Joke of the Day
- Started
- Last post
- 677 Responses
- BusterBoy2
I love her even more!
- No preaching the word of the church of celebritism here pleaseset
- does she age, wowhelloeatbreathedrive
- where are her roller skates?PonyBoy
- HijoDMaite5
Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring, looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: What’s wrong with you?”
In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
The big dude says: “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.... I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20″ cock, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy sighs and says: “Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn around!"
- mistermik0
A married couple goes to a marriage counsellor to work out some problems.
The counsellor sits them on the couch and says "For starters, let's talk about something you both have in common." The husband says "Well, neither of us suck dick."
- chukkaphob3
Why did the partially blind man fall down a well?
- GeorgesII3
A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while.
Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.
The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.
They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians.
The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian."
So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. They arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray.
They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians."
There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd . . . "
- oey0
I know how the eastern European dudes are.
yurimon
I can not stop thinking that this is a joke. This must be a joke right?
It's the only reasonable explanation I can find. I know that there's people who actually think in this terms. Like generalizing and stereotyping but I somehow believe that yurimon is more intelligent and just want to provoke and be polemic.- ha... ha?!?kona
- you fucking what now?set
- ^
what?oey - yurimon wrote that part in a note replying to I guess fadein11oey
- yurimon's grammar is like a virus -- it's spreadingGnash
- We we are fuck all doomedset
- no it was for me :) and this was the original post: http://www.qbn.com/r…
*check how he managed to run into a classic trapsted - in the notes of this post:
http://www.qbn.com/r…sted - yuri is googletelligent.sted
- set is a bit over the top today...chill out mate.oey
- ok_not_ok2
- What do you call a good Mexican joke? Carbon.iCanHazQBN
- ¿Qué?happybananas
- noooooobklyndroobeki
- georgesIII4
I was in bed last night with my wife.
She turns to me and says "If you turn the lamp off, I'll take it up the arse."
I should have waited for the bulb to cool down.
- GeorgesII1
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
- georgesIII0
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
- >>georgesIII
- Battle Royale with Cheese.georgesIII
- hahahaarne
- This is amazing hahaIanbolton
- ha!_niko
- lolmoldero
- elahon0
What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common?
- >>elahon
- You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bits.elahon
- hmmm j'ai faimgeorgesIII
- gahscarabin
- i don't know what i was expectingscarabin
- dear god :/Gnash
- http://media0.giphy.…moldero
- i_was0
A Dutch man was taking a flight on a commercial airliner. The airliner had 4 engines, which is quite normal. About an hour into the flight, a loud BOOM occurred.
The flight attendant came over the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have blown an engine, but there is no need to worry. We still have three engines, I repeat, we still have three engines."
Everyone stayed calm.
About another hour later, another boom.
The flight attendant comes over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have blown another engine, but there is no need to worry! We still have two more engines to go!"
The people stayed calm.
An hour later, the same situation. Now only one engine remained.
Then, the Dutch man stood up and said outloud, "Man! Does that mean we get a partial refund for using less engines?"
- Miesfan0
I met both Carl Page and Larry Page at a party hosted by a Stanford friend of mine in 1998. Carl gave me his card for eGroups and said "we're hiring". Larry gave me his card for Google—a flimsy bit of paper obviously printed by bubble jet—and said "we're hiring".
I said, "Nah, who needs another search engine?" and went to graduate school.
I still have the card.- BWAHAHHAHAHHAARamanisky2
- what the... wow.iCanHasQBN
- That's a tall story...right?BusterBoy
- no way is that true!
if so awesome. you idiot! :DHombre_Lobo_2 - not ture. but good try.tymeframe
- Gnash2
Erdogan calls on EU for dialogue, says Turkey’s future in Europe
- kingsteven3
My mother told me I'd never have a car made from spaghetti...
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta
- WhiteFace0
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.
Vet: Is it a tom?
Yorkshireman: Nay, I've browt it with us.- wassup vanilla face?74LEO
- lolhans_glib
- hahahahbigtrickagain
- i had to read that 5 times before I got it. but it made me laugh.capn_ron
- fucking yorkie twatswristtattoo
- janne760
hahahahaha:
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.
She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.