tell me jokes..
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- jevad0
I don't get the Aristocrats joke at all....
- ********0
jevad... you are not serious i hope..
*smashes head thru wall
- ********0
- jevad0
oh no I know what it is...I just don't get it...is it supposed to be funny?
\
: )
- ********0
- ********0
watch this
- jevad0
hahahahh
- d5ive0
I love blonde jokes. Here's a few.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave
- Lesk0
i dont get the aristrocrats joke either, how does it relate to the movie.
- blaw0
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'. I'm like... Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
- paddywop0
a man is about to buy a car. He asks "how much is it?"
The salesman replies "It'll be two grey bananas and a bucket of red"
The man, shocked, replies " i'm not paying that, thats silly money!!!"
*only works with english dialect
*probably doesn't work even with english dialect
*sorry
- ********0
i dont get the aristrocrats joke either, how does it relate to the movie.
Lesk
(Sep 3 05, 07:32)the movie is about the joke.
- dSynthesis0
What did the leper say to the hooker?
"Keep the tip"
I'll be here all week, you've been lovely.
- tigers0
man who drop watch in toilet...
will have a shit time....
- dSynthesis0
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
- blaw0
a beautiful princess is locked away in a dragon-guarded castle.
[endings as per your favorite metal genre]
* Power Metal
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.* Thrash Metal
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.* Heavy Metal
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.* Folk Metal
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.* Viking Metal
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.* Death Metal
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.* Black Metal
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.* Gore Metal
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and
fucks it for the last time.* Doom Metal
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.* Progressive Metal
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'Heavy Metal' protagonist.* Glam Metal
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.* Nu Metal
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
- ********0
What did the leper say to the hooker?
"Keep the tip"
I'll be here all week, you've been lovely.
dSynthesis
(Sep 7 05, 07:01)HAHA!!
- ********0
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
(censored)
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
- blaw0
An elderly couple met for a afternoon romp in the broom closet at the nursing home.
After they undressed the woman thought it best to warn the man of her heart condition.
"I should tell you, I have acute angina."
"That’s good," he replied, "because you have the ugliest breasts I've ever seen!"
- ********0
lol Rand!