Joke of the Day
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- rootlock-2
- GeorgesII-6
A liar, a sexist, and a criminal walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "welcome Senator Clinton, what are you having today?"
5 minutes later Donald Trump walks in. He leans over, and with a smile on his face says "the media are really tearing you apart for that Scandal."
Hillary: "You mean my lying about Benghazi?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "You mean the massive voter fraud?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "You mean the military not getting their votes counted?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "Using my secret private server with classified material to Hide my Activities?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything Else?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, Hiring Cronies, And taking bribes from foreign countries?
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "You mean the drones being operated in our own country without The Benefit of the law?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million, and right afterward it Declared Bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, commodity Deals?"
Trump: "No the other one:"Hillary: "The IRS targeting conservatives?"
Trump: "No the other one:"Hillary: "Turning Libya into chaos?"
Trump: "No the other one:"Hillary: "Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?"
Trump: "No the other one:"Hillary: "Turning our backs on Israel?"
Trump: "No the other one:"Hillary: "The joke Iran Nuke deal? "
Trump: "No the other one:"Hillary: "Leaving Iraq in chaos? "
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "The DOJ spying on the press?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance Executives?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "Giving our cronies in SOLYNDRA $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 Months Later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "The NSA monitoring citizens' ?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "The State Department interfering with an Inspector General Investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "Threats to all of Bill's former mistresses to keep them quiet"
Trump: "No, the other one."Hillary: "I give up! ... Oh wait, I think I've got it! When I stole the White House furniture, silverware and China when Bill left Office?"
Trump: "THAT'S IT! I almost forgot about that one".- You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.
Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie._niko - What about you dad? Fuck you. No dad...cannonball1978
- #DentureDonaldGuyFawkes
- You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.
- monoboy-4
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/U1SiveWVIIo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
- sted-3
- Akagiyama-3
On Sundays I like to open the holy book of Shrek and read my favorite passage...
Psalm: body once told me.
- dkoblesky-3
What did Sean Connery wear in every Bond movie?
A toupee
- rootlock-4
<p>,/“‘DELETE FROM qbn_users WHERE qbn_user_name LIKE ‘%sted%’”/<p>
- yurimon-5
Q. What holiday do socialists celebrate every year to honor the cultural tradition of harvesting souls?
A: Taxgiving
- GeorgesII-5
I was walking down the street in New York when a black man came up to me and asked, "Hey, did the Yankees win?"
I responded, "Yeah dude, you're free!"
- Bindegal-5
- you owe me money for the 2minutes you wasted of mineautoflavour
- georgesIII-7
why is the archeologist sad ? ? ?
..
.
because he can't find his mummy :(
- yurimon-6
Q: How do you calculate a Liberals illogical reactions to facts?
A: Easy you use Triggerednometry
- ShenanigansTV-8
Where do drug dealers story their drugs?
- shapesalad-9
I have two really great best friends... Me and Myself.
- mort_-13
A bar joke is a very common and basic type of joke. The basic syntax of this type of joke is "A man walks into a bar and something happens". The initial perception of the joke is that a man is walking into a bar to have a drink, but this only lasts a few seconds as the punchline is quickly uttered. This joke has gained an incredible amount of variants over the years. It is often used by comedians, and people telling jokes to friends.
The bar joke has a large number of variations. The types of variations include puns or word plays (the man walks into a bar and pulls out something followed by any number of different punchlines; or man with something else walked into a different thing or something), or replace the man with the things, a famous person, people of various occupations, animals (a duck walks into a bar) or inanimate objects (a sandwich or an armchair walks into a bar).
Another major variant involves several men walking into the bar together, often with related professions, such as "a priest, a minister and a rabbi." In effect, this is a merger between the "bar joke" and jokes involving priests, ministers and rabbis (or Buddhist monks, etc.) in other settings. This form has become so well known that it is the subject of at least one joke about the popularity of the joke itself.
- But this isn't funnyMaaku
- Please downvote this if you:
(a) didn't read the second paragraph
(2) are a cuntmort_ - joke walks in to a bar, the bartender asks: can i help you? joke says: i'm good, just waiting for the other bar jokes, perhaps they will be funny.sted
- I'm going to need instructions for that one, Sted. Or maybe less drugs.mort_
- helloeatbreathedrive-11
Get your downvotes ready,
- how do you say 'hello' in chinese?
- 'hello in chinese'.the end.