For a better tomorrow.

  • Beeswax9


    My wife was feeling a bit weird lately so we went to a doctor.
    After a bit of talk he checked her belly.
    AND SHIEEEEETTTTT!!!! There's a baby!
    An extra heart is beating inside my wife.
    I was about to faint when he turned the speakers on.
    9 fucking weeks old!

    We were not expecting this at all. I suggested her to stop taking birth control and I'm sure I said we can use condoms but of course never used it.

    We were both strong defenders of not having a child.
    You know, what is the point?
    The world sucks, humanity is eroding, too much responsibility, there's not even one logical reason to have a baby(except selfish ones) and so on...

    We're both 40 and we will have a baby if everything goes ok.
    I'm so scared.
    Me, as a father, I dunno.
    I can't even take care of myself. Somebody had told me that we would have a big shift in august because of our astro signs(leo and aquarius) but this big!?

    • Congrats? You seem to have your shit together.Greedo
    • oh man tell your point to that mother in Africa who just gave birth to her 8. child. This will change your life for good.sted
    • Congrats whatever lol :Dsted
    • https://media.giphy.…moldero
    • awesome, congrats!
      Best thing in the world.
      scary as fuck but you'll manage.
    • A nice grown up way to approach it!DaveO
    • Congrats, man - add one small human per decent human pairing and you can still make the world a better place.detritus
    • Özgür?oey
    • :Dmonospaced
    • also ... there are countless reasons to have a baby that are not all selfish :/monospaced
    • CONGRATS! Best way of finding out!
      If you feel you shouldn't have because of the world - you should. Means your aware of the world and can teach the next gen...
    • ... how to unfuck up this gens mess!mugwart
    • YO - congrats! shit gets real really fast, once u hear baby cry for the first time. life changing. efficiency on 3-4hrs of sleep is pretty mind blowing actuallyumbee54
    • @mono pls tell me one so I can maybe shake off this weird feeling.Beeswax
    • 1. You can distill the best of you and your partner, your families and the best of your culture, humour, curiosity and love into one singular being.detritus
    • Congrats!!
      Your dick works! :D
    • 2. You get to spend 20 years mind-fucking a human you've created, and no one can give you shit.detritus
    • 3. In 5-12 years you'll have a servant.detritus
    • nice, so human engineering. almost like creating your own AI but not completely artificial.Beeswax
    • ^ there will come a time about 6-7 years from now. When the little one will catch you up and take your hand and smile up to you and call you daddy...mugwart
    • ... any question/feeling you have now will make sense. its odd and its a bit trippy but its the greatest feeling in the world.mugwart
    • "Your dick works! :D"
      Well, someone's dick works...
    • 4. You'll have someone who can work whatever equivalent of VHS video recorders there is in 10 years.detritus
    • You appreciate life and the world more. Gives you new perspective, focus and drive. Plus you get to relive all the cool childhood things_niko
    • Having a child is a selfless act, not selfish. To create a paradigm shift to bring this life that will look to you for guidance, and provide unconditional loveETM
    • is not selfish. And honestly. The world in it's entirety is not worse then ever. Shit always happens, turn off the news more often and your life outlook willETM
    • improve in a very short time. Find the good, not the bad. And be happy that one of the hardest, yet greatest things you can experience may be happening soon.ETM
    • As to the human engineering: my 9 year old is mindfucking me pretty hard these days. He knows all my buttonsGreedo
    • Also, i can see my worst qualities in him, but really have to work on him to get my best qualities out.Greedo
    • They do develop a life of their own rather fast and mercilesslyGreedo
    • https://vignette3.wi…detritus
    • What a sick, warped mind. Selfish to have a baby? You are a Margret Sanger eugenist.Hayoth
    • Congrats, Bees. All will be well :)Gnash
    • "We were not expecting this at all. I suggested her to stop taking birth control" What were you expecting?fooler
    • my wife was 40 with our 2nd (also unexpecting child) I was 43. he's two now and he's amazing and healthy. You're not to old yet.fooler
    • doesn't want children, has unprotected sex regularly -_-monospaced
    • do you like sleeping? LOL.. forget about that nowautoflavour
    • congrats tho..autoflavour
    • hey ETM "... that will look to you for guidance, and provide unconditional love" is as egocentric as reason as it gets. There's nothing wrong with wanting tozarkonite
    • make children but it's fundamentally entirely an ego thing.zarkonite
    • It's not an "ego" thing, it's just the way it is. But you clearly have no kids, and are yet another who try to speak without practical experience, so thanks.ETM
    • I always get a kick out of single friends and family who think they know a single fuck about what it means to raise a family.ETM
    • sounds like your wife took the decision herselfdrgs
    • Haha nice one, tho wtf did you expect having unprotected sex. You're about to undergo the most tremendous life journey, massive highs, deep lows, excitement allhans_glib
    • ... the timehans_glib
    • congrats and what auto said :)fadein11
    • if you dont want it no shame in abortiondeathboy
    • Beeswax, i felt the same as you - can barely look after myself ;). But 5 months ago my wife and I had a baby girl (was planned). Couldn't be happier! ...microkorg
    • .. she makes me cry with laughter every day. She is always super excited to see me after i finish work - her smile is priceless! ...microkorg
    • Yes, it's hard work but it's all WELL worth it. Dirty nappies and sick are a laugh. Just have fun. Enjoy this new life developing in the world. Watch it grow ..microkorg
    • .. into a little person.microkorg
  • sureshot5
    • upvote for pounds in my foreseeable future?pockets
    • Döner Marijuana ?uan
    • +1 uan.

      Looks leafy.
    • Döner Marijuana for everyone!!!!11sureshot
    • hommina-hommina-homm...locustsloth
    • congratulations!CALLES
    • i need a solution to my döner problem.sted
  • imbecile3
  • sarahfailin4
  • pockets5
    • Always, and forever.detritus
    • I don't think I will ever get bored of this gif.fadein11
  • sureshot9
  • sureshot2
    • 66C pleaseutopian
    • Depends on the cut and cooking process. Shirt steak, grilled: almost raw.maquito
    • Somewhere between '49°C' and Na Chapa, please. '85°C' makes me want to weep - what a waste.detritus
    • A friend spent a few months in Argentina and was horrified to report that they overcook all their beef over there - and she's not particulary a carnivoredetritus
    • Uruguayans are the best cooks of the Arg meat... master bbqersOBBTKN
    • I spent time in Argentina and none of the meat we ate was overcooked. Always medium or lower.monospaced
    • That's what I don't get - my Dad's friends with an Argentinian who owns one of the best steak houses in the south of Spain and it's all rare, all the time.detritus
    • Friend was out in Patagonia - maybe it's a hick thing?detritus
    • need to have this scale in carrots!mugwart
    • in = formugwart
    • detrius:
      I'm from Argentina and your friend most likely went to tourist spots where they prepare food like tourists would feel like home.
    • The kind of places where people eat empanadas with fork and knife or with a side of chimi churri, or where they call futbol "soccer".Miguex
    • I'm sorry he/she had a bad experience and even more sorry she thinks that's how everyone eats there, which is the opposite of how it really is. Oh well! :(Miguex
    • It's the equivalent of me going back home and telling everyone that the tacos in mexican food are made with Doritos pretty much hahahaMiguex
    • Sure, maybe. She's not a tourist moron though, she speaks Spanish, and spent time with an Argentinian friend before coursing her own trail.detritus
    • That doesn't really mean much, does it?detritus
    • 49PLZBrokenHD
    • My sister in law is Argentinian and her family murders every piece of meat they serve us, I dread eating there because of that. Miguex, Argentina did notzarkonite
    • acquire that rep out of nowhere.zarkonite
    • Hello :) if you ever near Uruguay text me. Then, we may speak about ANYthing related to meat. Cheers!maquito
    • somewhere between 54° and 60°PonyBoy
    • lol @ commentssureshot
  • sted7
  • nbq6
    • lolpinkfloyd
    • i don't get itsarahfailin
    • her hair-covered shoulder looks like a glass of peenusGreedo
    • oh i thought it was actually a glass of penis! ha!sarahfailin
    • ^ You wouldn't have if you knew who the Chuckle Brothers were!Hayzilla
    • a glass of penis is common for sarah apparentlypinkfloyd
    • so refreshing!sarahfailin
    • at first I thought she had a dick coming out of her glass. dick on the rocks. or cocks on the rocks...oey
    • To me ... to you .. to me ...mugwart
    • really? There's nothing noteworthy about this picture. You all watch too much porn.twentyfive
  • Hayzilla9
    • +scruffics
    • How dare you post a picture of me on the interwebz!hans_glib
    • PICKLE RICK BITCHES!!!!!sofakingback
    • Great Scott!!!spunji
    • Because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important. And they'll tear us apart, Morty. But if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish..garbage
    • great things, Morty. And you're gonna be a part of 'em. And together we're gonna run around, Morty, we're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things.garbage
    • (Nice shot, btw)garbage
    • Einstein?sureshot
    • I see John Carpenter!mugwart
    • 9am whetherspoons fry up and bottle of red for £1.50set
    • This is great. What's your Flickr username? I haven't been here in a while.MrOneHundred
    • Thanks chaps…
  • baseline_shift3

    Show some recent work

    The making of live stream.

  • fourth7


    I met a girl. Friend of a friend of a friend. First time I've connected with anyone in a really long time. Both introverts. Seemed to hit it off and had a lot in common. couldn't stop talking to one another and we planned a art night this week to get together and do some calligraphy together.

    Now I'm all up in my own head because I've been here before so many times in my 34 years of living. I'm not sure if she's interested at all because she's really fucking pretty. She said we were going to become "new besties". Not the worst thing but you know. Our mutual friends have been ominously quiet and I can tell they're watching real closely. I can't tell if they know something I don't know?

    wish me luck

    • just make sure your penis ready to go for calligraphy night.capn_ron
    • oh dear lord! i forgot a very important space. pen (insert space) is. carry on.capn_ron
    • its called a nibfourth
    • I'm sure your mutual friends have all said 'may the fourth be with you'. I know, I'm funny. Good luck man. Go with it. xIanbolton
    • lol ronscarabin
    • Your friends probably set you up.pango
    • Great news about meeting this girl. Let her know early that you don't just find her interesting that you find her very attractive too....microkorg
    • ... you don't want to end up 'just friends'.microkorg
    • I see the friendzone in the distance.robthelad
    • If you want to fuck her, but you are not trying, I have identified why you keep getting "here" but no further.imbecile
    • "New besties" run, brother!mekk
    • yeah that "new besties" comment seems like a red flag. Find out fast. All the best.HAMT
    • Calligraphy and Chill™microkorg
    • "new besties" could go either way. No way to know if she's down, but to go for it. Do some "Ghost" moves behind her with the pen.section_014
    • Watch her reactions. Is she flirty, twirling her hair, responding well to suggestions of oral sex, etc.CyBrainX
    • Microkorg is right, you're going to need to show sexual interest off the bat. And make sure a touch her a bit as you talk...robotron3k
    • LOL@ ron and CyBrainBennn
    • lol @ cybrainfadein11
    • This is a quality thread.garbage
    • Just don't be afraid. Of anything.
      Have courage.
    • New besties was strange but kinda cute thosince1979
    • Just do what all us awkard Brits do - get drunk with her one night and allow yourselves to make a terrible mistake either way...detritus
    • new besties. start that way - and then don't be too accessible... let her miss you a bit.umbee54
    • be honest. If you like her tell her this means a lot to you and you want to be more than 'besties'.mugwart
    • if it goes tits up (hope it wont) you will have something. if not .. well its better than pretending your just friends.mugwart
    • Bring her flowers.monNom
    • You may be friend zoned, but make your intentions clear soon and don't keep hanging out with her if she just wants to be friends. Unless you're completely OKJaline
    • ...with that and aren't planning on pursuing her forever. That can lead to issues. Hopefully it goes well though! I can relate to you.Jaline
    • If this one doesn't work out, you'll find someone else who loves spending time with you and vice-versa :)Jaline
    • good luck to you sirpockets
    • yeah, flowers... but have them delivered to her home, which you hopefully don't have an address for yet, but will soon. This proactive behavior will entice her.imbecile
    • Coming from a woman, disclosing all that on the web is not only weak, it's a lack of discretion. It's not luck you need, look up integrity.BustySaintClaire
    • time to do some manscapingCALLES
    • damn it I love you guys. thank you for the helpful, hilarious, and feel good responses. you don't know how much it meansfourth
    • LOL BustySaintClaire what did he even disclose? Talking casually about a new relationship isn't "weak". You also need to look up integrity in the dictionarytwentyfive
    • tell her you have a new calligraphy nib that only works on skin. specifically, the inside of the thigh.Greedo
    • top ten worst places to have a conversation about anything personal or emotiunalDaveO
    • Penis mightier than a word.pango
    • @BustSaintClaire (great name btw) this is sort of most of our homes! Where else can we dump our fucked up like to over weirdos and somehow get sound advice?mugwart
    • +1 Mugwart. You have a great way of responding to contentious subjects in highly amenable terms, I've noticed.detritus
    • Me, as often I wrote my response, read it back to myself and deleted it.detritus
    • Also do you only want the fucking idiots of the world to breed and proliferate? This is why we're in the mess we're in, our best and brightest can't be bothered_niko
    • ;)_niko
    • thanks detritus!mugwart
  • imbecile0
    • it's a mazeimbecile
    • 8192x8192. if each pixel were a meter, that'd be 67,109 kilometers of maze. about 1.5 times around the earth.sarahfailin
    • -ing.detritus
    • I solved it. Wasn't sure it was gonna be solvable.…Nanocephalic
    • literally took 10 minutes to solve. All the wrong turns are so close to the correct line so they're obvious. Also, basically just goes in one direction.GM278
    • I was staring to it for 10 min trying to see 3D hidden imagezaq
    • damn i just finished solving this and there are already 2 ppl who made it lolsted
    • i see a boatOP31
  • uan1
    • Germans.sureshot
    • "Trump makes partying great again"uan
    • sureshot it's actually made in Netherlands :)sted
    • But was found in an Austrian car.

      Europe, what a mess :)
    • My Dutch friends are very innovative!!!sureshot
    • Looks like actual Cheetohs dust lolturnerworks
    • had Obama acid once.. no way I would take thisautoflavour
  • helloeatbreathedrive2

    best on Netflix streaming?

    maybe tl but 'what happened to monday' or 'seven sisters' in other continents was good imo. rapace is as always great.

    • at some parts it was like she is talking to herself If you survive these you can enjoy a really nice sci-fi. however i didn't got that end speech by Caymansted
    • yep not perfect, but enjoyed it. i hope rapace can get some more big budget projects, very talented girl.helloeatbreathedrive
    • I fancy Rapace!mugwart
  • detritus1


    My partner's just excitedly emailled me about some 'secret candlelit 20s style speakeasy club' and from the tone, evidently really really wants to go.

    Personally, I can't think of any thing more dreadful and have a good idea of the sort of middling imaginationless bore who goes to such things. Indeed, I'm scrolling through the site's gallery and... oop! "I know that girl".

    She's a middling imaginationless bore from my hometown 25-odd years ago.

    It's just fancy dress for dull prats. i don't get it. And I know she doesn't either - she's always as bemused by the English obsession with shit fancy dress as I am.

    Fucking hell.

    And I'd need to buy some wank 20-style bullshit suit too.


    • If I do have to go, I might just rent a zoot suit and ruin things for everybody.detritus
    • Like a garish one, I mean.…
    • or go as a 20s cop and billy club everyone over their head because prohibitionkona
    • take some opium along to spice the night up a bit and add even more era realismmicrokorg
    • haha both, or a Klan member, see how that shit would go down...detritus
    • ..or are the Klan more of a 50s-era thing?detritus
    • you don't have to buy a suit just a suspender and a bow tie, maybe a striped pants, pick a lame shirt and it's done.sted
    • jeans overalls, a train engineers hat and an old fashioned oil can and ask if you can turn everyone's engine overGreedo
  • utopian4

    solar eclipse

    NASA photos of the flat earth

    • pretty flat. slight curve is due to wide lens of the camera.Beeswax
    • lol these are so fake :Dsted
    • Ha ha ha they made the sun and the moon are the same size. Idiotz. Fake Views.Morning_star
    • you guys are all hilariousset
    • And yet people keep trying with their phones.CyBrainX
    • I don't get it. The sun and moon are flat and vertical, yet the earth is flat and horizontal to them? How did that happen?kona
    • shopped the hell outta this photographsureshot
    • time to do some manscapingCALLES
    • Renders by A4size-ska from Japan, like 5 years agoBustySaintClaire
  • Bindegal0
  • stoplying11


    It was my birthday last Friday and I was flying home from Houston - flight delayed 4 hours. My wife and boys said they would pick me up at the airport and my 4 year old son had a balloon for me.

    From there, we headed to a sushi restaurant about 45 mins away, and my son opened his car window and POOF, the balloon was violently ripped off his wrist and sucked out of the car. Inconsolable hysterics ensued. For 20 minutes.

    So we go to a Toys R Us store to get a replacement balloon - he was that upset.

    Go to sushi joint, they bring us to our table, we're figuring out who is going to sit where and POOF - a ceiling fan gets our second balloon.

    A young couple next to us was just leaving as we sat down and saw the balloon pop. 10 minutes later they come back with a new balloon for my son. All was right in the universe again.

    People can be really good sometimes.

    • lesson learned and reinforced: throw tantrum to get what you want, over and over again :)monospaced
    • lovely story :)fadein11
    • :)sted
    • Over a fucking balloon? You give in like that? :) My parents would haven't even got me the balloon as it would be deemed an 'unnecessary expense' by Dad. hehePonyBoy
    • balloon!!imbecile
    • They all floatdyspl
    • apparently PonyBoy has no idea what a balloons means to ussted
    • The balloon was for me, but my son felt so bad that he lost MY balloon, he was crushed.stoplying
    • Oh!monospaced
    • haha! Now I want a balloon :(PonyBoy
    • Now I feel bad.monospaced
    • no you don't... if I had a balloon you'd be the first to pop it, mono... admit it!! :DPonyBoy
    • lol @monoBennn
    • Happy birthday BTW!mugwart
    • and you didn't tell us?!?!?!pango
    • ^ isnt it uncool to tell people your birthday?mugwart
    • people are usually jerks..but occasionally they aren't.. I like this storyautoflavour
    • nice story but I r3ckon life is still fucked lolsureshot
    • No not really. How else would anyone know your birthday?pango
    • http://www.awarepare…ApeRobot
    • ^
      point pango! Well it was my BDay as well as stoplying!
    • HBD!!pango
  • sted2

    Punches For:

    Karlie Kloss

    • I have really dark thoughtssted
    • After white rhino racing and Bengal tiger tennis, punching leggy models is my third favourite sport.face_melter
    • punches for WiXpockets
    • < lolVectorMasked