Random Crazy Stories
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- CALLES
ok lets try to make them funny.
One time i was at the race tracks. So i go to the bathroom. As i'm peeing this handicap guy in a wheelchair comes from the back by the urinaries. Well, he happend to bump a guy by accident. making the guy miss and piss he's pants. The guy peeing turns around with hes penis sticking and pants wet and start yelling at the wheelchair guy who at this point he just has his head down, it was a pretty weird scene... but funny
- OSFA0
thought you said funny, not gay...
- CALLES0
well... i havent's even told you about the time ialmost fought a "small person"... crafty little fucker
com'on osfa im sure you have one of those stories... give it to me
- k0na_an0k0
just yesterday.
i had an interview with a very large company downtown and was supposed to call back their staffing agent to give him my feedback on how the interview went.
so i call him at 3pm on his cell phone, like he asked and here is how it went...
*ring ring
agent: hey baby cakes... is this my wake-up call?
*looks at phone for a moment and says wtf to self
me: uh... i prefer to be called sweet cheeks to be honestwe both laughed and he apologized about 40 times. sounded like we both had a rough day. haha.
- CALLES0
haha
baby cakes. wtf... so are you getting the job in the gay porn industry
- Jaline0
wake-up call at 3pm, eh?
your boss sounds like one of "those" types ;)
- k0na_an0k0
lol calles!
jaline. this was for a completely different interview/company and i don't think the guy was expecting me to call him on his cell, even though in his message earlier in the day he gave me his cell number.
when he called in the morning i could have sworn he was loaded. at first he mistook me for another doug who was interviewing and tried setting up an interview with me for monday, when i told them i already had an interview scheduled for 10am he goes 'who the hell did i call?'
very funny.
- Gucci0
"wake up call" probably means dirty talk sessions.
either that or Kona's wife is into some funny business behind his back.
kiiiiiidddding.
;)
- harlequino0
that will be an interesting guy to work for
- OSFA0
That's the guy I wanna set up my appointments with! He even calls you cute little names..
- k0na_an0k0
hahaah... NOOOOO!
- mg330
It's a long one, some of you have heard it before, but for those of you who have not, you will love this.
It happened in September 2005.
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Was just laying in bed asleep, and check out what happened:These guys across the alley, in a basement level apartment have been rather annoying this weekend, having parties, being noisy all night, waking me up here and there.
At about 2:20 a.m. I was woken up by some shouting, so I went to look at the window at their windows.
I hear "Who the f is in there!" and all this screaming, most of the lights are off. I see two guys go flying across the kitchen, looks like fighting.
Hear others in the house shout "Who's f'ing fighting!?!"Turns out, it was a break in. Apartment full of 7 guys sleeping and one of them woke up to see someone standing in the dark with their playstation.
I'm watching and can only see through windows, but all this shouting, "Get him on the ground!" "What the f are you doing in my house???"
Yelling to call 911, etc.From what I've overheard out my window, one of the guys there is a wrestler/fighter/ Mixed Martial Arts, etc.
The guy that broke in was armed with a screwdriver, and guy I just mentioned got control of him and the guy still got up on his feet.From what they've said, there is blood everywhere in there. I think they thought they may have killed the robber.
I saw someone grabbing an iron to try and tie him up with the cord while waiting for the cops.Shouting at the robber "You picked the wrong f'ing house!"
The cops get there, some of the people in the apartment are outside. The cops are standing over the robber in the kitchen with their guns out, and he is STILL trying to get up. All kinds of shouting at him. More cops show up, ambulance,
etc. and when they bring the guy out, his whole head is covered in towels and he's all strapped to a stretcher.I could sort of get a view down into the room from my windows, lots of blood smeared on the kitchen floor and on the walls.
Listening to stuff out the window...telling the cops...someone woke up
to see the guy in there, and finally the smashed a chair over his head to get him to the ground.F'ing crazy. It's 3:22 now and I'm usually asleep. I think the robber is still alive, but I think they messed him up hardcore. Like I said, one of the guys in the apartment is an Mixed Martial Arts fighter, and he
got cut above the eye pretty bad. They just kept saying there is blood all over the apartment.The investigators found suitcases in the trash around the side of the building with other stuff stolen, and evidence that the robber had stolen that stuff.
Just insane. Here I am thinking they're partying and they're actually fighing someone who broke in.
--More info:
Overheard one of the guys in the place talking on his phone Monday night. He said that the guy who broke in was 40, and on crystal meth, and they recognized him from sleeping around the dumpster behind their building.
One guy smashed that guy with a barstool across the head 4-5 times and on the 5th time the stool completely shattered. Being on the drugs, he was almost impossible to take down.
He had 18 stapels put in his skull because they pretty much split it open. He's being charged with 5 felony charges.The mma fighter guy had some big cuts in his shoulder from the screwdriver, and 8 stitches above his eye. He was also being bitten by the guy.
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Current followup:Small world, one of the guys who lived there ended up playing guitar with my band in the spring of 07, and we got to talking about that. It was so random that we discovered we had that in common.
He said the guy wasn't on drugs, but he thought they were going to kill him so that's why he ws fighting back so viciously.
- Jaline0
"wake up call" probably means dirty talk sessions.
Gucci
(Jul 13 07, 07:08)exactly. and 3pm sounds very random.
- emecks0
"wake up call" probably means dirty talk sessions.
Gucci
(Jul 13 07, 07:08)exactly. and 3pm sounds very random.
Jaline
(Jul 13 07, 07:09)on the contrary, 3pm is the standard time for the 3 o'clock wank.
- madirish0
not really crazy or anything, but had an account manager call me one time at like 1am going on and on about how much fun she had on our 'date' and that she was "you know, not really doing anything if i wanted to come over or anything..."
i asked her if this was the dude with the same name as me she told me she was going on a date with during our conference call earlier in the day.
..........dead silence.............
i got a pretty funny apology email the next day.
- CALLES0
WTF mg33... i can just picture your face while looking out the window.... did you get any popcorn?
- Jaline0
really, emecks? thanks for informing me. this is very important news.
- CALLES0
i got a pretty funny apology email the next day.
madirish
(Jul 13 07, 07:15)OUCH!
- Jaline0
mg, did you consider calling the cops? not judging or anything at all, just curious.
- emecks0
"the time at the third stroke will be exactly 3pm"
- ********0
hahah that is crazy mg33.