Joke of the Day
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- uncle_helv0
A guy goes into the doctor complaining of a really sore head. The doc takes a look at him and says "Yes, you need to stop masterbating immediately!" the guy says "Why?" and the doc replies "So I can examine you!"
- AhahahahahahItalianStallion
- genius!!!yerolda
- HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAjanne76
- HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAjanne76
- lolCorvo2
- Mallmus0
Can we say really offensive or racist jokes here?
- racist = offensiveHAYZ1LLLA
- yeah, specifically racist then... last time i told one i got into troubleMallmus
- Isn't that a lesson learnt then Mallmus?uncle_helv
- Say whatever you like Mallmus! Freedom of speech and all that :-)
Sandman_1982 - I have a guilty conscience, I will save it until there's a Really Offense Joke of the Day ThreadMallmus
- utopian1
- Annoying and shit in equal amounts.Hayzilla
- ribs are really more of a meal than a snacksarahfailin
- helloeatbreathedrive3
My girl broke up with me saying I'm childish.
So I rang her doorbell and ran away.
- autoflavour-1
Ignore previous
What’s the difference between a dirty bustop and a lobster with breast implants ?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
- MrT3
Why did Sean Connery adopt a cat?
Teaching a dog to sit was too messy.
- helloeatbreathedrive2
Mister Yoda, set a new course.
- coldarchon1
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”
The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”
- scarabin_net3
three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
do you really think that's a coincidence?
- ApeRobot1
- should be in the Useful threadGnash
- she was the best thing on vineautoflavour
- MrT2
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
- utopian0
How does NASA organize a party?
- monoboy2
An Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman try an escape from Colditz. They get as far as the courtyard when they get spotted by a German guard and make a dash for a store room.
The Englishman spots an empty sack and climbs into it. The Scotsman and Irishman follow suit.
Suddenly the door bursts open and a guard walks in.
He bayonets the sack with the Englishman inside. He meows like a cat and the guard says, 'Es ist nur eine Katze' and moves on.
Then he bayonets the sack with the Scotman inside. He shouts woof and the guard says, 'Es ist nur ein Hund' and moves on.
Next he bayonets the sack with the Irishman inside and he shouts potatoes!
- MrT2
Why does Britain love tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
- dijitaq1
What did cinderella said when she got to the ball?
- MrT2
What do Jeremy Clarkson, Whitney and Amy Winehouse have in common?
None of them are doing Top Gear anymore.