Dad Advice Thread
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- 75 Responses
- skwiotsmith1
Dad's to be—a couple of thoughts for you...
My wife & I just had our first. My wife read a number of books, two of which are definitely worth reading: Mindful Birthing & HypnoBirthing. Did she follow everything to the t? No, but the breathing & meditation techniques alone are worth their weight in gold. Yes, there was pain involved, but she also was calm.
Hire a doula. Yeah, we would have made it through without one, but having that support person there was crucial to us, and it would have been a very different experience (not necessarily for the better)...
- Or just be tight with your wife and roll with the punches.BonSeff
- @Bon, I agree. We didn’t do anything like what skwiot did, and all was good. We found having help AFTER the baby was born was most helpful.monospaced
- Yeah, I can understand what you're saying. For me personally, both were extremely helpful. We were 100% in this together, but having these resources made...skwiotsmith
- a huge difference for us. Probably the most important thing I realized is—like every baby—every birth is different. Our's was a crazy whirlwind.skwiotsmith
- Everything was cool in the end though :) And thankfully both our families are able to help now that Lilia's here!skwiotsmith
- I like the name! I have a Lily and a Lydia.BonSeff
- Our birth was nuts and it was the 2 of us with nurses who wandered in and out over the 20 hour span to make sure she was ok. It was unreal, but totally doable.mantrakid
- We had a doula as well who taught us plenty of proactive calming techniques that came in handy and made the process much smoother.ben_
- zaq5
- sausages3
when your kid gets wind in the first few months and cant sleep you can lie them on their back and gently push their legs up and down to pump the farts out (don't worry they're really flexible - we could practically fold them in half). They relax straight away and you'll get some sleep. Everyone I've taught the method too thanks me bigtime.
- ideaist1
It appears my eldest son has ADHD.
I was pretty active when young, BUT never diagnosed.
A bit let down, a bit scared, etc.
Anyone have experience with anything like this?
I know it's NOT uncommon AND I know if it can help him focus, learn, etc. it should be on the table, BBBUUUTTT it's still a bit much too handle on top of the rest of life.
- I'm also dealing with some anxiety / depression issue(s) as well.
This feels like negative icing on the negative cake.ideaist - Is not serious - you either focus for hours on something, or not at all, on anything you like. But you can!t plan anything, total mess. And he might be geniusgrafician
- my oldest has A.S.S. its different but in some things similar. Situations can veer out of control FAST.tank02
- Also thank God he is not bipolar, that's would've been really serious.grafician
- mail me at bart@coffeeklatch.be for longer views. qbn notes is not goodtank02
- (funny thing, I suspect a few here have ADHD by the way they hang out and post)grafician
- My 15yr old son was diagnosed with ADHD recently too. We were wary of meds but they are really helping him with school.mort_
- It’s a tough road though. His personality traits can require a lot of patience on our end, which isn’t always in great supply.mort_
- I'm also dealing with some anxiety / depression issue(s) as well.
- trooperbill0
anyone got any ideas for a home schooling regime? ive a 4 yr old preschooler and dont want it all to be play time. goal is to get him to start reading and adding up i suppose.
- Play IS learning at that age.Morning_star
- Play!Gnash
- Look up some Montessori activities, but it's healthy to be playing all the time at this age. Good luck, it's tiring.ben_
- The Bob books series are great for this age. If they can sound out simple letters and words then it's a perfect onramp to reading.mathinc
- Morning_star is right, focus on good play is critical. For reading, simply read to them A LOT. During each meal, during breaks, at nap and bed time. Always.monospaced
- My son isn't even 4 yet and the library is like disneyland for him. Books are like candy when bargaining. He's the most advanced in his class for language now.monospaced
- Krassy1
Is there a smartwatch you would recommend?
Needs:
- texting
- calling
- GPSThanks!
- ...for kids :)Krassy
- and I would rather solicit personal experiences/recommen... on here than Googling :)Krassy
- What age range? We have a watch that does that. It's called the Gizmo from Verizon. $5 a month.lemmy_k
- 5 to 12Krassy
- I'll take a look at Gizmo! TnxKrassy
- Nomonospaced
- @mono ?Krassy
- Apple Watch.
There aren't "options".ideaist - Don't skimp on your lineage,
Just kidding / FUCK it's hard to justify purchases for ME, let alone my GDMF son(s).ideaist
- maquito2
My 9 month old usually goes to bed around 8pm. Since it’s Saturday, wife and I planned some netflix and chill with some beers and a fresh bud rolled. We were counting on the little buddy sleeping by 8:30. The turnaround: Wife and I spent 2 and a half hours trying to make our little buddy fall asleep. In the middle, he even woke up laughing. Wife stayed in bed with the baby sleeping by her side, and I’m in the kitchen writing this, asking myself if I should chug a beer and smoke some weed or go to bed. Peace!
- tank020
Respons to err:
No need to freak out man, my son is 4 months old and everything sorts itself out. Parenthood is great (I had some freak out issues too when he wasn't born)
I run a business together with my wife so we had also some trouble with work. But those first months, in general, daycare is not option I think. Kids just to young. My son starts daycare in september. 4 days a week.
But here (Antwerp) we have some supergood options by the city. Check out his daycare:
- I'm super excited about our daycare, but I'm still jealous of this. That, and just generally speaking how Europe handles ma/paternity leave & care.skwiotsmith
- Well, i'm self employed so i didn't even got one day off. But for the rest, yeah all is taken care of in excellent way. I really don't get why a portion of ...tank02
- ... Americans are against this.tank02
- Against what? Daycare? Daycare is a huge business in the US.Hayoth
- Welp that was 8 months ago I now have a 3.5 month old. And you were right! It worked itself out. (with a lot of prep) He's going to daycare next door to us!err
- @hayoth, he meant mat/pat leave. Americans don't seem to get much if any on average.ben_
- err1
This is the best QBN thread ever! My gf is 20 weeks pregnant and we are both calmly freaking out.
Anyone got any advice for doing daycare in Brooklyn while having a job? We have demanding jobs and get out of work at 6-7pm how do ppl do this?
- Option 1: Someone else raises your kids. (Nanny/Family)
Option 2: One of the parents sacrifices career progression to stay home moreStatic_Line - https://www.youtube.…ok_not_ok
- I opted to stay home from work and we cut back a ton of stuff. It was way harder than working but we felt the point of having kids was to raise them, not have..lemmy_k
- someone else do it for us.lemmy_k
- Congrats!instrmntl
- Option 1: Someone else raises your kids. (Nanny/Family)
- dbloc5
Missed opportunity to name the thread Dadvice
- zaq4
- zaq5
- stoplying1
To each his own, I hope goes without saying
Be careful with whatever rules or parameters you devise for screen time (phone, tablet, tv, etc) It's really easy to just hand over an ipad when they fuss, but just know what kind of expectations that sets for them.
- parenting is hard work. hard work week + instantly need to be there for them.
Its hard to inforce this. So I inforce certain programs/software.mugwart - get good 'qualtiy' games that have some brain power to them etcmugwart
- for my two boys (10 & 8 years old) they earn screen time via reading. 1 minute reading = 2 minutes screen time. max 1 hour a day screen time.Bluejam
- ^ ooohhhhmugwart
- ive been trying to get my kid to code in minecraft. he can play for hour or two if he does 30mins-1hour of codingmugwart
- My buddy makes his 9 year old son do push ups and clean his room in exchange for screen time.stoplying
- lolnotype
- parenting is hard work. hard work week + instantly need to be there for them.
- mugwart2
I didnt rush my kid into potty training. I left the potty out and we let him find it. After he did it once he never went back! He's never wet the bed and never had any 'accidents'... wish this applied to his old man!!
- Mattjanz3n2
3 day potty training (daughter) works. I was a little worried about this potty training thing and very skeptical of the 3day method. I can say now those 3 days were 2 weeks ago and it worked.
Can't say if it works for all kids or boys as well as my daughter and a few friends with girls. Good luck dads, keep your head up!
- is there a reference for this. my 21 month old is due to start at some point soontrooperbill
- link?microkorg
- A friend sent us the ebook which I can't find now, but if you look up "3 day potty training method", there are plenty of variations. Good luck!Mattjanz3n
- bulletfactory5
It was a cheesy line in a movie, I think, but true imo...
90% of the job is just showing up.
Be involved. Be there.
- dbloc1
Twin boys are due in a week. What am I in for? I already have a 2 1/2 year old girl.
- ooooofpango
- They will play together and have their own language. They will keep each other company and demand less of your attention.monospaced
- They can share a big crib and will share everything. They will use each other for comfort and their cuteness will be doubled. Enjoy.monospaced
- Your daughter will adore them and be their inspiration.monospaced
- Get them on a strict schedule and you'll do fine. We used "babywise" for our twin girls. Everything was manageable. Can't imagine the chaos without a schedule.monNom
- Also, 'babyled weening' around 6mo was a great decision. Teaches them to feed themselves. We haven't held a spoon since we started.monNom