The Midlife crisis thread?
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- ben_3
Figure I have 3-4 good years left in this field before becoming complacent. Strong draw to the east coast to open a pizza shop in a tourist town. Bad idea? slice salary in 1/4 most likely, but increase family time by 1/2. Probably live mortgage-free with good savings as house prices are about 1/4-1/3 or what we'd sell for here.
- bezoar0
Perhaps it’s been mention before, too drunk to find out, but imho really what to know is if they can still be considered to attractive or at least fuckable. Married or single really. Is my dick ready, Pubic hair too long. Too much gray. Need more tats.
- dee-dubs3
Mid 40's here and try as i might i still can't fucking tell the difference between parsley & coriander!
- Coriander has a lot more taste and aroma!nbq
- hahahahanecromation
- take a sniff at the leafsBennn
- My local Turkish shop has bunches of them right next to each other and it fucking gets me every time.Nairn
- Parsley has wedgier leafs, coriander leafs are rounderdmay
- ^ Nairn....mine too!! I've resorted to asking my kids to go into the shop and buy it cos it doesn't seem so dense for a child to be asking which is whichdee-dubs
- huh? there is a massive difference, parsley being darker green for a start.shapesalad
- pango0
travel to india to find your self?
- BusterBoy0
Must admit, sometimes the idea of getting rid of everything in my life and moving to a different country does appeal.
- MrT0
I wonder if trans men have them too?
- Bennn2
"The Purpose Of Life Is Not Happiness: It’s Usefulness"
- Bennn0
"The Biggest Wastes Of Time We Regret When We Get Older"
- vwsung18t2
38, I bought a house 6 years ago with my fiancee. We broke up, been living alone in the suburbs for a couple of years. I put up my house for sale this week. Sent out word to everyone I know to take all my stuff. I gave away half my clothes. I don't value things anymore. I only need the essentials.
Arranged my job so I can work remotely full-time. Now I'm going to decide on moving to LA, close to NY (Queens, Brooklyn) or out of US. Excited about a new life but also terrified and anxious. It'll be like this for a few months until the house is sold. Then, I'll be traveling. Maybe in my travels, I'll find a new home.
- holy shit, I think I always thought you were another QBNer!
. Anyway.
Sounds like a plan, especially the cutting down on 'things'. I need to do more of thatNairn - do i know you?vwsung18t
- haha, No not at all - we've just been visiting the same site for nearly 20 years! For some reason I had your handle here as the original pseud for someone elseNairn
- sounds like depression.imbecile
- yeah so crazy that some of us have been around here for so longvwsung18t
- if you value a 'thing' so will someone else, so then you've go to protect, insure, lock up that 'thing'... and that's how you spend your life.shapesalad
- if you value being in the moment, aligned with the rotation of the earth. if you value life and simply being here alive on earth.. no one can take that.shapesalad
- it's a daily challenge.shapesalad
- but I like your plan.shapesalad
- thanks. i'm also seeing someone for the first time since my ex. maybe it'll become somethingvwsung18t
- I recommend motorbike routes over Northern Southeast Asia, you can still get internet access in the small towns...robotron3k
- Thanks robo. I think I heard that motorbiking in Vietnam is cool. I will look into it.vwsung18t
- Sounds rough, but also sounds like you're pulling through. A sabbatical is great if you can swing it - get your mind clear.ben_
- Accepted an offer on the house. Closing at the end of June!vwsung18t
- ...but Girl I was dating for 2 months just broke upvwsung18t
- ...now the buyer is pulling out so I have to find a new buyervwsung18t
- holy shit, I think I always thought you were another QBNer!
- allthethings7
57. Close enough to retirement to want it five years ago. Haven't been fulfilled in a job since being downsized in 2013. Had a decent run working from home but it wasn't really sustainable. I found a job (took it mostly for the health insurance...a long story involving being run over with my girlfriend while in a crosswalk, which revealed thyroid cancer, your classic bad news/good news situation), but it is deeply unsatisfying. A waste of time, actually, which is the only thing we have of value, really.
Not having a midlife crisis. Didn't have one after divorce 10 years ago, either. When I feel I'm in a crisis it's more a living crisis, the one that keeps us working in stupid jobs instead of just living. I do feel the Internet thing is real. I don't feel motivated as I once did. Getting home from this job makes me want a pint and some entertainment, rather than striving for things. I used to have a sidelight as a local newspaper columnist, but just don't care enough to do it (assuming people would give me a platform at this point. I kind of live for two nights of football a week, which I hope to be able to play until I'm 75.
I'm also completely disaffected by the state of US politics. I went to NL last winter and would dearly love to move there. Though a lot would stop me even if I could manage it...my kids live in the States, for one. Maybe retirement is best spent traveling around to spend time with old friends who I never get to see (1,000 miles away from virtually all of them).
The advice in here is all good. Do what you enjoy, spend time with people you love being around. Definitely live in the moment. When my girlfriend and I came to (I only had a gap of hours, hers was a couple of weeks), we felt much more profoundly how fragile our existence is. We were on our way to a pub after I'd scored a goal in my game (a rare thing) and was excitedly recounting it...it was such an ordinary evening, and then you wake up in a hospital bed and you realize that your kids were *that close* to being orphaned. It doesn't make you want to put up with any bullshit, I can tell you that. Like this fucking job.
- NBQ000
Maybe at a certain age we have too many expectations on how certain things in life should've been. We fail but we can get up again.
We can't change the past, it's done. We can try to influence the future. But should enjoy the moment/ present more often.
At the end of the day this earth was a inhabitable rock some billions of years ago and will be swallowed up by the sun in few billions of years. What does matter in the end in our little human lives?
Sex.
- +1monospaced
- I think by "Sex." you mean "Connection."
; )ideaist
- fooler0
This song plays in my head every morning while I apply my Rogaine foam...
- NBQ00-3
- MrAbominable8
49 and wrestling with failure. There are some external forces but largely I'm a product of my own construction. In my 30s, I had NYC by the tail, writing about design and working at a prominent fine art gallery. A few years later, the company I was working for Enron-ed. Suddenly in my peak earning years, i was sapped with depression and effectively black-balled from a small community.
I switched gears and moved to freelance design work but didn't really have the hussle to make it work and '08 didn't make for friendly freelancing. I still have a few freelance clients but it's mostly drip-feed moonlight work.
In this past decade, I've been married and divorced. Bankrupt. And overextended with zero savings on multiple occasions.
In the past few years, I've been able to crawl back into my original field. It's changed a lot and I've had to change my perspective and expectations. On Friday, before I saw this thread, I was smoking a pipe, drinking whiskey mid-day and watching the East River from my penthouse patio in the rain. I make very little money but ostensibly work in the field of luxury. Old contacts are starting to wake up and I'm working my way to cobble together things i'm supposed to be good at.
And all I can think about is how much I hate my coworkers and want to walk away from it all. again.
Like I said. There are a bunch of external forces but i'm the common denominator in all my problems.
- note: office in a Sutton Place penthouse. I live in Harlem.MrAbominable
- if i learned anything when i rolled over into 50s, it's to take it easy and day by day. zero fucks given most of the time.renderedred
- ^ yes. the world-shaking went away. now i just wrestle with 'what do i settle for'.MrAbominable
- i get what you say, your post also reminded me of my story. i am still trying not to "settle" for anything. that part is pretty lonely ;)renderedred
- Urgh. This reminds me of me a bit, and I'm 45. It's fucking depressing.Continuity
- BusterBoy3
I’m older than most of you bastards here. Going through a major funk. Had a melanoma removed about 7 years ago...had my checkups for a few years after and all fine. Just recently have started getting some pain in my shoulders and back...similar area where it was removed from. Shit scared it’s spread...I’m too much of a fucking coward to go to the doctor...with all the other shitty stuff going on (finances in the hole) I often think it’d be better and easier for everyone around me if I just shuffled off.
Sounds screwey...can’t really remember the last time I was truly happy, rather than just a moment of happiness. Would be 10+ years. Seems like every time I’m my life for years, if a situation has the potential to turn out good or bad, pretty much every time it’s turned out bad.
Freaking woe is me post. What a loser.
- Pain in the back could be anything at your age. Go to the doctor.cannonball1978
- hang in there man, there's always light somewhereBennn