dad jokes
dad jokes
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- 271 Responses
- elahon19
- take an upvote and get the fuck outNairn
- wow. took me a second and then just...wow. how do we ban members again?_niko
- Sigh. Fuck you, elahon.
Have an angry upvote.Continuity - Lolscarabin
- HAHAHAHHA LOVE IT :)elahon
- ?sab
- OK that took me a sec. :|Akagiyama
- I know some single ladies who will love this!AQUTE
- @Nairn - ha, love yacanoe
- Told this joke immediately to my family.
I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.bezoar - explainjagara
- Ah, while I was writing that I don't get it I got it: Fiancé.Longcopylover
- LOOOOOOOL - Top tier dad joke. sent straight to my 16 yr old daughternecromation
- flol oh necro ... you're about to get disowned, you are!Continuity
- So why is her name "biance" after the marriagedrgs
- Oh, I read it as fey-onk. Whats a jayz anyway?sab
- hehjagara
- I cannot believe I had to ask XDjagara
- mort_24
I told my wife, “I won the Leslie Nielsen prize at the office today.”
Her: What’s that?
Me: It’s a place where people go to work, but that’s not important right now.
- https://i.chzbgr.com…prophetone
- WOTD********
- Standing ovation.garbage
- DAD LEVEL 80cherub
- Shirley, you're jokingkoma_
- Leslie Nielsen was the Lord of All Dads.CyBrainX
- Ramanisky216
- LOLLLLelahon
- wownbq
- dad jokes?sarahfailin
- Too soonNBQ00
- omfg ewContinuity
- flollfuturefood
- LOLYakuZoku
- As a Dad I'd be weary of telling this one!HAYZ1LLLA
- Ramanisky213
- I sill haven't used an emoji in my life.CyBrainX
- Triggering Gen Z everywhereautoflavour
- Thunbs Up 4 lyf yo.PhanLo
- Imagine being so old you think it’s cool that you’ve never used an emojiimbecile
- It’s almost as cool as hitting a woman on the subwayimbecile
- I liked this post but I wish the 'Upvote' link was a thumbs-up iconKrassy
- https://www.tiktok.c…hotroddy
- imbecile coming in with a slam!lvl_13
- Imagine being such a jackass you have a preference for little girl pictograms over words.CyBrainX
- just imagineimbecile
- Nairn10
- #bebenmonospaced
- Put the same receding hairline on those girls and you have three bens.microkorg
- Damn, where is Bennngrafician
- Like No Other!utopian
- poor dude, he has to deal with 2 times the bullshitYakuZoku
- think of it, two chics, one mother in lawmaikel
- :-Pben98
- Flol maikelNairn
- Thanks for the Mammaries
is his favorite song ❤️futurefood - like you just know those two woman have definitely fucked each other .. ickautoflavour
- Gardener18
- Gardener17
What were they shouting as the sniper opened fire?
Donald duck!
- Ramanisky214
- I chuckled_niko
- hahahahans_glib
- huh?nbq
- ^ hmm .. I’ll bite
curiosity killed the ...Ramanisky2
- elahon11
- PonyBoy9
- thanks for clarifyingfooler
- no problem... spread it aroundPonyBoy
- Gheesus, this is a dumb joke.Akagiyama
- I’ll triple bypass on this oneprophetone
- wow, blue ribbons to all of you lol_niko
- https://imgur.com/jU…kingsteven
- Krassy11
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
- vKrassy
- They're both Paris sites.Krassy
- nice oneshapesalad
- Telling my daughter this, so she can think i'm more ancient and dying than she already thinks lolnecromation
- say "flol", she'll think you're hipgarbage
- Nairn14
- palimpsest3
- Christmas jokes in November? Fuck you (and have an upvote)sausages
- I don't get it...nbq
- I for one would also like to get it.skinny_puppy
- https://youtu.be/c9p…palimpsest
- I felt like a fucking scientist when I figured this one out.bogue
- lol, it's so fucking stupid that it's good.garbage
- ♫ " ...you'll go down in history"ETM
- ^if he went down i bet his grades would be bettersarahfailin
- nope, no idea.. please explainautoflavour
- Palimpsest and ETM gave it away.
" ...you'll go down in HIStory"sephil - Something that indecipherable should at least be funny.CyBrainX
- To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the joke. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics...palimpsest
- jagara6
- I am the CEO one of the largest Mexican cheese manufacturers.
- Que. So?
Just made this one up. Thank you.
- *ofjagara
- 'K, so?
Would be more "legible".
#hooked on phonics.palimpsest - OK, so? also works.
Oh, queso?palimpsest - Lol. Loved pali's accurate edits.maquito
- But "Que" is Spanish, which adds extra depth to this phenomenal pun.jagara
- 1.Qué didn't work because it's pronounced Keh. 2.When you make a pun in writing you want to use the misdirection and have the reader hear the pun in their head.palimpsest
- But you do you, chief.palimpsest
- The more accurate one is it's being pitched to American Big Cheese, and the response should be inverted:garbage
- "Y que?"garbage
- I, too, am hooked on phonics.Continuity
- @garbage
You're gonna have to explain that one, champ. Because eye know compren-day.palimpsest - To quiero Taco Bell. Run for the border.monospaced
- mmmKay. So?wagshaft
- It's the common expression for "So what?" Kraft wouldn't give two shits about the CEO of a large Mexican cheese manufacturer. I didn't say it was funny.garbage
- @mono there is no "to" personal pronoun. "Tengo ni el tiempo ni los crayones", as the saying goes.garbage
- (That I probably butchered, but that was what one of my profesoras would mutter when I wasn't getting something)garbage
- LOL
So you were just flaunting your Spanish.palimpsest - Si, siempre. Estoy muy.. rusty?garbage
- I am glad this content sparked relevant debates and exchanges.jagara
- Nairn10
- Don’t forget about their cousin SkiddChimp
- Most folks aren't aware that they also had a gimpy-handed little brother named Stevie that they affectionately nicknamed "Claw"PonyBoy
- He also had a cousin that unfortunately got caught up in the seedy underworld and developed an addition. His name was "Track"elahon
- lnu7
Just thought of one all by myself:
- What's it called when you can control peoples mind but you don't really care?
- Telapathy
- *stealsNairn
- You may be glad to know that garnered a "Jesus Christ" when I told it earlier.Nairn
- It needs tweaking, "communicate through mind" instead of mind control.
Still gets a chuckle though.palimpsest - "when you can read people's mind, but you don't care what they think"drgs
- what do you call a lazy mind reader?
- A telapathist.Fax_Benson - doesn't work.Fax_Benson
- @lnu bravo!Krassy
- Thank you all! I will work on it a bit :)lnu