as drunk as a lord
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- slag_you_off0
the best one I have is...
we used to have a drinking game after rugby, which was to see who could get the highest reading on the breathaliser in the pub we went to.
fucking hammered, left the cab with housemate + 3 others, did a runner, had a fight with said cabby, three got arrested, myself and flatmate didnt, just hid very well.
on the way home decided to steal the plasic santa on the roof of tescos in harrow, which was 15 ft.
got arrested climbing down :)
- slag_you_off0
they are coming back to me now...
I have a really good one with involved 2 argentinan dealers, a german air hostess, and a load of coke.
which ended up with me missing my flight back to blighty, and stealing one of said dealers passports when he tried to grab my arse.
- slag_you_off0
Oh and another which after 1 pound for a tripple shot at leeds student union, me and 12 other mates proceeded to have a fight with the leeds uni bouncers.
arrested again... 3 and counting now
- Dita0
oh and another one:
When my parents went on holiday I had a party (as you do) invited all my friends - plenty of drinking and joints going on!
Well I put on one of my favourite songs and started dancing round the living and then I started spinning (you can tell whats coming!) stop spinning fell over onto the fireplace and smacked my face and my arm. But I was that drunk that I was okay. But I had to put whatever I could find in the freezer on my face and arm to stop the bruising. I have a massive bruise on my arm the following day before I went to work. I worked on a supermarket at the time and the only clean uniform I had left was my short sleeved one - oh dear! *:)
- grayhood0
this past saturday i got drunk at a party left around 3am with a friend and a video camera, we went all around the suburban neighborhood and video taped each other 'humping' all the tacky x-mas lawn ornaments.
- Dita0
LOL -grayhood
pure class!!!!
- slag_you_off0
just yesterday, I
- thosethat0
don't remember the whole thing...
involved bamboo sticks, swordfighting, priceless antique chinese vase, loss of balance...
oh yes...
and breakage...
um...
- Dita0
oh just thought of another!!!
Back in my students days - went clubbing alot to this really cheap shitty club - they drink was cheap so as you can imagine I was absolutely rat-arsed! Anyway got my mates on the dancefloor - dancing away and one of my friends said to me what the hell is that black thing lying on the dancefloor - I looked down and said I didn't know. Carried on dancing away and then I realised that the black thing on the floor was my skirt! bloody hell - I felt like a complete twat!!!! hehehehe!!!
*:)
- dstlb0
Went out on the piss after work in Birmingham one Friday night, got completely hammered then jumped on a train back to Wolverhampton (a particularly dark period of my life), woke up in Shrewsbury 50 miles down the line, got a train back, woke up in Birmingham, got on the last train back to Wolverhampton, woke up in Shrewsbury again. Travelled an impressive total of 150 miles instead of 10. Ended up calling my parent's 0800-PissedSon hotline for rescue.
- Dita0
oh yeah I told my boss from my old work to 'fuck off' at last years xmas party - not good! But I felt better!!!!
- solmo0
Hahaaa good fun. Nice stories.
My friend dropped me at home (dont drive and drink) He allmost passed out near his house so he parked the car and took a small walk.
Next morning mama woke him asking where his car is. Walked outside ina shock trying to find his car. After an hour found him on the parkingplace. Doors open, keys in ignition.
- thosethat0
the headmaster at our old school liked a drink or two...
i remember he gave a mate of mine a lift home in his landrover after a large pub session...
he truly was as drunk as a lord...
next morning there were huge tyre tracks across most of the gardens in the street where the headmaster insisted on dropping him of literally 'right by the door'...
across every garden...
i believe he was sacked for misconduct eventually...
- moth0
My infamous 'friend' Barry;
This is why you should be careful..Basically, he was drunk. Very drunk and one day got in his car to drive home. Decided he didn't want his car anymore and dumped it in a car park with the key in it.
We got a call for help the next day... He'd been arrested on a Hit-and-run charge and told the above story to the Police, who obviously thought he was full of shit and he's still inside.
I, for my part, am inclined to believe that dumping his car is the kind of stupid thing he'd do.
But there you go.
- rasko40
I once tried to steal a Harley Davidson whilst being utterly rendered after someones birthday do, I woke up with this horrible memory of freewheeling a harley down a small hill and then coming to a halt at the bottom and dropping the bike (damn heavy) as two people walked past, there I am swearing and struggling to pick the bike up and now petrol is pouring all over my trainers then someone came out of a hotel and started coming over so I legged it... it was really the smell of petrol on my trainers the next day that made me realise that it was true.
*cringe
- Jnr_Madison0
Got into a fight on a dancefloor because I thought a guy was dancing too close to me.
- Jnr_Madison0
Had about 10 pints of cider when I was 15. Got up in the middle of the night and fell face first onto the cornus on the corner of a wall. The next day when I woke up I could hardly open my eyes and 90% of my face was a kinda blue/purple colour and 3 times it's normal size. People would try and help me across the road and shit, I looked that bad. Everybody thought I had been in a car crash ha ha.
- JazX0
hah aha
- solmo0
felt asleep on empty beach at night with clothes on. Next morning waking up on a beach packed with people staring at me.
- grayhood0
at a bar in NJ i was talked into getting on stage in-between cover band sets to free style rap (poorly). apparently i offended some people in the audience b/c about ten min later on the dance floor a fat ass stepped on my ankle and broke it. i now have a metal plate and six screws as a souvenir.
oh, and i didn't leave the bar right away either, i played a game of pool hopping around on one foot, had a few more drinks, slept at my friends place, drove an hour home the next day using only my left foot, watched a movie, then, finally realizing it wasn't getting any better i got a ride to the hospital.