Punches For:
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- hans_glib4
fucking shitty google and their fucking annoying webp garbage that stops me saving images as image files.
fuck. right. off. cunts.
- I use this for images and a few other tasks.
https://chrome.googl…CyBrainX
- I use this for images and a few other tasks.
- Nairn13
Me, last night.
I opened the fridge and out slid a pack of raspberries that plummeted to the floor, violently disgorging its contents right onto a mousetrap I'd just put there, exploding the trap and a number of raspberries, resulting in what looked like quite a horrific scene.
This isn't what requires the Punches For - I'd not precariously perched the Raspberries where they fell from, so Not My Fault.
Angered by this sudden and calamitous infliction upon my peace, I slammed the fridge door shut and set about cleaning up the mess, quietly cursing my partner's haphazard positioning under my breath. I then did the dishes and went to change the child to put her to bed. Partner had been staying in the bedroom to feed her milk to try and knock her out.
I return to the kitchen to finish tidying up and put some food in the fridge. When I opened it up I stared in blank confusion at the scene that greeted me. It sort of reminded me of my drug taking days when it was impossible for me to fathom what on Earth I was looking at. Or my future days when I'm having a stroke and am staring perplexed as to what the fuck a hairbrush is.
Everything was white. As I resolved further, it appeared that everything was covered in a gloopy white mess and... oh fuck.
A tub of double cream that had been in the fridge door and didn't have a secure top had exploded when I slammed it, splaying contents every-fucking-where, and because I hadn't noticed for 20-odd minutes, had then dripped and oozed into every nook which hadn't been initially splattered.
This is at the end of my daughter's first birthday. The remnants of her first birthday cake were in a cake box on the bottom shelf. The outside, and indeed the inside of this box were covered in cream. The vegetable drawer was filled with cream. My precious fucking Lurpak was covered in cream. The posh cheese from Neal's Yard was covered in cream. Just every-fucking-thing is covered in fucking cream.
I spent the next 25 minutes furious and furiously cleaning up, hoping to somehow hide the evidence of my total fuck up before my partner came back in, which of course I didn't manage. In fact, she didn't manage to get the little bastard to sleep so came in pleading with me to 'bounce her' (as in in my arms gently as i pace around the bedroom, not hard against the floor like outside a club) only to be met with a scene of devastaion, at the centre of which is my daughter's ruined first birthday cake.
An excellent end to the day.
- Oh shit that was long, sorry.Nairn
- No sorries. It's those tiny bits of chaos that are the spice of life.garbage
- Hahaha life.monospaced
- oh wow, much recognitionhans_glib
- Dolla-dolla bill y’all!HijoDMaite
- I cleaned my Fridge last night, so nice, like new... Thoughts and Prays for you.shapesalad
- tbf, it was a good opportunity to have a clear out. it just could have been better timed, is all.Nairn
- Hehe... After reading only the first two paragraphs I knew this was writen by you Nairn. Oh, and I'm sorry for you ;)OBBTKN
- Brazzersaslip
- @aslip - there was a broccoli floret on the top shelf (why?) that was splattered in cream - gotta say, it did look a little sexual. weirdly so, obviously. alienNairn
- @OB - it's amusing to me now, but i was livid at the time. I'm definitely dying by 50. Not sure my heart can take the life-rage it's regularly inflicted with :)Nairn
- lol, you can't imagine how chaotic my daughters' growth has been... a cider, and keep enjoying it!OBBTKN
- Glad to see I'm not the only one who acts not like a buddhist monk when shit like this happens. I try to. But I don't.stoplying
- Upvoted!Bennn
- If someone had asked me; guess what's in Nairn's fridge, not sure I'd have gone for Raspberries + cream. No offence :)Fax_Benson
- Classic.mandomafioso
- https://media.giphy.…CALLES
- hans_glib3
Holidaying vandals who posted film of themselves spray painting graffiti from Cape Town to northern Namibia on Instagram have allegedly been identified and shamed following some tenacious investigating by locals.
The defacing of a colonial-era railway station in the world’s oldest desert so incensed Nrupesh Soni, 37, that he set about tracking down the culprits via their social media. By matching the tags daubed on the abandoned Garub station, in the Namib-Naukluft national park in western Namibia, to hashtags and check-ins on Instagram, he claims to have uncovered the gang’s trail.
After Mr Soni, a travel consultant, posted his detective work on Facebook last week, word soon spread and reported sightings of the visitors and evidence of their alleged activity began flooding in. Not only had they disfigured landmarks, but their social media feeds threw up footage of terrified birds and animals taken by drones they had illegally flown over some of Africa’s most pristine areas of wilderness.
“What started as a quick look into their identities has now become a national call for them to be held responsible,” Mr Soni told The Times.
With the help of people in Namibia who came into contact with the four tourists, he claims to have identified two of them: Eric Dang Pham, a Canadian aged 37, and Aurelian Malvolti, a Frenchman aged 35. The other two are also said to be from France and one was identified with his graffiti tag. The four alleged perpetrators could not be reached for comment yesterday.
Mr Soni contacted the authorities in France and his findings made the front page of Le Progrès in Lyons, where some of the alleged wrongdoers are thought to live.
Although officials in southern Africa have yet to announce any action, the accused are feeling the full force of the continent’s ire. They have had to shut down their websites after copies of their identity documents were shared online. Acquaintances who had supported their alleged crimes with tags and shares, and businesses, including a paint shop, that condoned them have also quickly gone offline or scrubbed evidence from their pages.
The French newspaper linked two of the tags shown in the vandals’ African escapades — “Soli” and “JAB” — to a known graffiti group in Lyons called JAB. A number of its members were fined in 2016 for causing €1 million of damage to train carriages, stations and motorway bridges.
Mr Soni, who lives in the Namibian capital, Windhoek, found videos showing the alleged culprits jumping fences in Cape Town to spray walls at a harbour, at train and bus stations, on road signs and on a flyover. Once they had crossed into Namibia, the gang filmed themselves driving along a tourist route, taking in the Namib desert, where they shot video as they defaced Garub station.
- Nairn4
"We are close on the designs. We'd be looking to have the material engraved over the weekend for collection Monday"
Yeah, how's about no? I'm not coming in over the weekend because your useless fucking designer who's been promising files for nine fucking days now can't get their shit together. Never mind that I've worked both of the last Saturdays and my partner's less than impressed.
I don't even know how big this job is - I suspect very fucking small.
I've always worked my arse off, long hours and weekends - fine - but I don't get other people who have no idea who I am or what I'm about simply assuming I would fuck my weekend to cover their ineptitude. So odd.
- it's not odd at all.
whoever or whatever you are, THEY ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUhans_glib
- it's not odd at all.
- kingsteven4
Been on strike for a few weeks, feels like forever (i work in a university much to my own detriment). While I could be a total arse about it, at the start of February I emailed anyone that had work scheduled during the strike action to let them know it was coming up... and got everything out and ready for students before I went off.
Anyway, fortunately I have friends in the department, that had overheard a coworker and myself being blamed by a particular person for a course being delayed because we were on strike, and they were going to bring it up at a meeting with the head of school tomorrow (knowing that we're not going to be there to defend ourselves)... So, I check my work email and sure enough, an odd email from my boss asking me to prioritise this particular bit of work when I get back (odd because i've managed my own time for years and shit runs like clockwork.)
Now, this person dishing out the blame is far more senior but we've been picking up their slack for years - to the point where last year we started following up phone calls with itemised emails to remind them what was discussed... I'm not meant to be even responding to emails while on strike but it gave me great pleasure to scab the fuck out of that scab this morning by emailing screengrabs of emails to my boss and head of department. Got a very understanding email from my boss in reply just there... Have a fun meeting tomorrow folks!
- Is it just some of you on strike, or the entire department/faculty/u...Nairn
- oh, scab the scab - I forgot what a 'scab' meant - so the whole university is supposedly on strike?Nairn
- folks in universities are in it to give students their best, generally everyone makes sure that their responsibilities are covered for the duration.kingsteven
- i wouldn't hold it against anyone, if we shut the place down they might listen quicker but a lot of people cant afford to loose 3 weeks pay.kingsteven
- but when we're striking over pay/ pensions/ contracts, and the students right up to the heads of department are supportive...kingsteven
- someone using the strike to cover for their incompetence, while we're off/ not getting paid to improve their working rights... in my eyes thats a scab.kingsteven
- ha makes a lot more sense now that you work for a university. and union ish as well. my advice to anyone is to work for free or less pay in the fields collegedeathboy
- has fucked up or state with bullshit licensure and groups who lobby the fuck to limit numbers. you will do better in long run especially since ppl catchingdeathboy
- on to the fact kids out of colleges who expect at least middle management pay with no experience are actually worth less than knowing newb intern ready to growdeathboy
- universities here are privately operated and i work within the medical faculty unless you want doctors learning their trade off youtube maybe shut the fuck up?kingsteven
- Good for you man, people like that infiltrate every profession and pounce on these opportunities to throw someone under the bus. also, fuck off db.ben_
- Nairn6
re: Hans' African taggers: +1.
I can't fucking stand taggers. I lived with someone in my warehouse days who did a lot of street art - but actual art, with permission, etc. One weekend she invited someone from Holland whose raison d'etre was to add his crappy little brand on to everything. I awoke on Saturday morning to find that the pointless oik had defaced all the walls and buildings around our warehouse estate, and they'd gone into town and tagged the likes of Magma in Covent Garden, etc. I was furious, but the cunt had already moved onto another city. I found it very hard to like the particular housemate who'd invited him after that.
if I ever found someone tagging my property, I'd have no problem liberally applying a baseball bat, quite hard, to their person. It's such a selfish, disrespectful, dysfunctional and small-minded but eogitistical activity.
- Which is to say, I hope those cunts from your post get what's coming to them.Nairn
- Personally I love seeing tags in places that are totally fucked to get to. Like the places that people could die from putting them there.ben_
- But seeing shit at eye level for the purpose of defacement or examples like Hans' post makes my blood boil.ben_
- lol, calm down, Rambo. You would do absolutely fuck all.face_melter
- Given you know absolutely nothing about me, how would you know?Nairn
- mg332
People who can't edit their photos - and I mean culling down 65 photos of generally the same thing to a more manageable and digestible set of unique photos.
It fits right into a "I gotta go post RIGHT NOW on FB and show you all these pictures from my vacation I took 10 minutes ago and I am so dependent on showing you that I can't even take 20 minutes to select the best photos" annoyance.
I'm literally looking at five sequential photos of the Giants Causeway in Northern Ireland where the only difference per photo are the ocean waves that are 300 yards away from them. Several other scenes from the coast that are the exact same situation. 65 photos that could have been cut down to 12.
My personal rule for photos, at least for my portfolio, is that I edit down to 10 on average, 12 MAX. No duplicates, not even remotely similar photos in that set.
- the most photographed part of the giants causeway is about the size of a football pitch and i have to make a day of it every time we have folks visiting :-|kingsteven
- this isn't even photos of that. They didn't even take the iconic photo everyone tries to take. This was just periphery, at best.mg33
- Honestly, it looked a little rough so maybe those views weren't accessible.mg33
- It’s way worse when you get the same from a pro you’ve hired.Gnash
- Whats "the iconic photo"? I went a few months ago. Interested to know if I got it.Hayzilla
- Hayzilla - IMO it's this: https://www.google.c…mg33
- ^ Photos of the largest portion showing the most dramatic part of the rock formation.mg33
- Ah yea. It was crawling with cunts when I went so didn't really take that many wide angle type shots of the place. Mostly just of my kids sitting on them.Hayzilla
- Just counted. 79 of them LOL.Hayzilla
- Krassy7
coronavirus
- Morning_star-1
That fucking cracking noise on the Magnum ice cream adverts.
- or the lineups of people waiting to get a magnum bar at their pop ups.ben_
- Nairn3
From a password reminder email from a company:
"We are sorry you forgot your login details for supplier.co.uk"
is it just me, or is that a bit snarky or passive aggressive? Should ber followed up with "you cretin" :)
- it's just you. calm down and eat some chorizo.
pro tip: try to keep it in your mouth this timehans_glib - passive aggressive and offensive, time to cancel them!VeganWarrior
- Agreed. PA, for sureGnash
- you should firebomb their headquarters.ben_
- ^Lol! +1PhanLo
- it's just you. calm down and eat some chorizo.
- omahadesigns-8
Everyone leaving "❤️" comments on instagram posts announcing closings and cancellations to events.
No one is saying things like "this is stupid, don't be paranoid".
We all know everyone is just looking for followers and is secretly mad.
- because it isn't stupidutopian
- Only stupid people would call it stupid.monospaced
- Please go get the virus and give it to your mom whose basement you live in.monospaced
- Punches for you, Omaha.sarahfailin
- section_0142
Users who complain that something "doesn't look right" on their screen. Then, when you remote in you notice they have their text and icons scaled up by 200%, and they're using Internet-Mother-Fucking-Explorer...
You silly son-of-a-bitch. A, get some fucking glasses, and B, how are you using this browser in 2020? Our IT staff blocked it on most PC's. There's a Chrome icon on your desktop. Lord in heaven, baby Jesus help me.
- NBQ004
Jared Leto.
Had no idea he sells this crap.
- Extra punch because he’s worth it.MrT
- And one each for the hosts of H3. Honesty doesn't seem to be one of values they embrace.Morning_star
- example? what were they not honest about?NBQ00
- it's the lack of honesty they embrace in turning limited and ambiguous facts into sensational claims to attract listeners and increase income.Morning_star
- punches for this asshole's eyebrows toocannonball1978
- thanksVapeNation
- NBQ000
These celebs
- so profound, madonna baby :)renderedred
- She has such a bloated Botox face, yikes.NBQ00
- She only hangs out with ppl half her age. Seems she really has issues with getting older.NBQ00
- (half her age or even younger I meant to say)NBQ00
- Krassy6
Facebook Warns Global Coronavirus Spread "Weakening" Online Ad Demand
https://www.msn.com/en-us/financ…
- That's a surprise.PhanLo
- I thought warnings were of something bad?MrT
- No worries, Russia will pick up the slack for Zuck.utopian
- This is kinda crazy cuz our biggest 2 games are primarily supported through ad revenue. This will truly be an interesting time in the game industry, esp mobilemantrakid
- Didn’t mean to shit on you there mantra, that was just for Suckerberg...MrT
- All good, i lament that ads play such a huge role in mobile & web gaming.. theres a giant part of me (genitals prolly) that hopes this will turn a tide somehow.mantrakid
- For a start nothing should be free. We’ve learned the hard way the cost was often high. The money you deserve is just siphoned off by these twats.MrT
- BusterBoy4
Bimbo Instagram model with over 2mill followers starting a change.org petition for mortgage, rent and salary relief from the government.
- Was actually the cunty husband of this chick https://www.instagra…BusterBoy
- Damn, she’s done a lot to her face in the past years.NBQ00
- Supply and demand, bro.ben_
- Ramanisky23
- I've been up for too long. He looks like a condom filled with sausage meat.PhanLo
- I mean > https://www.nga.org/…Ramanisky2
- https://www.youtube.…PhanLo
- NBQ005
HOLY SHIT, WHAT A FUCKING SCUMBAG. I always hated Jeff Bezos but now another reason to do so.
Jeff Bezos, world’s richest man, asks public to donate to Amazon relief fund: https://www.independent.co.uk/ne…
