Roommate Stories?
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- mg33
I need some mega-amusement today.
Please share stories about roommate fights, them getting into trouble, horrible girlfriends/boyfriends of theirs, the things they did that made you mad or grossed out.
- mg330
The guy I moved to Chicago with:
One day in the morning I was getting up to brush my teeth, and this really big girl came out of the bathroom, I had no idea who it was or what she was doing there. Just kind of chunky and totally not the type of girl he'd usually bring home.
He passed me in the hall as she was going into his room and he just goes:
"WHAT AN OINKER!!!!"
And then he reached over his head and lifted his nose up and just started snorting like a pig, right in my face.
I was dying laughing and asked why he brought a girl like that home and just says "Come on man, you know about my fat fetish, right? Big girls need love too!"
Swear to God that is all true. I was laughing so much I nearly threw up.
- PonyBoy0
my little brother mooched off of me for over 3 years... I just kicked his butt to the curb about a month ago...
... not that funny... but it's all I got...
- cinder0
My roommate sat me down to tell me that he was upset and hurt because when he came home I didn't stop what I was doing and come talk to him about his day.
I told him we weren't married and to grow a pair.
Actually, I didn't say that but I should've.Another roommate had weird digestive issues and ate garbage plates all the time.
One time he took a dump and didn't flush it. It looked like someone had chewed a full pack of chaw and spit it out into the toilet and then it sat there for several months. Except that it was poop.I made my other roommate come in a look at it and we had a laugh before almost throwing up and had to flush it.
That same roommate also had a deformed concave chest and we used to tell him to eat cereal out of it.
Another time we were making fun of him about his deformed chest and he pulled up his shirt and my friend screams "Oh my God!! You punched his chest in! ahhhhh!!!"
We almost died laughing.
My roommate was not happy.
- MrD0
cinder
i had a room mate who was like that. i had girls like that but i was ok with it. but for a guy to say "why dont you come and chat"
i just said, we are not dating or married, then he said, i think we should
than i packed up my stuff and left.
- ********0
I had a roommate about 7 years ago, who had a really nice girlfriend. One night we had all been drinking pretty heavy. After we all went to bed, she came into my room and laid in my bed, but I sadly never woke up because I was so piss drunk.
Next morning I woke up when my roomie opened my door... next to his girlfriend. Needless to say he was pretty god damn pissed off and didn't believe shit what she or I said.
He moved out a week after and never talked to me again. And I didn't even do anything wrong.
- MrD0
i would asked for her number
- ********0
Another time we were making fun of him about his deformed chest and he pulled up his shirt and my friend screams "Oh my God!! You punched his chest in! ahhhhh!!!"
We almost died laughing.
My roommate was not happy.
cinder
(Jun 27 07, 11:04)that is the funniest thing i have ever heard.
- shellie0
Cinder that was fucking great.
- ********0
are you being sarcastic too shellie?
- shellie0
no. you just beat me to it.
- k0na_an0k0
i used to live in a townhome with a good buddy of mine. one night i stayed home to freelance while he and his girlfriend and her friends went out.
at about 1am i woke up pretty hungry so i went downstairs for a quick snack. i was wearing a pair of workout pants and a t-shirt with cutoff sleeves that said "the man" with an arrow pointing up and "the legend" with an arrow pointing down.
so i'm standing in the kitchen eating and i hear my roomie coming in the garage, which the entrance came through the kitchen, so just to fuck with him i dropped my pants to the floor, kicked them into the dining room, and turned my back to the door.
well, in walks my roomie and a bunch of girls that came back from the bar. they were all like 'OMG!' and i just kinda turned around and said real non-chalantly 'you guys seen my pants?' and went about eating.
it was hilarious.
yes. they were impressed.
:)
i was in one of my moods.
- spendogg0
I had a roomate when i lived is SF and we were getting drunk every day - on the 5th day i went into his room to get something and it smelled like piss - I said dude your room smells like piss, he said I know its weird. turns out he had been getting up and pissing in his big plant in the room - it wouldnt normally be a problem, except it was a fake plant. idiot.
- shellie0
I had a roommate i caught a handful of times cutting herself or buying things to cut with. I had to hide my art box in my own house because I was certain she'd steal all my exacto knives.
One day (we shared a room then) we were both sleeping... lights off... and i can hear hear cutting herself in the bed across from me.
I moved out. Crazy bitches like can't be helped. But really I left because I figured she needed to go home to her parents where they can care enough to get her some therapy.
I never had any more roommates after that.
- spendogg0
hahaha k0na your a funny fuck!
- fowleryo0
While in school, I shared a place with this guy and his girlfriend. We hung out a lot, almost every day. At the end of one semester, we decided to take a trip (just the three of us) to Vancouver, BC. Everything was good until the last few days where there was this obvious sexual tension between me and his chick.
I kinda ignored it because I'm not the type of person to swoop in on someone else's girl. Anyway, a couple days later, she invited me to dinner... just the two of us. I was a bit apprehensive, but finally agreed.
At dinner she ended up telling me that she was moving out and taking a break from her boyfriend and wanted to make some babies with me (they were taking a break to experience new partners). It didn't surprise me, too much, but wasn't really about it since I was more friends with him than her. I told her that in order for us to hook up, he had to be with someone.. blah blah.
In the end, I decided not to do anything with her. It really fucked up our relationship as friends and eventually a bunch of other drama caused us to find new places to live and basically dissolve the friendship.
- MrD0
"It didn't surprise me, too much, "
so where is that ego thread again?
- k0na_an0k0
haha.
that same roommate...
after he slept with one of my ex's without asking me we were less than friends.
one night he's got some stupid chick over in his room and he's keeping me up all night... and i shit you not... playing his electric guitar to her singing. it was horrible.
as i'm laying in bed trying to figure out what the fuck to do i hear a car pull up in the driveway and a girl gets out. i see it's his actual girlfriend. so... yeah this is bad... i run downstairs and she all comes to the door upset and everything cause my roomie (her boyfriend) wasn't returning her calls tonight. so, cause i really liked the girl and felt bad that my roomie was being such a dick to her i let her in and told her that he was upstairs.
oh. she was italian and yes... she broke most of his shit in his room.
i never laughed so hard. i called my buddy and put it on speaker so he could here. it got really ugly.
we parted ways about 2 weeks later. that's what he gets for going after another guys ex.
- mg330
This one guy that lived with, we used to mess with him so hardcore on account of him never having his rent money or bill money.
A couple times we taped newspapers across the outside of the door frame, so when he opened up the door he just saw a wall of paper and he would have to walk through it.
The third time, we put some furniture on the other side so he fall across it and smashed into the wall.
Another time, same guy, we took all his living room furniture and stuffed it in the bath tub, a crummy love seat and some tables. He always got up early for work and we were conked out sleeping, he hated having to put up with us.
- joyride0
fowleryo... you should have fucked her, at least the story would have a better ending
- lvl_130
kona, please tell me you are kidding about owning one of those shirts!!! please!
you are such a tool, hahahaha!
i kid dude, but c'mon! those shirts are fucking horrendous!!! haha.
