Roommate Stories?
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- k0na_an0k0
While cleaning or FREELANCING???????
WTF, that is cracking me up that you may have worn that while doing freelance work. For what, lonely ego boost???
mg33
(Jun 27 07, 11:37)haha.
it provided a nice creative boost of energy. i felt like such a douche wearing it it just put me in such a good mood. some of my best (of the oldest) work came while wearing that shirt. hahaha!
- mrdobolina0
I had a roommate about 8 years ago. He had the place before me and I moved in for about 6 months. I used to give him all of my bill and rent money and he would handle the checks and what not.
6 months later, someone knocks on my door and it is the landlord asking for 6 months rent, I explained that I had been paying it and he said he never got it. So I told him I would talk with my roommate.
my roomate was blowing all of the money on coke, apparently.
So I invited 15 friends over and we were all drinking in the living room. I told my roommate I was moving out that weekend and that he should start looking for a new roommate and that I was stopping paying any of the bills that were due and that he should fuck himself. He started getting in my face so I physically threw him out of the apartment and down a flight of stairs. he disappeared for 3 days and I moved out.
- ********0
I had a roomate that would make daily donations of man batter to another roomates shampoo bottle. He did this for over 9 months, every day.
Last day of school he took off with only a note explaining his efforts for steve to have softer , fuller hair. funny shit.
- Jaline0
blackfrancis, that's nuts.
I'm glad I have my own room.
- spendogg0
hahahhaha
man batter
- mg330
The same roomate I scared with the pots and pans:
I got him another time by glueing/taping 10 of those champagne popper fireworks to the inside of his bathroom door, another brilliant feat of engineeering on my behalf.
The explosive part was taped to the inside of the frame where the door opened inward, on the vertical side a bit above head leve.
On the outisde of the door, I taped and glued the popper cords to the door's edge. It was so risky - didn't know if it was going to work and wouldn't be there to see the explosion.
The guy nearly had a heart attack. Comes into my room fully naked and just screams CUT THAT SHIT OUT! I thought I was dead for a second.
The bathroom was a mess, 10 of those poppers' streamers all over the place, the gunpowder smell.
It was my most awesome assault of all of them.
- Amp0
In college I had a roommate who would bring random girls home from the bar and make them watch him play Medal of Honor on his PS2.
He was unemployed and usually started his day at 10pm. He had/has illusions of being a blues musician.
I worked as a tech in the 24 hour computer labs, and that semester I had a 4am-8am shift. I come home and there's cocaine all over the coffee table, a random girl in the kitchen with a nosebleed, and my roommate pacing around really wired.
Then he started fucking the girlfriend of the biggest drug dealer in town (it was a small town) and making sure everyone knew.
Also, the most I ever saw him buy in terms of food was a bottle of Maker's Mark. Luckily the only food of mine he ever ate was a box of Cheezits.
I spent a semester in Italy and had a roommate who stole my food and my favorite jacket, hid in her room chainsmoking and talked shit about the rest of us (it was a 4-person apartment).
- mrdobolina0
Another time, right after moving out of the cokeheads apt. I moved in with some dudes that were straight up alcoholics.
My roommates brother had a suburban home, wife , kids etc and he would go on three-day benders at our apartment. Came home for lunch one-day and dude is passed out on the couch, empty bottle of vodka, pants around ankles, porn on the tv.
last roommates I ever had.
- ********0
hahahahahahaha
- sumojim0
About 12 years ago I moved in to a student house with a few people from my college course.
All was cool, except one guy. He was nice enough when he hadn't had a drink. But one drink and he went nuts.
One night I was lying in bed and I saw fire under my door, I opened my door, and on the floor was a mug with a little tube in it, and out the top of the tube was toilet paper which was on fire.
I saw my flatmate sitting on the stairs laughing. I picked up the mug and walked towards him, he started shouting at me to put the mug down.
I refused.
He told me it was a pipe bomb.
I put the mug down.
The fuse went out and my flatmate was sitting playing with his bomb, putting the lighter closer and closer to the pipe.
I'd left him to it and gone back to bed, then there was a bang.
H e was clutching his hand when I got to him. The pipe bomb had gone off and he had a cut in the back of his hand.
It didn't look to bad, so he was going to go to hospital the next morning (this was Saturday night).
The next day, his cut had scabbed over, and so he left it.
Two weeks later his hand swelled up, a piece of metal was stuck in his hand and the wound was infected.
He was lucky not to lose his hand. I moved out...
Beat that!
- Jaline0
I always found the differences between male and female roommates interesting. I get lots of stories from girls, so these stories from you guys are great.
- Jaline0
plus that story from shellie, heh.
- _salisae_0
heh reminds me of a cat trying to cough up a hairball
heh heh
- k0na_an0k0
i had two female roommates once.
it was crazy. a super hot blonde and an ok brunette with a nice personality.
our landlord hated the fact that we were living together so we had to tell him i was gay, and i always had to pass it off like i was a flamer.
so one day, he comes over and i'm in the apartment with this super hot chick, samantha and i'm cooking for her and everything, and he drops by so i had to tell him she was my sister.
wait.
shit.
i'm thinking of and episode from three's company.
nevermind.
- mg330
That third roommate I told you about earlier:
One night I was tending to the caluses on my feet, huge yellow things the size of a fingertip that I had cut off with my Swiss Army knife.
I put them on a piece of paper with a note that said "Lucas, you always complain about being so hungry when you wake up. Here are some delicious caluses I cut off my feet last night. Enjoy!"
Another time I put one of those fake arms (like you slam in a car door) in the toilet coming up out of the drain. The guy goes to piss when he wakes up and there's a hand sticking up at him! He was actually really scared, it freaked him out.
- blackfrancis0
for Kona:
- mg330
My 5yr roommate had a killer stereo, and late at night we used to put the speakers face down on the floor (we were on second floor), and cue up the most obscene orgasm scene from a porno we could find.
We would crank the stereo and blast the porn for just 5 seconds, long enough to notice, short enough to never know where it came from.
- k0na_an0k0
HAHAHA!
- Jaline0
lol