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- OP3110
Headed down to my in-laws this past weekend. Haven't been there since Easter. Last time we were down my brother-in-law gave me a weed cookie he had made. I don't really smoke anymore and I never got around to eat it. I just stashed it in my bag.
Fast forward to this weekend, I used the same bag to pack my clothes. Haven't opened it since easter and totally forgot about the cookie stashed in there. Well, my mother-in-laws dog (15 pound beagle mix) decides to go into the bag and eat a bunch of crap, including the cookie. I started to freak out, but didn't want to say anything just yet. Waited to see what happened. I felt terrible, but the dog who is usually pretty crazy gets super relaxed to a point where he couldn't walk. At first he was running around like normal, then he just wanted to chill. He got super hungry too and thirsty. My mother-in-law starts freaking out, thinks he ate some insulation or chemicals. I feel terrible, but i'm too much of a chicken shit to say anything still. The dog was totally stoned. Every time he tried to walk he would just go in circles.
Long story short, the dog is fine. We ended up bringing him to the vet where they made him vomit. The effects only lasted 3 hours and he was back to running around. They still think he got it from eating insulation or something in there attic (He gets into stuff all the time). I still feel pretty bad about it though.
- what's her humor like? she might laugh if she knew it was a weed cookie that chilled him out...?bklyndroobeki
- good that it was 1 cookie :)bklyndroobeki
- lol she wouldn't find it funny at all. My father-in-law might though, but i'm not going to tell him either.OP31
- ya, the dogged lived, never fess upGnash
- http://stories.barkp…Gnash
- lol. dogged? fucking potato fingers..Gnash
- you know what you should do, post it on a public internet forum full of bitter twats who have nothing better to do than get you in the shitautoflavour
- ha my fate is sealedOP31
- lol!scarabin
- Ahaha..funniest story i've read in a whilesureshot
- Party Animalgarbage
- brilliant - like real life Meet The Parentsfadein11
- Maybe your mother in law should not let the beagle in the attic?cannonball1978
- next step, give your mother in law a weed cookiedmay
- bklyndroobeki0
Is there a song that gets stuck in your head a lot?
- http://tinyurl.com/2…robotron3k
- https://www.youtube.…imbecile
- This should be it's own tread.eryx
- eryx i was tempted...bklyndroobeki
- cannonball19781
I dropped my car off in Cherry Hill NJ to get serviced and it was an 8am slot so pretty early. The Audi guy says it wont be ready until at least 1, and points out there is a shuttle to the Mall and that the bagels are fresh in the showroom. I have a bagel and notice there is a Friendlys on the other side of the interstate. It says it is open but the door is locked and after trying the pull bar I peer in the window and can just barely make out a single employee... a skinny kid probably in his early 20s hunched over what looks like a small glass pipe, not of the tobacco or weed variety. Strangely this doesn't surprise me but I'm not about to bug this guy for breakfast, so I pull my bootstraps and march across the emptiest mall parking lot to where I can peer over a chainlink fence. Across a set of train tracks there is another third mall, separate from the other two and I can make out a Starbucks logo. I kid you not it takes me like 20-25 min to walk to this Starbucks because the only way to cross the train tracks is along the interstate (none of the mall sidewalks are actually designed to go anywhere). So whatever I'm a big boy I don't mind a little highway walk. Now I'm in the Starbucks sipping my cold brew and despite the empty parking lot the place is packed. I've been able to discern that it is all Italian Real estate agents, older Italian women writing emails, and one non-Italian writing a screen play. Almost everyone's shirt is made out of silk.
- shellie0
I left ATL with 18 mosquito bites. I am having a complete allergic reaction to this. The pain and swelling is unbearable. How do people manage mosquito bites on the east coast/south? They're fucking savage. I hear a lot of talk about bug spray with deet being bad for you and stuff without deet is basically worthless.
- deet is the only thing I have found to work.Gnash
- for long camping trips i don't use anything. I find that the body gets used to the bugs and it's easier to just accept them. after 4 days or so i'm goodGnash
- I think ice or something similarly cold (cans etc.) work as a temp. remedy? To draw the heat out and reduce the swelling.face_melter
- Eat lotsa garliccannonball1978
- ALOE! you're in the city right? get to the spot that's in Alphabet city off 2nd ave.bklyndroobeki
- aloe, and maybe benadryll? not sure the latter helps but...bklyndroobeki
- to get rid of the bite itch:
Take a dull knife - go to a cross-roads at midnight -- make the mark of the cross on the bite with the knife by pressing firmlyGnash - it works so shut up.Gnash
- @Gnash, that is what I was going to say but not the cross roads stuff, just use your finger nail. Also Afterbite and aloeeryx
- ^ not another word outta you until you spill on the bigfoot story!Gnash
- (full moon makes it extra powerful)Gnash
- AVON "Skin So Soft" Skin Cream is one of the best Mosquito repellents in the world. Used by US Army and SAS seemingly! Google it.microkorg
- @microkorg i heard about this and I'm investing in this asap.shellie
- SSS = cancerbklyndroobeki
- i believe it all.sea_sea
- benadryl works goodmoldero
- Maaku2
I wanted to take her to dinner this week, to tell her I'm sorry.
She said it wasn't necessary and we should sit down to talk later on this weekend.I think I know what's coming, what would you do?
- Talk to her.detritus
- It's a bit hard to answer given we don't know what you're apologising for in the first place...detritus
- Overall, for being a jerk.Maaku
- She is making you sweat - take a gamble and say you are busy at the weekend but are free the following one. That will get a reaction for sure.fadein11
- ^ lol, I'll see how things develop over the weekend, this could be handy.Maaku
- ah gamescannonball1978
- Decide if you want to make it work or not before you start playing games. Didn't you just say you were a jerk to her? It's your turn to put some effort into it.sea_sea
- communicate with her first before you feast.bklyndroobeki
- steal everythingautoflavour
- Good luck with it all. I was obviously joking. Definitely do not do what I suggested :)fadein11
- what happened before?mekk
- OP310
I just got into a debate with a product manager who insists we use Apple's proprietary typeface over our brand typeface for a recent iOS app redesign. He's also proposing that the typeface be different for the Android version as well. I'm pushing back, but has this become standard practice? I hate not following brand guidelines across our digital products.
- Engaging in similar discussions here. The PM and Devs really want to use the typeface because it's easier on them.kona
- It seems to have boiled down to who wears the pants in the organization. Devs are winning a lot of the time it seems...MondoMorphic
- Is there an issue w/the branded font rendering properly across various platforms? I can only think it would be a tech reason to avoid branded fonts...PonyBoy
- ...outside of that your PM's head is parked up their butt. :)PonyBoy
- the main excuse i'm getting is that it's easier for "the user"OP31
- Main reason: Developer laziness.
Second reason: Issue w/fonts rendering properly across platforms.PonyBoy - The font is perfectly fine across platforms. Its not even the devs that are making it an issue. Its the product manager, who just happens to be a VP.OP31
- trials and tribulations of in-house corporate politics really.OP31
- ah... so your VP is lazy :)PonyBoy
- Easier because???? It loads fast, or because what?Maaku
- He may secretly hate that font!Maaku
- Easier b/c the user will recognize the font since its found throughout iOS. Design is slowly taking a backseat in the product world IMOOP31
- Our devs won't load resized images for responsive and it took me 1.5 years get them to use svg.Hayoth
- And they have no idea what to do with retina images.Hayoth
- User testing will give you an answer about who's right and wrong. Neither of you are "the user".microkorg
- Using brand fonts is a pain in the ass because most of them are shit. Legal issues too, sometimes.mekk
- freedom0
If someone hires you for a quick job for a day or so and you don't get to talk to them that much but you feel like there's some potential for future work, what do you do?
Do you send them a thank you note by mail or email them or hope they call you again. I hate for a good contact fade away just because I wasn't too forward but don't want to seem desperate.
- Just say appreciate the work. If you need anything else let me know. Or let them know you are available for quickies.Hayoth
- turn up the next day like nothing happenedautoflavour
- freedom4
Moving is a tough job.
- omahadesigns0
Construction is a tough job.
- Nah, you know what's expected, you clock in and out, don't worry about it after and don't have to question yourself every living minute. I often miss it.detritus
- ^exactly.moldero
- I wish my work ended when the bell rang too.monospaced
- scarabin0
i dreamed aleister crowley and myself co-owned a badass steam train. spent all night working with him, shouting instructions back and forth to each other to get this loud, powerful beast chugging down the track, billowing smoke. pretty exhilarating
- detritus2
HEY, CALLING ALL MORONS —
BACK. UP. YOUR. SHIT. NOW.
.
I've just realised that I've not backed up my main client directory since last August, which was a bit of a surprise.
Signed, a moron.
- I'm pretty sure I've got a back up from this year on a USB, but I'll need to go home to check. Fucking idiot!detritus
- Every hour.monospaced
- I backup after every keystroke just to be surekona
- I should probably automate it.
That's just not very 'me'.detritus - Automated backups are a no-brainer.monospaced
- automated nightly for 7 years now...
... I'm still a moron though.PonyBoy - none of this shit is worth keeping, let the zeros break away from the ones for all i care.imbecile
- time machine has saved me several timesGnash
- My quantum computer has backups of all its future states.i_monk
- Forwardupsset
- just last week i backed up 30gs of photos, from my phone. Xosea_sea
- Being that I am not a moron, I will continue not backing up my shit.nb
- inteliboy1
vimeo's streaming algorithm is woeful... always stops dead... quits buffering... click anwwhere and it freezes... Just never works seamlessly.
- I never have that problem. YT otoh gives me auto low res and stops all the time.i_monk
- same shitty experience when i was on a modem and now with high speed fiber... time to fix it vimeoOBBTKN
- can confirm.rabbit
- never had an issue with vimeo.. youtube on the other hand.. ballsautoflavour
- detritus0
Oh dear, I've just realised I sent an email yesterday recommending someone instead try companies that specialise in "production and personalisation of trophies" when she asked about what I now realise was clearly the personalisation of a PLAQUE commemorating what sounds like the passing of someone dear to her.
"Congratulations on your death!"
*head in hands*
- I'd write and apologise, but i assume at this point she's got bigger things to worry about and would rather not be minded of some insensitive clod's stupidity.detritus
- i dunno, she wants a palque, those sort of places specialise in engraving etc, so not such a bad recommendation.hans_glib
- it's when they answer her call the problems might start. "so, what's the event?"hans_glib
- haha, quite. I staand by my advice — it was just the use of the word 'Trophy' that made me cringedetritus
- my uncle owns a trophy shop, he engraves memorial plaques all the time. no big dealOP31
- since19790
My girlfriend keeps playing the same songover and over and now when i hear it I feel like throwing up.
It's like Clockwork Orange.
- or that ride in Disneylandmoldero
- get her some cool headphones.sea_sea
- Or a Tranquilizer dart.pango
- lolsea_sea
- are you single pango?oey
- Would you be shocked to learn he probably is?Continuity
- no. i would be shocked the other way around.oey
- Yup. They all ran away after they woke up. :(pango
- what song?sofas
- https://youtu.be/Oj5…pango
- https://www.youtube.…since1979
- (throws up)since1979
- at first I was like 'get over it... she likes what she likes'... then I heard the tune and I now think you have grounds for dumping herPonyBoy
- sarahfailin0
was working out and they were playing the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz, which blatantly rips off the most recognizable part of "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band.
Seeing as how every young person must have heard the song at least once in the movie Anchorman, it seems pretty brazen and cynical to write and publish a song that is such a ripoff.
Then I heard Train's new single "Play that Song" which is rips off, of all fucking songs in the world, "Heart and Soul" the piano song that every child learns how to play after "Chopsticks."
It's a sick, sad world.
- surely, royalties are being paidsince1979
- which rips off*sarahfailin
- face_melter0
OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS FUCKING BITING HELL! I'M GOING TO FUCKING DIE! THIS IS HOW IT ENDS! SWEET BABY BISCUIT JESUS RELEASE ME FROM THIS ENDLESS TORMENT! THIS IS WHAT DEATH MUST BE LIKE!
And other such pleasant thoughts passed through my head as I rolled over and submerged into the cold water to complete the final part of my kayak course - being able to climb back into the kayak after falling out, both solo and using another kayak as support.
Fuck me sideways. I mean, i'm a bona fide member now but that was fierce.
- What body of water was this? Is it freezing?HijoDMaite
- congratsGnash
- It's an inlet in Stockholm, not freezing - the water stays relatively warm if the sun is up. Just a bit of a shock.face_melter
- yeah no. never doing that.bklyndroobeki
- mg334
Executed a perfect use of the Shia LeBouf Magic gif on a Slack channel with clients today when one asked how I managed to reply to their comment and include their comment (Share, duh). Replied with the gif and they lost their mind. I won this day.
- sarahfailin2
It's been 19 hours and I haven't gotten any fucking pennies yet. I'm looking at you Money Lisa...