII4
I was in bed last night with my wife.
She turns to me and says "If you turn the lamp off, I'll take it up the arse."
I should have waited for the bulb to cool down.
- GeorgesII0
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, an Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, an Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, an Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a very fine restaurant.
- Carl_Weathers0
Whats big, green and fluffy?
Big green Fluff.Whats big, green and catches fluff?
Big green fluff catcher.