The Midlife crisis thread?
Out of context: Reply #40
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- MrAbominable8
49 and wrestling with failure. There are some external forces but largely I'm a product of my own construction. In my 30s, I had NYC by the tail, writing about design and working at a prominent fine art gallery. A few years later, the company I was working for Enron-ed. Suddenly in my peak earning years, i was sapped with depression and effectively black-balled from a small community.
I switched gears and moved to freelance design work but didn't really have the hussle to make it work and '08 didn't make for friendly freelancing. I still have a few freelance clients but it's mostly drip-feed moonlight work.
In this past decade, I've been married and divorced. Bankrupt. And overextended with zero savings on multiple occasions.
In the past few years, I've been able to crawl back into my original field. It's changed a lot and I've had to change my perspective and expectations. On Friday, before I saw this thread, I was smoking a pipe, drinking whiskey mid-day and watching the East River from my penthouse patio in the rain. I make very little money but ostensibly work in the field of luxury. Old contacts are starting to wake up and I'm working my way to cobble together things i'm supposed to be good at.
And all I can think about is how much I hate my coworkers and want to walk away from it all. again.
Like I said. There are a bunch of external forces but i'm the common denominator in all my problems.
- note: office in a Sutton Place penthouse. I live in Harlem.MrAbominable
- if i learned anything when i rolled over into 50s, it's to take it easy and day by day. zero fucks given most of the time.renderedred
- ^ yes. the world-shaking went away. now i just wrestle with 'what do i settle for'.MrAbominable
- i get what you say, your post also reminded me of my story. i am still trying not to "settle" for anything. that part is pretty lonely ;)renderedred
- Urgh. This reminds me of me a bit, and I'm 45. It's fucking depressing.Continuity