Where you at?
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- nocomply4
Wow. Pretty darn serious thread. I admire all of you who have already shared, so here goes...
I'll be 35 in a month.
Married, own a home, got a 2.5 year old son and another one on the way.
I'm technically living the dream. It's pretty good, but the truth is the dream isn't as amazing as it once sounded.
I've known that I wanted to work in the field of web design/dev since high school.
I worked a couple of "real" jobs for marketing agencies out of college before going solo with freelancing and starting my own business.
I've now been working full-time for myself for over 9 years.
Things have been been good during that time, or better put: "good enough."
I haven't changed things with my business much in these 9 years because I didn't need to. But I've plateaued with what I can accomplish running a 1-person business, and it's time to build something that will take me through the next 5-10 years.
I'm trying to change my service offerings and productize my services just a bit so that I can delegate work I shouldn't be doing and more effectively serve my clients. That would create a more streamlined process that would allow me to increase volume without a drop in quality.
The ultimate goal is to have my wife be able to quit her job and work full-time for the business. That flexibility would be huge for us. It's something I believe is totally possible, but the business needs to gross at least 1.5X what it does right now. I hope to get to that point within the next 3 years.
- see_thru4
Thousands of miles from home and feeling lost. I'm looking to change up but my self confidence is on it's ass. I'd like to do something totally new or strike out on my own...but dickheads like *** make me feel insecure and worthless.
- mort_7
25, one daughter. One is in primary school, the other is a carton of custard. My husband smells. I can't find the remote for the garage.
- bjladams4
a lot can change in 5yrs
- Continuity6
43. Munich. Advertising CD, currently unemployed (this is unintentional). Not married/no kids (this is intentional).
On the one hand, I've had an amazing run of using my career to see the world. Left Canada in 2006, did Belgrade (2 yrs) > Amsterdam (2.5 yrs) > Copenhagen (2 yrs) > London (3 mths) > Montréal (1 yr) > Munich (2.5 yrs) > Düsseldorf (2 yrs) > Berlin (6 mths) > Munich again (since Oct last year).
On the other hand, since arriving in Germany, I've had a string of bad luck with agencies losing clients/needing to reduce headcounts within six months of my arriving there, so I was the last-in/first-out guy (except for that one multinational agency I worked for, and quit because I absolutely couldn't stand the people there).
I'm starting to really feel the pressure of age in this industry, and also recognising that, at my level, there simply aren't that many jobs to go around. It's really discouraging.
- Last bit, yes.tank02
- We're the two 'Germans' here at QBN, right?SimonFFM
- oey lives here, too, as does mekk, I think!Continuity
- Oh. And Georges. But he lives in Düsseldorf, so that doesn't count. :)Continuity
- me too (from Berlin)... I don’t really post anymore, but I’m still hanging aroundpressplay
- Hello pressplay! Didn't Georges say he's in Italy? I'm confused. Also thought mekk was in Turkey. Don't ask me why...SimonFFM
- he used to be, since then he relocated to D’dorf... don’t know about mekk...pressplay
- also autoflavour was in Berlin, he had an office in the same building as me but he moved back to Australia I thinkpressplay
- Oh, Arne is here, too. He of the magical landscape photos. He's in Baden-Württemberg. I think.Continuity
- tank024
I'm 37. Started as a motion designer, than graphic designer. Worked in some agencies untill 2008, the year my mom died. Realized, you only have one life. Became freelancer. Met my current through this. Started a blog (yes laugh) with her, that became a business im design, photography and writing. Bought a house, sold a house and bought a 3 story warehouse (photostudio, offices and home on top floor), renovating it now and costs are out of control. Bad luck that jobs are not coming in like the last 10 years but we are working an a second book and work for press. Worried about becoming obsolete in a world that only cares about youth and start ups. We'll see how it all pans out.
- Longcopylover7
This thread is confusing:
It's as frustrating as it's motivating. But I start loving you all.- (Yes, I am a bit drunk.)Longcopylover
- It had to come to that.CyBrainX
- Sober again, still love you.Longcopylover
- lolsea_sea
- elahon6
I don't post here too often, but here goes. Living on the coast of Maine. I turned 40 this year and we've got a shit-load of debt, and I feel like I'm drowning, paycheck to paycheck to paycheck. If we didn't have the debt, we'd be fine.
We tested our 9 year old son for learning issues this year as he's falling behind in reading in his classes. He's really good with math, just struggling with reading. They diagnosed him with ADHD and dyslexia. So we're working through that without medication, but with a tutor, yoga and mindful breathing, which has been actually been helping me with my anxiety about everything too. And it's helping him realize when he gets hyper or distracted and he uses breathing to bring himself back down again.
I sit in a fucking chair all day at my job, so I'm massively overweight, I weigh about 320, but I started going to the gym a couple of months ago and I'm seeing some changes, so that's making me feel better about things too. Plus my wife started eating vegetarian a year or so ago, so, to quote Jules Winnfield, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian, too. I have a long ways to go, but I'm committed to getting healthy.
But, I'm alive, I have my eyesight and hearing, no problems in the boner department, we live in a beautiful state a stone's throw from the ocean and near places where we can go hiking and lose ourselves in the world. So there are things to be thankful for.
- A little help on the debt area that I found. Listen to the Dave Ramsey Show podcast and read his book The Total Money Makeover. I am working my way out of debtcapn_ron
- using his plan and it is making me feel a shit ton better about my finances. Like night and day.capn_ron
- Thanks for the tip, I'll check it out. Is his plan where you pay down one with the least amount and take that money and apply it to the next one, etc. etc.?elahon
- it totally is. But first you save a small $1000 emergency fund. Then hammer at the debt while on a very tight budget.capn_ron
- Thanks, man!elahon
- pedromendez7
36 with 3 kids - was married but separated 2 years ago because of a cheating wife... life literally flipped upside down since then...
Been the most challenging time of my life... 2 years on things are definitely getting better but still very tough at times...
Im a design director with an agency - been there 11 years now and progressed from junior to the most senior designer now. Really enjoy it, the work is good and the people are great - but struggling with a crippling mortgage now on one wage thats consuming over 50% of my income... so Im considering a change.
Feel like I'm at a massive fork in my life right now.
- slappy6
I started in design doing interactive CD presentations in Macromedia Director back in 2000, then moved into motion graphics for 3 years for a wildlife documentary studio.
When they started to go under, I went corporate to make some money so I could start a family with my high school girlfriend. I worked in a global mining company for 6 years as a web designer.
I left to go into a brand/ad studio (because I thought it would be more fun) and worked under an oppressive creative director for 3 years.
Feeling numb, we sold almost everything we owned and I left to join a design studio on the other side of Australia, in Melbourne. I plan to be here at this studio for a very long time. Just good people with good priorities. I'm about to turn 38 and I'm still married to my high school girlfriend of 21 years and we now have 2 kids.
The next chapter will be selling up in the suburbs and buying a house out in the forest and maybe getting a Land Rover Defender if there is any cash left over.
I know this probably sounds like I have had it easy but I had a pretty rough start and have steadily chipped away at building the life I want over a very long time.
Thanks to everyone who shared in this thread, its heartening to know people have been through some of the same challenges.
- BusterBoy7
The one thing that comes out of this thread...and I hate to use a cliched line, but everyone has their 'stuff'. At times I (and all of us I guess) can sit and think we are alone with all the weird and wonderful feelings we have...but truth is, most of us go through the same shit at one point or another. It's how you deal with it that is key.
Myself...I get stuck in these massive ruts that I just can't seem to get out of. My current one has been going for about 10 years...sucks balls big time.
But I live in hope. That's all I really have (apart from 2 great kids). I spend a LOT of time alone, which I am comfortable with, but not sure it helps. SO after years of thinking, I have finally booked in to seek some help. I don't think I have any major depressive illness...but I just need to talk to someone.
So here goes nothing.
Keep it up dudes and dudettes. You're all loved!
- Try out therapy, good luck homie. It helped me figure out a thing or two.BonSeff
- Only thoughtful intelligent people get depressed. It is very common. Therapy helps. Been there, so I know.SimonFFM
- I need to try therapy also. Thanks for your input man.riskunlogic
- I've just started. My first therapist said I was to much (goth street cred plus 100) and I'm about to start a Jungian therapy session. quite excited actuallymugwart
- I tried CBT two years ago - first it was very good but some how it got me in a worst state.mugwart
- since19794
trying to love life everyday.
- BonSeff4
42, Plano, TX. Got run out of Austin 15yrs ago after the .com crash, had to move up to Dallas to find work. Worked for a challenging interactive shop and developed anxiety. Losing my dad didn:t help.
But moving up here brought me to my wife and we have a beautiful, spirited 4yr old daughter.
I currently am an Interactive CD for a mid-sized agency. Coming up on 20yrs since graduating college. I am growing old and crusty and having a hard time relating to the kids I manage. Pushing pixels around and making things pretty is getting old as well. But its all I know.
- I should have gone into accounting or plumbing. nothing creative about accounting and plumbing you know you are dealing with shit going inBonSeff
- ™BonSeff
- I dream of mowing lawns for my next job somedays, the grass is either cut or not cut.slappy
- "spirited" meaning hyper active?! ;-)mugwart
- Spirited in super happy and full of life! Just a wonderful little person.
http://halftonefacto…BonSeff
- dyspl7
38 - No kids yet
Left France in 2010 for Singapour to follow my GF, we got married and then moved to USA.
I Landed my dream job in California a couple of years ago, and it's exactly if not better than what I was hoping it to be. In the meantime, after a year at this job my personal life went to shit, I went into depression for about a year. I did a lot of therapy and gym, it helped me a lot. Things are way better now, I'm not as in good shape as I was then, but I'm happy.
I'm still at this job, and keep growing with the company.
I work a lot, doing extras on top of my full-time job, I'm currently trying to save some time to start a side gig/personal project I've been wanting to do for a long time, and Wifey and I try to save money for a future home.
I've been pretty lucky so far, even though I worked hard for it. Curious to see what's next.
- d0mino9
34, Melbourne, Australia
Grew up in Brisbane. Studied design to work in Advertising.
After graduating started working for a real pack of dickheads designing Annual Reports. These reports are all due on the same day, so we had horrendous crunch times. Worked minimum wage without a day off (that's weekends, too) for months on end. They ended up firing me after a year, which was a great blessing.
The day I was fired was also the day that applications for an advertising program (AWARD school) closed. I had been toying with the idea, but thought I would tough out another year doing annual reports before jumping ship. Think I didn't have the time or energy to put an application on the day it closed. GF at the time really pushed me to do it, gave them a call and got an extension of 2 days. Applied, got in, and that set me on my path to work in Advertising. If GF wasn't there to push me my life would be very different.
Got a job at a great agency doing finished art. Really inspiring creative leadership. Worked my ass off doing FA with the hope of rising through the ranks. Got a job offer from a competing agency as junior AD with a writer I did AWARD school with, told my employer I was going to walk. They really wanted to keep me, so put me up to junior AD and I worked directly with the CD (writer) for about a year until they put on a junior writer to team up with me.
Worked there for 6 years. Learned so much. Did great work with great people. The CD and MD ended up selling the business to a big global group about 4 years in. The culture really changed in those last two years.
In those 6 years I married that GF, we bought an apartment. Life was good, but didn't really have a sense of the world. Was pretty sheltered in the creative dept there.
During that time wife got really caught up in a design niche and got lucky with timing. We moved to Melbourne to start a business together, bigger creative industry to work with.
It's been almost 6 years and the time has FLOWN by. We were living in the studio for the first 2 years. We have a 2 year old boy now, and we bought a house in the burbs. We have 4 staff, not including ourselves.
Late last year I bought into another business, doing digital development servicing creative industries (design studios). It's been a learning experience but great so far. A QBN hookup was a godsend. For this I am super thankful. You know who you are. Biggest change is business partners not being my wife.
Went into business for myself for flexibility – saw my CD going home at 6pm for half an hour to read his kids a story before bedtime and then head back to the studio with us to see the night through. Didn't bother me working late in my early 20's, it was fun. Good work, good crew but if I were to have a family I wanted to spend time with my kids. Fast forward to now, currently working 4 day weeks, spending one day with my boy. We go to the zoo almost every Friday together, just me and him and the spider monkeys. It's great. Squeeze in extra work during naps, and evenings, but it's on my schedule. Not sure how sustainable this is though.
The pressures of running 2x business is real. We're renovating our house. Wife is keen to have another baby. Am I happy? Things are super, super tight at the moment. I think that is feeling the risk of new business and the slowing in growth of the old.
Watching the bottom line, chasing monthly sales targets is exhausting.
I have a lot of responsibilities to a lot of people.
- I knew a bunch of dicks that did Annual Reports...in Melbourne. Richmond to be specific! :)BusterBoy
- these dicks were Brisbane based. After I left they folded a year later because one of the dicks was cooking the books.d0mino
- The pressure is high. I had 7 staff at one point all relying on me to bring in the work.breadlegz
- thumb_screws4
Great thread, so interesting to hear others QBN’rs stories!
37, married and feel like I’m in a really good place at the moment :)
I had typed out a massive synopsis of how I got to where Im at. Re-read it and realised its irrelevant.
Designer by trade but moved into advertising creative, have lived and worked in Sydney, Melbourne, London and currently in Hobart.
A few years the absurdity of the pressures of working in agencies started to become apparent and I started to look for an out.
Had my Honeymoon in Tasmania and instantly fell in love with the place, we promised each other if we the opportunity came up to work here we would take it.
I got head hunted by an agency (I don't work there anymore, I'm self employed now) and moved here.I shifted from being someone who defines them self by their work/career success. To someone who still loves their work but realises that its only a small part of what I am and do. I think the environment here has had massive impact on me in that regard.
- We visit Tassie at least once a year, I always dream of buying a place in Sandy Bay. Could happen.slappy
- Do it! Its still way cheaper than the Mainland. I live on the ridge above Sandy Bay.thumb_screws
- Wow, Tasmania! Great story!SimonFFM
- My brother in law looked at a map of Tassie...and decided it wasn't for him ;)BusterBoy
- Hehe *boom tish*thumb_screws
- fate7
30 - Terre Haute, Indiana
Hate, hate, hate it here, can't believe I've allowed myself to stay in the midwest for as long as I have. There's nothing to do, the meth and opiod epidemic is real, little to no jobs, very dirty.
Trying desperately to move to Los Angeles and start a new life.
I'm happily married, no kids yet.
Started my own agency about 3 years ago. Before that, I worked for 6 years a Creative Director for a regional marketing firm. I worked like a dog, first one in, last one out, until the hours got to be too much. They offered to make me partner, but with the choice of spending another couple decades in the midwest and with 30 approaching fast, I decided to jump ship.
Hardest decision I ever made, but best decision I ever made.
After that, they decided to close their firm, and were gracious enough to give me their clients. Still on great terms with both of the former partners of the firm.
Running a business is stressful, but I worked freelance for years and years and years, so it's been like jumping on a bicycle.
Really hoping the move to California will be a fresh start and the right move for my career. Wife and I have traveled extensively the last 3 years, and California is the only place see for our futures.
I would love to get a CD job at an agency and be able to finally put down some roots.
- scarabin9
learn learn learn
werk werk werk
skipping burning man this year to focus on these things.
starting as a beginner at a place that feeds my mind but dominates my time. complete reversal of previous years.
ended a 12-year relationship, still going strong in a 20-year one. don't want kids because i don't feel like i'm qualified for that sort of thing.
living humbly but rent-free in an old house but doing things to make it cozy.
i try not to compare my path to others or think of the fact that it's half over. just do my best day-to-day, not be a dick, and enjoy what i have.
i do need to travel more!
- No one is really qualified to have kids. We just have them and adapt fastbreadlegz
- yup, you learn on the spot with kids.microkorg
- share your pain about learning. With kids, your view will be the best view. No one is qualified. Its better to question your logic than be confident and 'know'mugwart
- defiantly travel more. I'm itching as well. We all should do a QBN road trip!mugwart
- It's fun to meet someone all giddy and excited about going to burning man and say to them in a dead pan face, "yeah I've gone a few times, it's pretty cool..."robotron3k
- SimonFFM6
41, Frankfurt, Germany
I live in Frankfurt for 20 years now and would like to move. Frankfurt is just a hub for me. With an international airport and good train connections to France, it makes it possible for me to travel to places. But somehow it feels stupid to live in a place where we neither have suitable models nor locations. If only I knew where to move. I cannot decide this for myself as my wife should be moving with me. From afar this might sound simple, for us it isn't.
In 1997 I came here to study design and always worked independently. Being self-employed never was easy, but it's the only way I can work.
Currently I work on very exciting projects. One is my second photo book that I will publish in October 2018 and another is a client project I am not allowed to speak about. It involves naked women, so a lot of people are jealous of me.
- That last line. I was waiting for you to chime in, mostly so I could apply for an assistant position.garbage
- What about Amsterdam? Hubs and I'm sure models and its not quite London price. Or why not France itself? Get a large barn and create a studio?mugwart
- Amsterdam is cool, but a lot of rain. Zero nude models there as well. Paris is too expensive. I don't even need a studio. We will see how things progress.SimonFFM
- matski10
40, Newcastle, England.
I started as a graphic designer, moved to London after graduating and worked at a few design agencies for 13 years. I got to my limit working as a designer, was very bored, disillusioned with clients etc, so decided to do what I really love, which is painting. Now I am a full time artist.
I sold my flat in London, brought a house by the sea, from where I now paint. I'm about to launch my new career as an artist as I've been busy putting a big collection of works together. I wouldn't have been able to do this but for the fact I am alone, no kids or dependents.
I can relate to many here about being alone, but for me, this is because I have an acute speech impediment (stutter), so communicating verbally for me is very difficult. Not being able to talk, has without doubt held me back, not only in my career as a designer, but also life in general. Its very frustrating, but you adjust and adapt. I've come to terms with being alone, it doesn't bother me, and I enjoy a simpler way of life.
My health is good, and I've found as long as I do three things everything is ok with the world:
• Keep things in perspective
• Keep things in context
• Accept life isn't fairI think accepting life isn't fair is really important. When you come to terms and actually accept life is not fair, it helps to move on. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm happy now, but I am definitely more happy now than I was living and working in London.
- I have a stammer and issues communicating. I share your frustrations. Fantastic life though. Love to see your art works.mugwart
- Re: last paragraph - London's the worst place in the world for a sense of fairness, esp these days. Would love to move to Toon, but foreign partner isn't keendetritus
- NIce man, i want to get back to painting too.i_was
- Good luck with the painting Matski!nylon
- Good on you mate. I have no speech impediment and struggle to communicate. Good luck to you.BusterBoy
- "When you come to terms and actually accept life is not fair, it helps to move on." - The Man has his foot on your throat and you're okay with it.robthelad