as drunk as a lord
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- ********0
partying at the Carnavale in Venice on study abroad. had to help one friend home who could no longer walk. at all. she had puked in a canal, in a bar, and looked ready to puke again. us three girls struggled home and had to go through one dorm room to put her in bed. woke a hosuemate on our way through, but friend was struggling/puking/falling over so didnt notice much.
the next day my other friend (not the drunk) asked if I had seen, by any chance, our 2 housemates having sex when we walked throught the room. uh, no, I didnt se that. she didnt believe me, that I didnt even see what was goin on. ew
- wesfx0
okay this one is pretty bad...and is the reason why i stopped drinking hard liquor.
one of the biggest djs in the world was playing at this club downtown, but they were well known for having really high drink prices, so i met up with some friends at a different club down the street that had cheap drinks before the show. i drank 6 redbull+vodka's and was already stumbling by the time we left. i showed up to the other club, opened up a tab and drank 7 heinekins and was so blitzed that the rest of the night is a complete blur.
during the duration of the party i did all sorts of crazy shit like pour a beer on some dude's head from the 2nd floor balcony and just made a total ass of myself (a friend of mine showed me videos the next day =/ ).
now the bad part....around 3:30am or so pretty much everyone i knew had split so i decided to leave too. after wandering around downtown for 30 minutes i finally find my car. i get in and start driving home...next thing i know im waaaay out on the northside of town (i live far southwest) and realised i had gotten on the wrong freeway. so after figuring out where the hell i was i get on the right freeway which just happens to be a tollroad. i went through 3 or 4 toll plazas without stopping and paying then somehow made it back to my house. the next day once i remembered everything i was like W T F!!!!
i stopped drinking liquor and haven't had a night like that since.
- solmo0
W T F wesfx
You remembered everything?
Wahaaaaa.
- wesfx0
for some reason i remember the drive home, but the whole time at the club i don't remember anything.
- paulrand0
• a friend's wedding
• open bar
• offered bedroom at friends of friend's parents
• midway through night, get instructions on how to drive there
• immediately forget instructions
• hours later, drive around blindly, magically arrive at house with unlocked front door some time later
• wife and I stumble upstairs to open bedroom door
• friendly labrador retriever comes in with us
• turn to look at time on digital clock readout, see 20 of them
•stumble to bathroom down hall
• forced to choose sitting on toilet and vomiting into toilet, choose former
• an hour later my wife comes in to find me naked on hands and knees, wiping vomit from between radiator heating elements, wall, etc. and washing fleece bathmat in tub, etc. for rest of night
- grayhood0
damn rand.
i got one from my senior year. there is a philly u sponsored bus trip to NYC, Dennis take me and some other kid for drinks at 2pm, he leaves the bar after an hour, me and 2 other kids stay and drink until 5:30, the bus was leaving at 6, we had no idea how to get where we needed to we, so we stopped at a liquor store for directions, and vodka. finish the bottle b4 we found the bus, which was waiting for us. i gave frank baseman a high five, when to the back of the bus, sat right in front of Dennis..... then puked in a small brown paper bag, b4 the buss even pulled into traffic. i then passed out and had to be carried off the buss. a week later at a graduation party i puked in front of Trevor to complete my quest to vomit in front of all of the professors who were teaching me that semester.
- paulrand0
My Uncle when he was a really bad alcoholic stood on a balcony and slit his wrists so the blood went all over everyone below. He survived-- no longer drinks.
- tripleflux0
A hotel in Novgorod-crawling on all fours in boxer shorts leaving a trail of puke behind me. An Orthodox priest held a door for me so I could continue my hallway crawl. I said, "thanks pasha".
- unknown0
"I've never had a drink in my life.
No bullshit there."
of course not wouldn't mix too good with anabolica
- sexypixel0
all you people that say 'and i never touched a drop since' after telling a great story of mass adventure, need to rethink your situation. drink is for life, not just for xmas
- sexypixel0
a friend of mine has a bad habbit of urinating/shitting in strange places when he's drunk. 2 christmas's ago we were out on the piss.
he want home, he rang me the next day to tell me he woke up to the sound of his mother screeching, he had taking a shit on the seat next to the phone.another time we were all in galway on the piss, we rented a cottage and were all sitting round the table drinking and telling stories, the same guy came down stairs after earlier going to sleep pissed. he had a plate in his hand and on the plate was a freshly laid crap. he went to the drawer, pulled out a knife and sat down and started cutting it into slices and said "who's for the first slice'
we kicked him out and he had to sleep in the hedge as it was cold outside.
- jevad0
goddam dolan...that's just plain weird!
- ********0
as clunk as a droid
- ********0
one of the so many times..
came home pretty shimmered, hungry, swinged a pizza in the oven, fell asleep on the coach and woke up in a black thick fog (ugh ugh) with a little vulcanised mass what was left of the pizza.
- solmo0
Haha know what was comming but very funny.
- ********0
fell asleep on the toilet - hose down. woke up at eight in the morning nuts frozen to the porcelain.
suffered from a bladderinfection the week after.
stupid.
- rasko40
hahah
- ********0
...anyway I had a few to many and ended up in the toliet speak to god on the big white phone!...
wooha!
thats funny
- Wolfboy0
there was this one time when i got drunk and went and got into a poker game witha load of sailors. i lost all my money and my dad - Tom Bosley - had to come and win it all back. Oh those where happy days... no wait... i mean that was happy days.
shit.
- rasko40
when I was 15 I drank nearly a whole bottle of whisky then when I got home I felt quite hungry so I had a bowl of Bran Flakes, then another, and then another... I woke up the next day with myself and the wall next to the bed covered in dry bran flakes, they were literally welded to my skin.. eeuw.