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So my girlfriend of 5 years moved out today. We haven't broken up, but agreed that we need space apart from each other. I have no illusions about the fact that this puts us in "good chance it won't work out" territory but I noticed a few things since coming home after helping her move:
I'm lonely and depressed.
My apartment has never looked better now that half of the cruft is now in at her pad.
No more washing flimsy plastic ziplock tupperware in the washing machine over and over. I get to throw those shits out.
WOOOOOT!!! Start flirting with everyone you see! Male and female! Go full out slut!!
It is kinda sad at first.
That's rough, sorry to hear. Went through that years ago and after a couple months of mourning I started getting out more and after going to the gym a lot I started to experience girls coming up to me.
I had to laugh though at your comment "I'm lonely and depressed but no more washing those god damn tupperware." It's ironic, often when in a relationship you want to be single and then when you're single you want to be in a relationship.
Chin up, onward...
you need to give space and forgiveness to make relationships work.
I went through this with my last gf.
We went for that "need more space" thing. It was sad and depressing at first, but we kinda tried to see each other like in the earlier days of our relationship and started having some fun but it just kinda turned into some sort of friendship with barely any benefits and I didn't want that so i just ended it.
Focused more on my job and my closest friends and the days were far more bearable.
Sorry that you had to find this way. Everyone I know that has gone through this realizes they are homosexual. Just be glad you have such a smart and understanding support group like us. The qubb
- Sucking a dick or five doesn't make me gay, no matter how amazing they were.cannonball1978
- you're not gay until you swallowmoldero
- spitters are quittersutopian
- It's only gay if you push backset
- Gay ghetto ?i_was
- it's not gay if you beat them up afterwardsterry_cloth
- Like beat up their rocket?pango
- Yurimon. Master of the sentence.set
This got weird fast.
If you can make her cum every day she will be happy.
First thing to do is to break off all contact. Unless there's a valid practical reason to be in touch with her (she forgot something essential, etc), being in contact will only make the loneliness and depression worse, and give you a false sense that everything is or could be 'ok' between you.
Second thing to do is to take a trip. Far away. Two weeks minimum. Job number one is getting yourself back, and there's nothing like travel to help you get right as rain.
Just forget about her, she is seeing someone else. If you do see her again, make her cum.
A mental or emotional connection is not what she is seeking, she is seeking to be pleased savagely.
If you don't make her cum she will always fantasize about someone else or wonder if she should be with someone else. Make her feel secure with you.
If it is too late for this just move on, but if you see her again remember to make her yours... if you want her.
Its easy to say run off and fuck someone else but your depression and loneliness might be telling you the opposite. Does it feel missing her or just someone else? If its her tell her.
If this is a win or loose situation - be completely honest. That way you can move on without remorse if all goes belly up but if it goes well you have more of a solid relationship and this situation becomes a positive event.
Those Tupperware better be BPA free ;-)
Start a Coffee Van business.
maybe this is a good time to start to take care of yourself should be your first priority. you have a good opportunity to really adjust to what you need versus what you want. id just learn from any mistakes and move on and reevaluate. but don't spend to much or be attached to negativity. it will interrupt you moving forward and start to effect you well being, productivity, health etc. figure out why you are lonely. there has to be a balance of your ability to be with yourself versus being social.
- Good advice. I find a brutally honest bucket list of all things I want to improve about myself, then actually act on them.mugwart
- "figure out why you are lonely" - that's because his partner moved out derp.fadein11
- ^ thats bit shallow analysis. but its ok. you are operating at full mental capacity. forgiven.yurimon
- mugwart. I found the list or the path starts out with know youself. who am i on various levels of existence, including spiritual. this where i found culturesyurimon
- that have pursue the question and seem to have proven techniques in the pursuit you are looking for helpful. how deep is your list of questions? also choosing ayurimon
- practice, or finding a practice that you see is most effective for yourself out the pool of practices made available to us. its very personal and not everythingyurimon
- works for everyone. usually a good start is to look into your ancestral practices were. not an easy path but worth it.yurimon
- well you made top of the front page - congrats. nice note to leave on.fadein11
- I did that when my marriage broke up. lost 50kgs, got happy and got to where I wanted to be (currently). Its not easy as you have to be brutally honest ...mugwart
- ... as CALLES said you might discover things about yourself you never knew/suppressed!mugwart
Thanks for the advice guys. Distance and taking care of myself are spot on.
It's not the same in terms of relationship time, but -
My girlfriend of 2 and half years did the same at the beginning of the year.
After a very rough couple of months and some very depressing one night stands, I started to feel better, then way better, then the best I've felt in a long time. Now I've recently met a girl that I'm 100X more compatible with.
When she left we didn't talk, at all. While difficult at first, I'm very happy about that decision.
as long she's not moving to Canada it's all good...
Pro-Tip: Drop the booze and drugs.
Can I get her number?