Quality jokes
- Started
- Last post
- 133 Responses
- skt0
Poor wee Mary Anne from Govan hasnae got any legs. She's sitting at the bus stop when Tam the bus driver pulls up, opens the door and shouts.
"oaright mary doll, how you getting on?"
- poomoo0
AHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
LOL!!!! Belter!!
- KuzII0
what did the deaf, dumb. blind, parapalegic get for christmas?
cancer
- poomoo0
sharon is a beautiful blonde woman with a lovely body, lovely breasts. she used to be a model before a horrible car accident where she lost both her arms and legs.
so anyway, sharon is on the beach sunbathing. some guy walks by and looks at sharon somewhat bemused to see such an abnormal but beautiful figure in front of him.
sharon says "excuse me, woudl you fuck me? i am dying to be fucked. no one will have sex with me since i lost my arms and legs in a car accident."
the guy is astonished. this absolutly beautiful woman has asked him to fuck her and he cant believe his luck.
so the guy fires in to sharon and she is loving it. he fucks her twice.
after it he pick sharon up and throws her into the sea shouting "now yer fucked!"
- paraselene0
that's not at all how it goes....
- nessdog0
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
- because of his gas bill
- nessdog0
what did the blind deaf and dumb boy get for christamas?
-Cancer
- poomoo0
that's not at all how it goes....
paraselene
(Jan 6 06, 03:39)enlighten me then. i made up the car crash bit.
- HumanMale0
what did the blind deaf and dumb boy get for christamas?
-Cancer
nessdog
(Jan 6 06, 03:47)Ouch... laughed though.
How about...
Q. What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
A. Christopher Walken.
Err...
- KuzIII0
"what did the blind deaf and dumb boy get for christamas?
-Cancer
nessdog
(Jan 6 06, 03:47)"i must insist that i made this very joke not half an hour ago:
what did the deaf, dumb. blind, parapalegic get for christmas?
cancer
KuzII
(Jan 6 06, 03:32)see?
- nessdog0
Sorry Kuz.. I gerenally only read 2% of your posts to save myself from time wasting. ;)
- KuzIII0
Sorry Kuz.. I gerenally only read 2% of your posts to save myself from time wasting. ;)
nessdog
(Jan 6 06, 04:18)cheeky!
- paraselene0
that's not at all how it goes....
paraselene
(Jan 6 06, 03:39)enlighten me then. i made up the car crash bit.
poomoo
(Jan 6 06, 03:55)it takes a long time to tell, so i'll just outline it for you. paraplegic girl in chair thingmy, sobbing on beach, fellah comes along and asks what the trouble is. she says it's her 25th birthday and she's never been kissed so she's thinking of throwing herself into the sea to drown. so he kisses her. then she gives it all, oh nobody's ever done this to me or that to me and so this guy obliges to keep her from offing herself. till finally she's still sobbing and says oh it's so horrible i'm 25 today and i've never been fucked so the fellah, properly fed up by now, chuckes her into the sea, insert punchline.
- poomoo0
ah... aye thats it - thats much better than mines.
- paraselene0
;)
- fargo0
There was this bloke who was an insomniac atheist dyslexic...
...he used to lie awake at night wondering if there was a dog.
- Mojo0
Wouldn't he be an agnostic if he was wondering about if there was a dog?
- skt0
Yeah fargo. You fucked that one up. Now go to your room.
- fargo0
‘tits’
- Mal0
A little girl is walking her dog in the park when an old lady walks up...
OL: That's the cutest dog, what's his name?
LG: My dogs name is porky.
OL: Oh how cute, does he like sausages?
LG: Nah he fucks pigs.