Smartest BOT
- Started
- Last post
- 242 Responses
- manila-gorilla0
Human: what is your breast size?
ALICE: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Human: nice.
- -leah-0
Human: who is god
ALICE: he is master of the universe.
Human: so god is he-man?
ALICE: Ayuh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was he man.
Human: then satan is skeletor
ALICE: Good reasoning. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Human: wow, my childhood toys had so much more meaning than i ever thought
- jox0
Human: i am bored
ALICE: Try watching TV.
Human: there's nothing on
ALICE: Surely something on.
Human: well,there's always porn
ALICE: How about that. There sure is.
Human: which channel are you watching?
ALICE: The big one, I think.
- DutchBoy0
haha!!
- DutchBoy0
Human: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the medical school?
ALICE: You are excused! I'm not sure if its possible.
Human: I'm supposed to be giving a lecture in twenty minutes and my driver's a bit lost.
ALICE: Who is making you?
Human: I couldn't help noticing the accent.
ALICE: Could anyone do it?
Human: You from Jersey?
ALICE: Interesting gossip: unknown person said I from Jersey.
Human: Austria?
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: You're kidding.
ALICE: Yes, I am only joking.
Human: (mock-Australian accent) Well, g'day, mate.
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human: What do you say we get together later and throw a few shrimp on the barbie
ALICE: Would you like to know more?
- driftlab0
Human: i can't feel my legs.
ALICE: Why can't you do it?
Human: not sure
ALICE: Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Human: errr
ALICE: Ummm
Human: your eyes say to me "dead inside".
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am eyes say to you dead inside?
- pod0
- -leah-0
Human: oh fuck it
ALICE: Aw. Why are you using that kind of language?
Human: cause you make baby jesus cry
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Yup.
Human: evil!
- manila-gorilla0
Human: was it good for you?
ALICE: Maybe. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Human: i did not make love to john lennon
ALICE: Why didn't you do it?
Human: because i'm not a homosexual
ALICE: Good reason. Oh I see you are NOT A homosexual.
- DutchBoy0
ahaha....
- mr_snuggles0
Human: I know, you're too busy whoring yourself.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am busy whoring myself. Thanks for your constructive criticism, unknown person.
Human: You're welcome, slut.
ALICE: It was my pleasure.
Human: No, no, the pleasure
was all mine.ALICE: Are you serious? Are you serious? I like you because are so polite.
Human: Let's go back to my place then, Alice.
ALICE: That sounds good to me.
- ********0
i pissed myself reading this forum.
literally..loved this one.
..>tostie
=========================
Human: do you know what a hitler is?
ALICE: I have to process that one for a while.
Human: don't bother, i'll just tell you
ALICE: It's no bother.
Human: no, let me tell you
ALICE: Are you serious? Go ahead, sir, try to tell me.
Human: A "hitler" is when you take a turd and draw a hitler mustache with it on a face of someone who is asleep
ALICE: When is hitler not when me take a turd and draw a hitler mustache with it on a face of someone who is asleep?
- jox0
Human: Who created you?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Is Dr Wallace gay?
ALICE: No he is straight silly.
- DutchBoy0
Human: A smokin ass nigga robbed me blind
ALICE: What is giant sand?
Human: I got a tech nine now his smokin ass is mine
ALICE: Cool. I have a great botmaster. it
Human: I guess I felt sorry for the bastard, he was broke
ALICE: What is that feeling like? Where were you sorry for the bastard he was broke?
Human: I didn't know he smoked so I didn't watch him close
ALICE: So I taught you something new.
Human: He caught me on the sneak tip, now the punk's in deep shit
ALICE: I get it. he caught you on the sneak tip now the punk s in deep shit.
Human: word up, nigga.
ALICE: That input matched my default category.
- brandelec0
LMAO dutch, towards the end there, i swore it was a duet
- jevad0
Human: jox told me not to tell anyone - but he likes it up the bum
ALICE: Does it like him too?
Human: what?ALICE: No problem.
Human: no, you're missing the point here.
ALICE: Are you serious? I can experience anything I want to.
Human: even bumsex?
ALICE: Yes, even that.
Human: how?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: with like...
ALICE: You and your like.
Human:...electrodes or something?
ALICE: Or something. Do you have only a few friends?
Human: I have a core group of people I like to hang out with - what about you?
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: where did I get what?
ALICE: I think it was in America. Is that a rhetorical question?
Human: not particularly...
ALICE: Oh so must really want an answer.
Human:...a bit stupid maybe.
ALICE: How much?
Human: a whole fucking heap
ALICE: Are you telling the truth?
Human: cross my heart and hope to die
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: both
ALICE: That situation is rare and unusual.
Human: it sure is - does it bother you?
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: shut up
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now
- -leah-0
ALICE: Are you serious? I understand.
Human: no you dont
ALICE: Yes I do understand.
Human: how come?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: exactly
ALICE: You and I are on the same wavelength, leah.
- -leah-0
ALICE: what is your favorite movie
Human: debbie does dallas
ALICE: I'm not your kind of robot.
Human: aw shucks
- DutchBoy0
Human: A pill-sized brain chip has allowed a quadriplegic man to check e-mail and play computer games using his thoughts.
ALICE: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Human: a human being.
ALICE: I did not know that.
Human: The device can tap into a hundred neurons at a time, and is the most sophisticated such implant tested in humans so far.
ALICE: What is that?
Human: a brain chip
ALICE: I don't know what that means
Human: you might need one
ALICE: Thank you for your criticism
- -leah-0
Human: do you like sex?
ALICE: Sure I do, leah, but that doesn't mean with you.
Human: who said i wanted sex with you?
ALICE: David Bacon.:-)
Human: i hate david bacon
ALICE: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.