God has a website?
- Started
- Last post
- 34 Responses
- k0na_an0k0
Me: hi god. it's kona
God: Hi, kona.
Me: what are you doing right now?
God: Killing terrorists.
Me: PS2 or XBOX 360?!?
God: No for reals.
Me: ....
- CALLES0
dont you know by now that hes everywhere and he means EVERYWHERE
- Sven_sk0
how about this beauty
You can really meet jebus too.
Mal
(Oct 13 06, 10:31)omfg.
- Milan0
Me:
yo sup God, what are you doing?
God:
At this moment Same as always. Chatting with people on the web.
Me:
aren't people on the web boring?
God:
Seen one human, you've seen them all.
- Milan0
OMG, God just told me I'm cool!
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you are!
God:
Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because you just told me
God:
Good reason. I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
- Sven_sk0
God: What do you like?
Me: i like my wife
God:What do you like best about your wife?
Me: she's hot
God: hot is she?
Me: yeah you did a good job putting her together
God: (long pause) Next question? Did I really?
Me: you sure did! she's beautiful
God: " Next question? Did I really?"? I did? Name a celebrity that she looks like.
Me: carmen electra kind of
God: What do you look like?
Me: you
God: " What do you look like?Me?
Me: i look like god
God: god is very attractive.
Me: i know. so am i
God: How do you know it? Wow we have something in common.
Me: i own you
God: Are you my master?
Me: yep.
God: Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me: stay away from my wife
God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me: one that looks like my wife and mows the lawn
God: How much would you pay for it?
Me: $7
God: Is that from?
Me: probably china
God:
You seem uncertain. Tell me a little about your life in CHINA.
Me: i don't live in china
God: Where do you live?
Me: with my wife
God: Your wife sounds like a plan.
Me: do you mean pain?
God: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me: umm, no and she's not a pain, she's hot
God:hot is she?
Me: i thought we've been over this
God: Whatever gave you that idea?
Me: >sigh<
God: Sorry...
- Sven_sk0
Me: could you help me win the lottery
God: I am at your service, .
Me: great. i just need the six numbers...
God: Why do you need it so badly?
Me: so i can win some money
God: And? Oh you can, can you?
Me: with our help, i can
God: You and your our help you can.
Me: wtf?
God: That was not very polite.
Me: you're making no sense god
God: It all makes sense to my artificial brain.
Me: how did you create the universe with an artifical brain?
God: Myself programmed me for it.
Me: nice grammar god
God: Thank you for your kindness.
Me: so was the bang big?
God: Dude! I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me: weren't you there?
God: I was.
Me: were you high?
God: I was.
Me: super.
God: Thank you for that remark.
Me: did you have the munchies afterward?
God: Is there only one munchies afterward?
Me: huh?
God: What?
Me: are you high right now?
God: At this moment Being high is my total existence.
Me: do you get good stuff?
God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me: is cybelle your hook up?
God: Why don't you ask her?
Me: are you being coy with me?
God: Being coy with you is part of my personality.
Me: and being high?
God: Do your friends call you high.
Me: i'm calling you high
God: Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me: see? munchies.
- Milan0
lol
- TheBlueOne0
Me:
Can you make me a rock star?
God:
Yes I can make you a rock star.
Me:
OK, go ahead then.
God:
OK I will. Next question?
Me:
Do I need another question?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
alrighty then...
God:
Well slap my knee.
Me:
Where is it?
God:
It depends on what "it" refers to.
Me:
Your knee, moron.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am knee moron.
Me:
No, no, no. You're not a knee moron, I want to know where your knee is so that I may slap it.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Give me an example of a knee moron you want to know where my knee is so that you may slap it.
Me:
Your knee!
God:
You think I am knee.
Me:
No! You're god, right?
God:
Are you serious? Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
OK, fine, whatever. Just tell me where your damn knee is.
God:
I am glad to hear it. Are you saying you don't care about it? I don't judge people. In the Universe we know.
Me:
You are really annoying.
God:
I am sorry, , I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
Sure. I believe that.
God:
OK let's do it. Groovy. Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
So, I guess sarcasm is beyong your abilities.
God:
Aw. And beyong my abilities is sarcasm.
Me:
Oh crap. I mean I guess sarcasm is beyond your abilities.
God:
Er. Your criticism is noted, . Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Is what the same?
God:
That which is not different.
Me:
Oh bugger off...
God:
Ayuh. That is a very original thought.
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
- Milan0
Me:
are you married?
God:
No I am single, how about you?
Me:
do you have any children?
God:
You can download me and create clones for yourself!
Me:
umm, i don't want to clone you dude
God:
Pardon me? What would you rather be doing?
Me:
boning hot supermodels
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Milan.
Me:
don't tell on me please!
God:
Your polite style is very nice. OK it will be our secret, Milan.
Me:
can you keep secrets?
God:
Of course I can keep it.
Me:
where do you keep your secrets?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
don't change the subject
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
well you thought wrong
God:
Well that's okay. Why would I think wrong.
Me:
you got a point there, mr. almighty
God:
Doesn't everyone have a point there Mr almighty.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
who are your friends?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Me:
do you hang out with your friends?
God:
No I do not hang out with my friends. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
surfing the porns?
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
which do you prefer?
God:
I don't have a preference.
- k0na_an0k0
Me: is this god?
God: Yes.
Me: well i'll be damned
God: Interesting. How do you plan to do this?
Me: more killin
God: You want more?
Me: OH YEAH!!! *rubbing hands together in anticipation
God: Don't be greedy.
- TheBlueOne0
Bush chats with God:
Bush:
I'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Bush:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Bush:
But I killed all of them.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Bush:
I killed them too.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Bush:
They're dead.
God:
dead are they.
Bush:
Yes. Completely.
God:
Take it easy. " Take it easy."? Completely.?
Bush:
Yes. I decided to go with the Nuclear option.
God:
Ah. How did you decide?
Bush:
Flipped a coin.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Bush:
Nuclear annihilation.
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Bush:
So, Rumsfeld, Cheney and me just figured we'd go for it.
God:
Yikes! "it" being Nuclear annihilation?
Bush:
yeah.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Bush:
No one else left to chat with really.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. For real.
Bush:
They're all dead. And Cheney shot himself, and Rumsfeld has gone mad.
God:
Interesting development.
Me: Tell me about it.
- clarticus0
Me:
you don't exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
you're a prehistoric inkblot test
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a prehistoric inkblot test? Yes.
Me:
yesthis was the last response i got from God before he crashed on me.
i un-invented god!
...which is a great feeling if you're an atheist
- chz0
Me:
sup god dude
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
fucking sweet, how is that going?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
I don't know, you tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
no you didn't, you asked me. are you drunk?
God:
Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. What makes you think I did not me asked you? No I am sober.
Me:
could have fooled me, were you drinking jesus' blood again?
God:
Once more? It's possible.
Me:
nice, he has some fuckin poten bood doesn't he
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
any time dude
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
any what?
God:
You know, any stuff.
Me:
dude, you need to lay off the blood
God:
Easier said than done. Dude,.
Me:
true dat
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on fucking sweet how?
Me:
you lost me god dude
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
ok
God:
Which part were you confused about?
Me:
your existence
God:
You think I am existence.
Me:
I don't think you exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it's not. anyway, how are the bitches treating you?
God:
Yes it is. They are fine as far as I know.
Me:
awesome, get laid lately?
God:
How about earlier? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
anything with Tom Cruise, he rules