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- vitamins0
I wrote this poem for her. I posted it on the blog thread about a month ago where I like to share my misery, but they only throw rocks at me there now. When she read the poem, she tells me she cries and I left a tattoo on her.
I am a blind man
I don't know from up or down anymore
I resisted your love
And now you walk away from me
Tomorrow is a new day
But I still can't escape the ghost of you
I am still blind
Water won't wash it away
Thinking of you only brings pain deep in my soul
But what else can we do?
You only see me as a fool
When we are together,
This blind man only breaks your heart
A limited and simple person I am
I am a blind man
We use to spend our time together
We use to eat together
We use to sleep together
You said I didn't show my love enough.
I've learned to suppress my emotions since childhood
But your love has secretly blossomed in the back of my mind
I am just a ordinary guy
I'm not the most exciting guy
I'm not the best looking guy
But all I can offer is my loyalty and love
The grass is now greener where you walk
The sun will shine brighter where you climb
All I have now is darkness
But when this blind man looks up at night
You are still the brightest star I will always see
I feel defeated
Blinded by your loveShe replied with:
This song tells how I really felt about you:"In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes alongI spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defenseAnd every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I supposeBut if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to breakAnd this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knowsSo I would choose to be with you
As if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to breakAnd so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows"- omg you fucking faggot.Khurram
- She's a narcissist and you're a big girl's blouse. End of.mikotondria3
- At least I know love you jackassvitamins
- to Khurramvitamins
- and you don't know that the word is "used", in "used to eat..", not use. Relationships are more complicated than this. Fail.mikotondria3
- this is the most assanine pathetic teenage drivel for flow out of the mouth of a GROWN ASS MANKhurram
- That's not love, that emphatuation. Love is bad smells and washing up after you've had an argument.mikotondria3
- get a grip on your fucking emotions. I know it ain't easy, but jesus CHRIST.Khurram
- Like in the hour or so you took to write that, did you not at ANY point thinks "jesus, this is flowing out of a pitiful well of insecurity"??Khurram
- I'd expect more balls from Joe Jonas.mikotondria3
- insecurity"???Khurram
- i'm not sure what to say about thisbigtrick
- Well, women love my feminine intuition. Something you'll never understand. Biotchvitamins
- "Well, women love my feminine intuition. " LMFAO!!!Khurram
- Khurram0
Your insecure faggot jealousy that she shagged a man other than you is based on NOTHIGN to do with the guys age. Sugard Daddy? Nigguh pleese.
If the bitch was shagging a 30year old with clean teeth you'd develop a deep anxiety at the cleanliness of your teeth.
The only thing that your hurt over, is your loss of CONTROL.
- Continuity0
Easy, fellas.
We've all gone through something like this at least once in our lives; some earlier than other, some later than others.
This is your Time of Ashes, vitamins.
- Well yeah, the fucking pain is REAL. But have the self-reflection not to indulge in this mawkish nonsenseKhurram
- I'm not going to dignify the invective you used, but the fact is people have issues and they manifest themselves differently. And none of us have the right to judge anyone for their actions in this sort of situation.Continuity
- And none of us have the right to judge anyone for their actions in this sort of situation.Continuity
- NO. They manifest themselves the same way. Time and time again. And at 34, its time to stop the cycle.Khurram
- Khurram0
And the manipulative way in which you are trying to reassert that control, through ridiculous poetry unworthy of a 16-year old to make her feel guilty and telling her fake emotions you barely even registered when you were in the security of your relationship is just....
i dont have the words, someone help me out here
- Continuity0
Also, vitamins, do yourself a favour and pick up the following two books:
- 'No More Mr Nice Guy' (Dr Robert Glover)
- 'The Way of the Superior Man' (David Deida)For any guy with even the slightest degree of insecurity about anything, these two are essential for growth.
- vitamins0
You guys have the wrong impression that I'm devastated over this. I had my heart broken many times. I'm just blowing things out of proportion. The relationship didn't work out because I didn't love her enough.
- That's better.Khurram
- Funny thing is how much i've felt "hurt" by girls i haven't REMOTELY "loved" - and its entirely a lack of controlKhurram
- good. keep telling this to yourself, dry your tears and get over the woman already!bigtrick
- everything happened as it should have, sorry it still hurts - that'll pass.mikotondria3
- ********0
i agree with Khurram, tho think you can go a little easier on the guy. but vitamins, i thought you were being melodramatic for like a 21/22 year old, but you shouldnt be this way in your 30's. its just crazy.
grow a pair dude. man up, swallow your pride etc etc blah blah- also, you highjacked my thread mo fo!********
- oh, hehevitamins
- also, you highjacked my thread mo fo!
- Khurram0
Worse thing is when you think "shit, all this time i thought i was playing her, she was playing ME"
That's the worse part. LOL.
In time you'd be able to say "touche girlfriend!"
- vitamins0
It's all games until there's a ring. Her game is leaving me, making me jealous and hurting my ego. Whenever that happens, I wanted her back. But when I was with her, towards the end, I just didn't love her enough. She's at a age where she wants to settle down and have kids, and I'm not ready to have kids. I'm not even sure if I want kids.
- vitamins0
We broke up only 2 weeks ago. I think i'm handling it pretty well. I just know that i'm not emotionally ready for a new relationship for a couple of months.
The main problem is that the way it ended, the things that happened, it wasn't solid.
- It wasn't the way YOU wanted it. It didn't have the way to satisfy YOUR ego. That's all.Khurram
- mikotondria30
Mate, sounds like she's getting to that age and resents the fact that you don't want the same things as her as so has resorted to manipulation to see if she can reveal how much you can be manipulated and what you might possibly put up with. That's well shady, and well you know it, resulting in the vague idea that you don't 'love her enough'.
No one could, if she did that to them. She engineered an 'unsolid' ending as a way of keeping in the hand if you decide that you're still going to play her game.
It will only 'end solidly' if you decide it will.
Do it.
Do it today. Write her a proper, unequivocal goodbye (with an undercurrent of fuck you), and and explicit and clear revelation that you know her game and aren't going to play it. Calling her on it will shut the door and you can move on without bloody bits of you dragging behind like a fucking dog that's been run over.
Do it today. You don't even have to send it to get the benefit.But do.
- identity0
I'm 26.
I CONSTANTLY hear people my age and older say "I dont know if I want kids". You're GOING to HAVE kids. I can honestly say I dont know too many people over the age of 40 who DON'T have kids - but somewhere around 80% of the people my age say "they dont want them". It will happen. You'll change your mind. You'll want to settle down, in certain terms, and have a son or daughter. Suck it up. Al Pacino has never been married and has three children. You aren't better than Al Pacino. In ANY regard.- the last part was mean.
I apologize.identity - Fact. I'm 36 now, and ten years ago I was solidly against having kids. Lo and behold, my mind has changed.Continuity
- yeh, innit better than all that non-parental running-around. I mean - what do non-parents DO all the time ? Drink ? Shop ?mikotondria3
- sounds like a fulfilling alternative.identity
- the last part was mean.
- Khurram0
hehe, i remember one time i was seeing this girl and she was OBSESSED with me.
Within weeks she was inundating me with calls. I left for holiday and i returned with 20 voicemails.
I got to the point i stopped answering ehr calls - but strung her along anyway.
I "cheated" on her and attempted to cheat on her relentlessly - or as best the level of game at the time allowed me to. There were at least 3 other girls i shagged in that 9 month period, and way more i pursued.
Then at some point she went totally off me. I went fucking NUTS.
I became an incessant little boy on ADD - started reminding her of certain times where i HAD been "loving". "remember what i did for your birthday???" etc...
And then she'd be into me again, and i'd go back to being "aloof". And then when i got "aloof" i discover her sending naked pictures of herself to other guys.
What can i say in that situation? Can you blame her??
However obvious it is to me how damaged and broken our relationship was - how it was all fucking games from the beginning - the pain to your ego is REAL. And you feel it DEEPLY.
But you know vitamins, you never wanted anything long term with her. It's just the feeling of having a person into you that you miss. This chick could be any chick.
And i'm not comparing my situation to yours, but your emotions LIE. They make you see things for SHORT TERM gratification, simple as.
- Continuity0
^ I'll agree with this. The only way you can tell if it was proper love is after the dust has settled with time. Time is the only thing that provides clarity.
I'll be honest, with my break-up, a BIG part of the pain was ego. And I spent half of last year chasing after she'd moved on with someone else.
I haven't spoken to her at all in six months, but her birthday is coming up in a week, and I will send her an email wishing her happy birthday. Why? Cos I actually do love her and I want to wish her well, but it took me this long to finally, really come to terms with that after telling my ego to get bent.
The point is, only time will tell you if your feelings are lying to you or not.
- And I say i agree because, unfortauntely, I see a lot of my own former relationship in this.Continuity
- yeah, trying to get people back that you never THOUGHT you were that into in the first place... funnny that.Khurram
- I can't excuse myself, I just have to accept the realities.Continuity
- feelings are NEVER real. They are always arbitrary, momentary, and fleeting. Make peace with that.Khurram
- I think the hard part was that we truly cared about each other, and that's what really mattersvitamins
- Khurram0
you know what helped me get over the ^^ above situation??
breaking into her email like an insecure bitch and seeing her trying to hook up a date with some douche bag and failing MISERABLY, and then watching her sign-up to a bunch of "dating" websites, and knowing she was struggling and that i'd already moved on.
Yeah "evil" - but your whole feeling of loss and ego-pain is "evil" and maniuplative to begin with.
And even though i saw myself acting in this ridiculous way, you know that i only got a spring in myself, was able to become "friends" with her again, knowing that turning her back on me DIDN'T make her happy.
It sad, but i'm better prepared these days.
You don't chose your emotions, the best you can do is try to control them.
Turn the volume down from 10 to 2.
- This was many years ago by the way. I'm a different man now. I can bench-press my bodyweight now.Khurram
- Continuity0
Well, thankfully, I've made peace with my ego, did all of the soul-searching I needed to do in this case, and came to the conclusion I noted above. Really that's the whole point of the break-up period. I'm less guided by my emotions now, and much more rational about it.
- ********0
Everyone matures at their own rate.
- ********0
There's a difference between love and codependency. The later is something that's more difficult to break from. I reckon, sometimes, when you truly love someone, it's easier to understand why things haven't worked out.
In any case, time always sorts everything out. Be patient, don't be rash - and respect what your ex is feeling and believes to be true.
- Beautiful.********
- I don't know what's she's feeling. I'm so lost.vitamins
- And you're wasting valuable energy trying to guess. Only she can know what she feels. You take care of what you're in control of, which is you.Continuity
- ... control of, which is you.Continuity
- Beautiful.
- miesvan0
what the fuck...is this a sentimental office?
please, no more.