Marriage.
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- pauli0
Thirdly, GET A MUTHAFUCKIN JOB! No WOMAN ABSOLUTELY NO WOMAN IS GOING TO RESPECT A MAN WHO STAYS AT HOME! IVE SEEN IT A HUNDRED TIMES ! FORGET THE STUPID SHIT ABOUT THE KIDS IN DAYCARE! THAT BULLSHIT EXCUSES!
- pauli0
YOU HAVE PLACED YOUR SELF IN A MOTHR/CHILD PARADIGM WHERE YOUR WIFE SEE'S YOU AS HER CHILD AND SHE'S YOUR CARE TAKER! SHE IS ABSOLUTELY GOING TO LOSE RESPECT FOR YOU! NOT SOME OF THE TIME, BUT ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT OF THE TIME.
- pauli0
Fourthly, GET A FUCKIN JOB! Can you imagine her dealing with bigwigs all day long men who come to work dressed sharp, clean, cool, and in control, then having to come home to a man in his pajamas who "STARES AT THE WALLS ALL DAY?!!" Are you kidding me?
- pauli0
The Fifth thing you have to do is realize that this is YOUR FAULT! This has nothing to do with the Woman in front of you. You have created this enigma due to your unwillingness to educate yourself about women! Your have taken Women for granted, and now you are paying dearly for it!
- pauli0
Fuck what all the people in society have told you, Women want to be lead! You have to be the leader in every aspect of your relationship. You have to call every single shot. Even when it seems trivial and childish. If your wife says meet me at 5 am, you say, no 5:30! A woman's number one desire in life is to feel secure, and leadership is one way of establishing that security.
- pauli0
Lastly, you are not what you think you are, you are what you think you are.
- ali0
I agree women like a man to lead (not to be mistaken for 'control or suppress') but I don't see a reason why a man can't take on a leadership role in the household bringing up the kids.
A good leader is someone who has integrity, knows how to delegate, solve problems, bring out the best in people and motivate them, listen, learn and understand, reach goals and plan. You don't have to be the bread winner to have those skills.
- Boz0
from a lot of noise Pauli created I think he/she has touched a few important topics.
I can't say I disagree with a lot of the things he/she said..
Btw, trying to to sound more sensitive and trying not to make you paranoid but when a woman just doesn't love her partner anymore and you have this awful atmosphere where you fight as you wake up, she is most likely involved with someone else and now the more she sees you, staying home, no prospect in career, she sees you as a baggage in her life, especially since she's now in love or in lust with someone else.
A woman, no matter how suffocating her relationship is, will in effect, if she's alone and completely in that relationship, give her 100% to try to make it work. When they don't and it feels they just hate you, it's most likely not repairable and she's seeing or looking for someone else.
The fact that you are so young doesn't help. Your natural desires to bang other people, to experience diversity in love, fun is kicking in.. especially for a woman (considering woman young as her is eager to still have a career to have fun, to have someone she will follow). This is not weird btw, it's just that you made a huge mistake having kids so young.
This is why you don't have kids when you are in your 20s. You live your life when you are in your 20s and even 30s. You married when you've had your fun, you have achieved what you wanted in life and now it's time to take your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to another level and are ready to fully sacrifice your life for kids. Because that's what marriage really is. A union of 2 people who sacrifice pretty much everything to see their offspring grow and prosper, selfishly.
Unfortunately for you Joe and I"m really sympathetic with your situation is that you can't save this one.. You can either cut it off and make yourself happy, try to give your kids everything, get a job, see other people.. it might actually be, in fact, as many have suggested, the best thing that happened to you.
- jimbojones0
this is sad.
you say you would like to work but don't because of the kids, is the daycare really that bad in the US? regardless, having a defunct family won't help either, so maybe you could at least try to put the kids to daycare for a year, or maybe 6 months; find a job, feel yourself like a man again and then see what happens?
- BusterBoy0
I'd tune out of this thread for starters. You need a consistent message.
- Sneakybadger20
Sorry to hear that mate!
Ending mine now so know what you are going through, never again!
Good luck man, i know it doesn't feel that way now but you will be happier in the long run!
- OSFA0
OK, just checked your blog and I gotta say something.
YOU MUST! Stop the self-blame and putting yourself down. This is part of the problem. You don't love yourself enough. I know right now, she has not helped on that department and has made you feel like crap, but you cannot continue to put yourself down and let her walk all over you. You need to get back n your feet and be the man you know you are and the man every woman needs. You want to fix things? Start by working on YOU.
Yes, everyone talks about feelings and love, etc. but women need a man they can look up to and respect. If they don't respect you, you have lost half of the battle man. It's not about looks or money, it's mostly about your confidence, self-control. how you treat yourself, how others see you, how you walk into a room.... trust me on this... any woman (altho they might not want to admit it) seeks for these qualities on a man. If things don't work out and it's too late, think about this for future relationships.
I've been married for 10 years already and I can honestly say I am happy. I'm not bragging, but I want to show you and other friends here, that marriage is what YOU make of it. Yes, we've had our problems, but we've realized they are nothing compared to what we have and what made us take the plunge. We respect and trust each other and this has truly helped us over the years. We work as a team, altho sometimes she does more :s, but we both put in the same amount of effort, without forgetting who we are and working on our own pros and cons.
Don't judge things based on statistics. They're just numbers. Concentrate on YOUR situation and make the best of it. If you think there's a chance, go for it and fight for what you think is right. BUT, if you see she's completely done, don't extend your agony. This will only make her hate you in the longrun. If it's too late (which I am sorry to say, but in this case seems like it is) work on yourself. Go for a ride, or a walk and start a new chapter. Forget about those negative and pity thoughts, you are a fuckin' man and need to grab your balls and walk tall. (not literally)
Get a job, ask for help from family and friends with the kids, start saving some money and thinking of what's coming. You have kids, so start planning what you're going to fight for. Visit attorneys and get an idea of where you stand. You MUST get a job if you are expecting to fight for custody or time with your kids. And when the moment comes, be a strong and confident man. The judge will perceive your pride, and she will see you for who you really are.
OK, I don't bore you guys anymore...
- OSFA0
So, what's going on?
- maquito0
TLDN
- autoflavour0
Hey Pauli, you know you can just put all that in 1 post..
- ********0
1. Get a lawyer ASAP.
2. Get a wingman.
3. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.
4. ???
5. Profit.
- SteveJobs0
deawey bewoved
- nthkl0
Sorry to hear Joe. It's hard right now, everything sucks, but I promise it gets better. I was married at 21 with a boy on the way. We got divorced in 2004. It was a hard transition period.
Started digging into agency work, cycling, running, snowboarding, being with the kid. Then started dating 3 years later.
Now have moved on and am still friends with the mother... But have my own independent lifestyle.
Keep your chin up.
