Random Crazy Stories
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- ********0
my friend took too much Viagra one time, he would just take it for the hell of it. Anyways the next morning after the party we come downstairs to find him naked on the couch passed out with a ham sandwich in his hand still at full mast. He took the pills 8 hrs earlier.
Funny thing , his dad was sitting in the chair in the corner with a look of disbelief. Looks at us and just asks "what's wrong with my boy?"
- CALLES0
hahah morilla! the ham sandwich is hillarious. did you explain to the dad that he's son is probably on exctacy and coke and need to do viagra to have sexc?
- ********0
Hahaha, i was in tears.
Turns out, he got bored then watched porn for 3 hours drinking beer till 6AM then got hungry and passed out still naked with his snack in hand and rod in the other.
- CALLES0
haha
- spendogg0
porn + viagra + ham sammich x dad going wtf = hilarious
- elahon0
When I was in grade school I sat with my best friend on the bus, and all of the dumbass rednecks sat in the back throwing paper at us and shit. Well my friend had a knack for being able to get a nice thick milky spit going and lean forward and, almost like a yo-yo, let a nice log string drip out, and suck it back up. When he was standing up, he could get the string to be like 2 feet long before sucking it back up. Well, one day as we are pulling into school and the doors open, I stand up to get out of the way and my friend lets loose a nice thick string of spit, about a foot and a half long, and whips his head back and this thick ass ropy jizm-like string of spit flies back and gets 3 assholes across the faces. Well, we book ass off of the bus and eventually got our asses pounded for it later that day. But man it was worth it.
On a side note, one time this same kid saved his spit in his mouth for the entire 40 min. bus ride. By the time we got to school he looked like Dizzy Gillespie (http://growabrain.typepad.com/p... He stepped off of the bus leaned over and spit out what looked like a pint of spit. That spot on the concrete was still there later that day. SOOOOO much spit.
- elahon0
Shit, this was spit kid with his mouth full:
http://growabrain.t ypepad.com/photos/un categorized/dizzy.jpg
- elahon0
Ah, fuck it.
- Sickman0
my girlfriend and I woke up one night to hear the dude in the bachelor suite next door arguing with 3 other guys about how much they just tipped the hooker.
how much do you tip a hooker?
after much screaming and yelling one of them determined that dave (my neighbor) tipped the prostitute way too much and he should share his crack with everyone.
girlfriend and i are still in bed and only half awake.
then one of them starts screaming "HES GOT A GUN" over and over again.
after a lot more screaming and yelling they clear out of the suite and hide outside behind my girlfriends car. while screaming "WE WANT OUR CRACK DAVE!"
after about 15mins one of them hiding behind my girlfriends car (who wasn't wearing shoes) throws a brick through Daves window.
i had enough. it was late. i was tired and had to work in the morning. put on some pants and grabbed my million candle flash light. and went outside onto the back landing area which was 10 feet above my girlfriends car.
shined the light on them and yelled "FREEZE!!!!"
they were gone like roaches
- Milan0
Back in grade 3 or 4, me and two friends were hanging out in front of my apartment building. We were pretty bored, so I get the bright idea we play a trick on someone...
I suggest we all take a piss in a cup and set it up as a trap. So we find an empty yogurt plastic container and fill it up around 3/4 full. We put it in a tree branch and then we see these two kids from another neighborhood walking towards us. They come up to us and ask what we're doing, so I tell them we're about to make cabbage rolls from leaves and mud and we're gonna throw them up in the air and watch them explode and it will be crazy fun. I grab a few leaves from the tree and start rolling some mud in, and tell them to join in and do the same.
They fall for it, so one kid jumps up as high as he could, grabs onto a branch and tries to break it off. The cup we pissed in falls straight onto his forehead, spilling all over his hair, face and clothes... it was a perfect hit. Took him a few seconds to realize what the liquid was and what just happened. My two friends and I burst out laughing while running away as fast as we could while this kid is screaming and throwing rocks at us.
That was the meanest thing I've ever done to someone. I havent't seen him since, which is probably a good thing. I wonder what he told his mom when he got home.
- CALLES0
so the other day i am at a establishment, of course meaning a bar, and there i am all collected trying to behave.. When this two girlfriend's of mine decide that it would be a good idea to give me a lapdance. well one of them did a WAY too sexy move and kneed me in the eye... now im rocking a black eye.
end of story
- CALLES0
wow morilla i had forgotten about that one... fucking great
- madirish0
how do you get a black eye from C-cups???
;)
- k0na_an0k0
While walking in the train depot last night I was walking up to my train as it was pulling into the station, there was a man standing on the yellow warning bricks next to the tracks. As I was walking up to him I said "Be careful, you're awful close to the tracks standing on those warning bricks" and as I walked past I pushed him onto the tracks in front of the train. He's dead. But I bet he learned a very valuable lesson. Obey warnings.
- ********0
I know about this guy that gets into this competition where he ends up in a town full of weirdows, the other guys racing him die, he survives gymnastikicking everyone's ass to victory..
- ornj0
We were on a school bus returning from a field trip when my buddy decides he has to spit. He was a little sick so he was making a lot of mucus. So he unlocks the windows and hucks a pretty pretty meaty loogy right out of the bus. Turns out one of the windows in the back was opened and as the snot passed it got sucked right back onto the bus smacking some poor kid in the face.
