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  • stoplying7

    It was my birthday last Friday and I was flying home from Houston - flight delayed 4 hours. My wife and boys said they would pick me up at the airport and my 4 year old son had a balloon for me.

    From there, we headed to a sushi restaurant about 45 mins away, and my son opened his car window and POOF, the balloon was violently ripped off his wrist and sucked out of the car. Inconsolable hysterics ensued. For 20 minutes.

    So we go to a Toys R Us store to get a replacement balloon - he was that upset.

    Go to sushi joint, they bring us to our table, we're figuring out who is going to sit where and POOF - a ceiling fan gets our second balloon.

    A young couple next to us was just leaving as we sat down and saw the balloon pop. 10 minutes later they come back with a new balloon for my son. All was right in the universe again.

    People can be really good sometimes.

    • lesson learned and reinforced: throw tantrum to get what you want, over and over again :)monospaced
    • lovely story :)fadein11
    • :)sted
    • Over a fucking balloon? You give in like that? :) My parents would haven't even got me the balloon as it would be deemed an 'unnecessary expense' by Dad. hehePonyBoy
    • balloon!!imbecile
    • They all floatdyspl
    • apparently PonyBoy has no idea what a balloons means to ussted
    • The balloon was for me, but my son felt so bad that he lost MY balloon, he was crushed.stoplying
    • Oh!monospaced
    • haha! Now I want a balloon :(PonyBoy
    • Now I feel bad.monospaced
    • no you don't... if I had a balloon you'd be the first to pop it, mono... admit it!! :DPonyBoy
    • lol @monoBennn
    • Happy birthday BTW!mugwart
    • and you didn't tell us?!?!?!pango
    • ^ isnt it uncool to tell people your birthday?mugwart
    • people are usually jerks..but occasionally they aren't.. I like this storyautoflavour
    • nice story but I r3ckon life is still fucked lolsureshot
    • No not really. How else would anyone know your birthday?pango
  • fourth2

    I met a girl. Friend of a friend of a friend. First time I've connected with anyone in a really long time. Both introverts. Seemed to hit it off and had a lot in common. couldn't stop talking to one another and we planned a art night this week to get together and do some calligraphy together.

    Now I'm all up in my own head because I've been here before so many times in my 34 years of living. I'm not sure if she's interested at all because she's really fucking pretty. She said we were going to become "new besties". Not the worst thing but you know. Our mutual friends have been ominously quiet and I can tell they're watching real closely. I can't tell if they know something I don't know?

    wish me luck

    • just make sure your penis ready to go for calligraphy night.capn_ron
    • oh dear lord! i forgot a very important space. pen (insert space) is. carry on.capn_ron
    • its called a nibfourth
    • I'm sure your mutual friends have all said 'may the fourth be with you'. I know, I'm funny. Good luck man. Go with it. xIanbolton
    • lol ronscarabin
    • Your friends probably set you up.pango
  • detritus0

    I have a friend who has a 'burner phone'.

    Except it's a stock Samsung install and this person has it on all the time, right next to their normal phone, so fuck, useless as per its intent.

    As per the 'probably always on, unless you managed to find the setting' recording and advert-matching above, endemic surveillance is everywhere now, yo; We've wholly-idiotically- complicitly blundered into a near-1984 level of surveillance.

    Fuckers here and everywhere need to start ditching FB and G, building low-tech receiver phone/modules and making grid/darknet networks.

    If people don't start mass-legitimising some level of hackerdom and parallel buy-in to that, we're fucked.

    The Internet - the 'web' - is fucked.

    We need a back-up plan.

    • I 'may' have had a couple too many joints and ciders at this point.detritus
    • "dumb phones"imbecile
    • isn't your second half just referring to ham radio?imbecile
    • no, sorry - meant 'mesh' rather than 'grid'.
      My bad. Smart extended wifi, essentially.
    • My work phone is a 'dumb' phone.
      Works great.
      Except texting.
      I forgot what old texting is like.
    • just don't install everything on your phone, for example: fb and fb messenger is a bad idea...sted
    • I know. I know. This person's paranoid about external interventions... yet uses WhatsApp extensively. I mean, really?detritus
    • I'm trying to convince a client to make a two-phone RF-shielded pouch thing, so that people can have a hard reset point.detritus
    • I agree with this 100% regardless of cider/joints consumed.fadein11
    • Makes sense to me, but surely old texting technology is less secure in someways than even Whatsapp?Ianbolton
    • My weed dealer is paranoid AF about even having a phone, even though you can smell his car all over town.Ianbolton
  • garbage0

    Piggybacking on scarabin's vinyl Amazon weirdness:

    The missus was going out with friends over the weekend, and I jokingly texted "be sure to wear a condom".

    Pull up an video on my phone a few minutes later and I get slapped with a Trojan ad for the first time ever.

    A friend and I started texting exclusively in Spanish a little while ago, and my ads suddenly hablan espanol.

    [Cue X-Files theme]

    • there's fuckery afootscarabin_net
    • i was having sex w my girl and it sends me condom ads. dirty robot wankersince1979
    • you are all iphone users?sted
    • I mentioned in passing that I wanted swim trunks in a specific style and color, and the next day they were in my feed. Never had an ad like that before.monospaced
    • it's not fuckery.
      your phone mic is listening to everything for key words regarding search and status posting
    • Android here.garbage
    • eavesdroppers; facebook, messenger, etc do not care the platformimbecile
  • imbecile2

    voice based ads won't be smart until they are connected to cc or bank account info so it will stop offering me stuff I've already purchased... nothing worse than seeing ads for stuff I now own two weeks after buying it

    • Or cookie based... same. They kept promoting things I just bought.pango
    • I research a product on Amazon for a long time, purchase one based on reviews. Immediately, Amazon can only recommend that product and only that product.monospaced
    • C'mon, Amazon, you know I literally just bought it, why would I want another one?monospaced
    • I have a patent on this. It was pitched as the anti-recommendation. If someone purchased a golf driver, don't suggest golf driverskona
    • suggest a putter, or long-distance golf balls instead.kona
    • +1. Those ads are the most infuriatingly- worst pieces of shit. I've moaned about as much here and elsewhere before.detritus
    • Or worth. They recommend the same product at cheaper price....after I bought it...pango
  • bainbridge0

    I don't have a Linkedin account anymore. Why do I get invitations from people I worked with once to add them?

    • It suggests based on your email. Scary stuff.monospaced
    • Linkedin spamutopian
    • Best thing is when you receive an invitation to join from a person already on your contact list, but on another e-mail address.sr_rosa
    • Linkedin scrapes people's emails - they got caught a while ago and said 'oops! we won't do it again!'
      Fucking lies.
    • lol sr_rosa, I thought I was the only one experiencing thisimbecile
  • scarabin2

    last night at the bar i picked this album out of the bin of vinyls and played it on their turntable. took a photo of the cover with my phone because i thought it was interesting.

    today, amazon is -out of the blue- suggesting i buy it. amazon has never suggested i buy vinyl from them before.

    this seems to suggest that amazon somehow knows i was listening to the album last night, which is unlikely because it has never suggested music to me before, or that it knows i took a photo of the album.

    what the fucking fuck

    • Ziggy Stardust and the NSA Photo Recognition Software Licensed by Amazon Prime AI Suggested Purchasing Division from Marsprophetone
    • you haven't googled any detail about the album?sted
    • your microphone and your camera are working for them.renderedred
    • I'm reading increasing anecdata of people having product suggestions from FB and G after conversations within earshot of their phones.detritus
    • @detritus it's real and it works. seriously.renderedred
    • i didn't google shit. so creepyscarabin
    • fast frwrd 3 yrs. same scenario. driving home from bar, at door, what's this? oh just drone-delivered complimentary copy of lp, try it out for 30 days!prophetone
    • They're doing you a favour because it is one of the finest albums ever made. Moonage Daydream sounds incredible on vinyl.face_melter
    • our phones are always recording. There is some anagram shifting through our daily life. I hope you all put your phones in the draw when you have sex!mugwart
    • that and five years, top choons!prophetone
    • a friend was even telling me that they are able to work out where you are in the shops through the sound alone. Hope all this ultrasonic shit is just bluffmugwart
    • one side project it to take out the camera and micorphone chip from my old phone camera. Possibly even the gps.mugwart
    • i have the camera on my tablet and desktop taped off with gaffers but my phone and its microphone? we're screwed.sea_sea
    • This has happened to me too many times to NOT be a thing. I wish they'd just be transparent about it so I can take hammer my phone.5timuli
    • Doesn't bother me. I just laughsince1979
    • Lady Stardust. nut said.
      but yes, creepy.
    • *nuffsofakingback
    • in b4 kanye westsince1979
    • https://noisey.vice.…since1979
    • ultrasonic shit is not bluff. microphones determine passwords based off of the echoes.imbecile
    • yep - I have experienced this also - 1st couple of times I thought it was coincidence but no - ads based on convos have happened too many times now.fadein11
    • AI is here. The future is now.chukkaphob
  • face_melter1

    The apartment rental situation in Stockholm is absolutely fucked, fucked beyond repair. The past two years has seen a huge boom in residential building to try and make up for the lack of housing - the waiting time to get a first-hand contract for social/rent-controlled housing is, on average, around 10 years.

    I've been looking for a new place recently - secondhand contract ie. renting from private landlord - and the prices and demand is bananas. Enquired about a place in Gröndal, fuckers wanted my entire life story, three references, and my credit score. Like, your place is nice but not fucking CIA black-op levels of information nice, you grabby cunts. Suffice to say I didn't get it. Maybe the details of my previous life as head of an international white slavery ring set off some warning bells. Who knows? Anyway. I eventually found a place which is super nice and only a hop, skip, and a fart from my kayak club and my office.

    The moral of this story - if you're looking for a place in Stockholm, don't, unless you have infinite wealth. Otherwise be prepared for misery and head-exploding levels of anxiety. And don't live in Södermalm - it's a gentrified Mecca for shitheads, that's why i'm moving out.

    • Sounds like NY. Been to Stockholm. I can imagine the prices in Gamla Stan! Area is so beautiful. Good luck! SS, CScore,and 1st born with mini fortune is standarbklyndroobeki
    • d around these parts.bklyndroobeki
    • Gamla Stan is a nightmare for prices. Easily one of the most expensive parts of town.face_melter
  • mg332

    Pinkfloyd, they're probably just emulating what they see on YouTube...

    • lol, I remember seeing thesepinkfloyd
    • These guys are so dumb but they're definitely my favorite of YouTube pranksters. I constantly want to send them ideas...mg33
    • i remember this one years back…
    • ^^^ fuck yeah. Gallon smash was the best.section_014
    • lol so silly but so funnyset
    • I laughed a little. But with shame. Cool that most ppl asked if he was okbklyndroobeki
    • 2:40 is the only bit that even remotely raised a smile from me :-(Hayzilla
  • Bennn0

    I have a pic on flickr thats getting lots of views and like since 3 days... It must be linked somewhere, but I have no way to know where.

    • maybe try google reverse image searchpinkfloyd
    • paste the url of that imagested
    • 4chan?pablo28
    •… this one?sted
    • Reverse image search, or, search the web for the full url. It may take a bit to show up if it's new, but you should be able to find it.mg33
    • Boobs?pango
    • You can find out what links to a page by googling "link:your_url"monNom
    • Ben it probably made explorer look for an email or within the comments for a congrats on explore.HijoDMaite
    • Yep my pic has been added to the group "in explore" by an admin inviteBennn
  • sarahfailin3

    i got a foam roller earlier this year and i fucking love it! it's like a free massage whenever you want.

    the other day i got high and was just rolling out for like 40 minutes. amazing.

    • https://media.giphy.…pockets
    • haha pocketsdetritus
    • lol, I have one, I should use it more oftenpinkfloyd
    • got one too—I've been in physical therapy for my upper spine for a few months—my foam roller has been a blissful addition to getting my spine to move / popPonyBoy
    • #FoamRollersHelp

      ...just showing some solidarity w/something I actually know something about :)
    • Rumble rollers are even more violently awesome. You also might want to add compression bands and lacrosse balls to your arsenal.Gucci
    • Oh yeah? I use wood logs from trees. The bark really gets in there.cannonball1978
    • The gf's yoga mat wound tightly around an extra long rolling pin works wonders...but yea, something proper would be nicefuturefood
    • Haha! thank youfuturefood
    • I bought one too...imbecile
    • U r a catsince1979
  • pango4

    Shimmy shimmy shimmy yahhh shimmy yeahh ~~

  • autoflavour2

    biggest regret is I was unable to transfer the QBN sticker a 4th time.. it just didn't want to.. kept leaving the glue on the laptop and giving me the vinyl .. :(

    • I've been temptedmoldero
    • I have 3 left. a black, red, and white one. i'll put one in the post if you want.capn_ron
    • ^ may I please get one from you?mugwart
    • Can has?bklyndroobeki
    • mug and bklyn, send me your addresses and I'll mail one off to each of you. my email is ron@ (my url in profile)capn_ron
  • autoflavour1

    been waiting over 20 minutes to be able to check out to purchase Microsoft office.. normally I would have just torrented, but I thought I should maybe buy some of this shit..

    but if the torrent gets in before I can check out, sorry bill, you fucking people screwed you.

  • autoflavour2

    and there you go.. "You're eligible for special pricing but the system is still being updated. Wait a few minutes, then refresh the screen."

    I did wait..

    and wait..

    and wait..

    and in that time, uTorrent helped me resolve it.

    • LOL.. 7 hours later.. same message. lift your game Microsoft..autoflavour
  • PonyBoy0

    Red Sox & Yankees tonight at Fenway...

    We want to go make a day of it in Boston but supposedly there is another North Carolina type 'white protest' scheduled there today. This really fucking blows cuz neither my wife nor I have wandered Boston in over 10 years... and there's no way we're missing that game...

    ... fuck whitey. // :)

    • They're supposed to take over the fucking Boston Common... RIGHT where we wanted to go wander... MOTHER FUCKERS.PonyBoy
    • Saw the news in a deli. Looks like the white supremacist showing pales in comparison to the crowds of anti-racist people. You should be fine.monospaced
    • Yeah... totally fizzled out... people are out enjoying no the city like it was any other day.PonyBoy
    • -noPonyBoy
  • sea_sea2

    Been sifting through resumes, interviewing and hiring people for the past few weeks. Now the training process. I see no end. Drinks.

    • flip a coin! let fate decide!mugwart
    • hire 1 more person than needed. and fire him at the end of the week just to show the rest you mean business!pango
    • ^thispinkfloyd
    • Done and done.sea_sea
    • Lol @pangobklyndroobeki
  • set0

    I was basically the Dr strange in my dream last night. I could control the universe with the power of my intent. Might be one of the most amazing dreams I've ever had. Woke up exhausted

    • Now I have to go and wireframes at a deskset
    • -sset
    • Maybe your dreaming nowmugwart
    • Sometimes I get up for work, shower, get dressed, get the train in... then wake up and realise I was dreaming and have to do the whole thing againset
    • I've been having some fantastic trippy dreams over recent months - full on psychedelic Video Game adventures in expansive hypercolour Mario-like lands.detritus
    • Most important thing though - i finally learned how to fly, and stay aloft. All my life my flying dreams have been distinctive in that the principal point is...detritus
    • ...that as soon as I fly, I feel in my gut the secret to the technique, but then just as quickly lose faith and fall. Always and forever.detritus
    • But in my last dream, I managed to make it all the way across the North Sea, and then ventured to the atlantic, at which point I awoke.detritus
    • I'm *just* superstitious enough to want to believe this means something important about my wakened existence... still waiting to find out what though.detritus
    • ^ own your subconscious!mugwart
    • Awesome Detritus. Love itset
  • Bennn5

    I'll get my new PC at work this afternoon, this is a good day :D
    I like getting a new computer!

    • Getting mine today too, but it's not getting setup til this weekend. Been working with the current rig for past 7 years. Too long..futurefood
    • 6 years here, it was overdue!Bennn
    • damn 6 and 7 years is a long long time. I never go more than 4-5 years...sarahfailin
  • imbecile0

    Launching a new project. A bit of spam. Finally live. I'm sure there will be issues. Thanks for looking.

    • I think it is a rule or bylaw on QBN that you need to at least offer a discount code if you self promote here. I don't make the rules, i just follow em.capn_ron
    • oh yeah my bad...
      $5 Off - cherishlaunch2017
    • nicely presentedGnash
    • some issues on osx chrome:…
      the slider feels buggy, if I click it (1st image) it reloads the page, 2nd slide only clickable on...
    • ...button. then the delayed free shipping banner makes the whole page jump, maybe you could just overlay it. good luck! page has a good feel, vibe!uan
    • soild feedback uan, thank you!imbecile