folio copy critique
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- n0rty1
as a designer / AD type i've written descriptions for the design work in my folio. i'm putting it out here to check with any copywriters or any cunning linguists to critique when you've got a second.
- ukit0
"The intuitive add to cart navigation will keep you clicking and ordering in no time!"
I think you can be a little less markety and more straightforward. You are presenting your work here, not trying to sell product. Just say what it is, and usually that will do the trick.
- yes it sounds really sales. i got carried away there. thanks maten0rty1
- Vicentvangogh0
Right off the bat, too much copy and its to small to read.
- Sketchy0
Just wondering, why is your site with a .au extension, but your contacts are overseas? Do you have a local contact that you could use?
- allysin0
Under "Nylon Studios" - a comma between "pure clean"? Very nit-picky, I know, but it just caught me up. I am continuing to read for content.
- allysin0
Under Left Ear Mystery the last sentence is a little wordy. Maybe, "The ambience of the site was created with drawings and music from the film." Just a little more to the point. Totally up to you... just my 2 cents.
- VectorMasked0
Honestly... up the size in each header. 1 or 2 pixels.
Needs more contrast between small and larger text.What's with the hyphen in the write up for August & Pemberton?
Dashes exist ;o)Again... you are using a hyphen in "Jam Music
The Club Club - Chinese Laundry"
Make that an en or em dash. Whatever looks better for ya.
- allysin0
I agree the point size needs to be bigger. I am squinting at the screen like an old lady. Content seems fine, but could maybe use some commas and teensie tweaks. This is probably pickier than you wanted, but just in case it is helpful:
"Refill 7 uses this website as a springboard to display and offer laser etched skateboards for skateboard collectors and investors alike." -- I would lose the second "skateboard" and just say "collectors and investors..."
With a clean layout influenced by swiss graphic design (insert comma) this flash site presents the unique work of August & Pemberton
Looking (to) refresh to their fairly static website(comma) eduk8u needed to implement a website design that offered what is ordinarily mundane content into an interesting and simple presentation.
Sydney's premier music label (comma)Jam Music(comma) spread the Christmas cheer with a flash card.
- VectorMasked0
Location - Brooklyn, New York
a dash man! an em dash! or en at least of the em is too long for ya.Rollover thumbnails for a preview.
Why would have a period in here?Tequila\Digital Sydney
Bye bye to the Solidus. No visual harmony here ;o) make it a regular slash... no?In the title of your document you have this:
The Level. Design. Interactive. Play
Why no period after the word ‘play’?You are capitalizing every word in the bulleted points at the top.
Why aren't you also capitalizing the firdst letter of the words ‘banner’, ‘advertising’ and ‘animation’? Don't think they are less important than the rest to not deserve capitalization.Under ‘Chandelierium’ you are not capitalizing ‘CSS’ nor ‘XML’, but yet, in another project you are capitalizing ‘CMS’ and the top of your site you have ‘CSS’ and ‘HTML’ capitalized.
- thanks man. for what it is, I think the copy is as tight as it can be with these copy tweaksn0rty1
- OhYeah0
IMO, I think you should get rid of the thumbnails and replace them with a large image and then drop the text next to the image, that way looking more like a portfolio. At the moment I feel that your site looks more like a link gallery.
- +1 about getting a .com or something international.OhYeah
- trooperbill0
aliasing sux on win xp / ff :(
- hawkwah0
1. The kerning, leading and aliasing on the 'logo' images is awful...why jaggy edges if you're using images?
2. I would dump nearly ALL the copy and just have a grid of square images. Use something like lightbox to view a larger version or link to site. This is a single page portfolio that could be scanned really ease if there wasn't all that annoying filler copy.
3. You dont need to say 'welcom to...' I am already in you site...drop it.
4. 'Select list' - why bother...actually this can sound confusing...(I read it as select FROM list and expected a list of links.)
5. The rollover preview doesnt work....and you shouldnt really have to explain how to work a rollover - especially as this site will be aimed at ceatives like yourself (right?)- Cheers for these points.
From the few interviews I've been to, I've asked for folio feedback. Articulating with site descriptions was a main concern for me being interested in Interactive AD roles who is new to the area (an unknown) and they thought having these might help.n0rty1
- Cheers for these points.