weird date you've been on
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- CanHasQBN0
I was once set up with a co-worker's friend. We had dinner at Olive Garden, and then watched El Fugitivo (Spanish dubbed) in his basement. We had some drinks. But apparently when he drinks, he starts talking non-stop about his ex, so I had to put my fingers in my ears and then I closed my eyes and started singing some old songs from my church days to drown out his sobbing. I pretended to pass out so that he would shut up and start groping me.... but he didn't, he just took me home.
I think he's g-a-y??
- haha, brilliantChristian
- there's a typo error: "in his basement" should be "in her basement".i_was
- it's not a typo, cowboy.CanHasQBN
- More a lapsus than typoGeorgesII
- +1Masterramos
- CALLES0
i dont go on dates... usually CALLES smash first and then relationships flourish after that
- The only way!necromation
- Ha!mg33
- +1Glitterati_Duane
- CALLES SMASH!!GeorgesII
- waterhouse0
I request moar.
- sine0
i had this one-night-stand kinda thing... girl from a local bar, but we've chatted before, etc. she was probably about 5 or so years older than me.
anyway, so we're getting it on at her place, and towards the end she asks if i want to see something and i say sure... she says hold out your hand and she squirts milk from her boob into my hand and says "i'm a mommy".
then she started getting kinda angry and a bit aggressive saying "you like fucking mommies, hey?" and squirting me with milk from her boobs. it wasn't sexy. it was kinda scary actually. i just tried to stay calm, finished up, got dressed and got out of there.
i figured her baby-daddy probably left her with nothing and now she's got some hate for all guys. that's my crazy milf story. haha, makes me sound so ghetto.
- AHAHAHAHA... she came on your hand.CanHasQBN
- lol. Nothing wrong with milfs. That squirting thing though. DamnGlitterati_Duane
- http://25.media.tumb…pablo28
- sounds like the beginning of a strange grad school NYU student movie....vaxorcist
- milf milk storyraf
- ahahahahah
traumatic yet hillarious, feel sorry for youGeorgesII - Sounds like a Brooklyn story.necromation
- ahahahahahbigtrick
- yes georges, funny now. i told my girlfriend this story the other day and she thought it was hilarious too.sine
- Been trying to get my wife to do this to me ever since we had our baby!!mathinc
- friend of mine said he was sucking on this chick's tit and he got a mouthful of itscarabin
- reminds me of a Louie CK episode, the one with the crazy girlmoldero
- Yeah Scarabin. I can relate...Glitterati_Duane
- haha yes moldero. was kinda like that.sine
- pango0
Dated a suicidal chick. (in no relation to suicidal girl). it's just like all the other cliche story... she tried, it didn't work, you take care of her and she tried again... sleeping pill, wrist cutting, all that. Fortunately she's still alive... I can't even remember why she was so depressing...
I think somehow i am attracted to girls who's broken inside...- easy to feel needed, there are two sides to co-dependency, the rock & the needyalbums
- ya... i genuinely wanted to heal and help her. Then soon realized it's beyond me.pango
- had a cutter once, super hot, but damn crazy as bat shitmoldero
- bookstore girl from above used to have me scratch scars into her arm. says she still has 'em. kinda crazyscarabin
- she was a catholic school girl btw...pango
- mekk0
met a girl at a party and hat a date with her the next week. turned out she was about twice my age. then she was constantly talking about some universe and engery shit. and tried to read from my hands
- eoin0
I only noticed after the date that she had six fingers on each hand. I told my friend about it and he said he used to work with her, they called her Speed Dial...
- sooo ummm.... how was "it"?pango
- That sounds really mean, and I didn't date her again, but it wasn't because of the fingers, she was a terrible kisser.eoin
- @pango it didn't go further than a bit of a snogeoin
- oh.. disappointing... :(pango
- should have made it a point to get a hand job from a 6 fingered womanmoldero
- what moldy said.pango
- Notedeoin
- Was this man following you?
http://www.onlygoodm…ETM
- vaxorcist0
Once upon a time in art school.... I had a crush on a very goth woman with a foreign accent.. she and I went to a bar, she ordered a guinnes... and she kept checking out the other women there, whispering to me and admiring the women's anatomy... especially their asses .... quite vocally, in great detail... yes...she was telling me she was a lesbian... we became good friends and later were regulars at a bar where we played pool, and ....went there to check out the women...
- Frosty_spl0
When I was 18, I met this kinda thick half korean girl at a church function. She was a terrible kisser. We ended up going out on our first date to somewhere normal, then went back to her place (lived with her parents still). I fingered her on the couch for an hour. When her parents came home, she blew me in the back yard.
Today, she is a catholic school teacher.
- AWESOME!necromation
- i knew a kinda thick half korean girl. we called her korean snooki... ya kinda mean...pango
- necromation0
I dated a this girl for a few months back in the early 90's, we
had been to this hardcore rave and we went back to hers.We was sleeping on her sofa in the livingroom we was both
buzzing, and after about an hour of messing around we feel
asleep... And i had the toilet dream and piss all over her back
and sofa.Oh how we laughed.
- cannonball19780
I went out with a girl who made me punch her in the leg when we finally got around to doing the dirty. Something about getting a charlie horse got her off.
- pango0
can we count how many stories here are related to catholic school girls?
- TheGreatGlorpo0
It's better to tell a friends story. I guess it was a date. More like a date in time he'll always remember.
He'd been with these two chicks all night and one of them really wanted to fuck him. They were super drunk and got the wise idea to drive to the gambling boats in Indiana. As he's driving, the girl who wanted to fuck him is in the passenger seat and starts with a BJ. Feeling like the girl in the back was being left out, he reaches back with his hand and starts fingering her through her skirt. How he's driving and not dying, who knows.
So they gamble a bit, drink more, then drive back to the city. The girl who wanted to fuck him had to go to work in the morning and he had to drop her off at her parents or something, then take the other girl home. Well, that girl started begging to have sex with him. He wanted none of it. She thought it best to insult him for being a guy and not taking free pussy, like he wasn't a man or something. Well, that did it alright and he pulled into a bank parking lot in a busy intersection and they fucked right there in the backseat of the car as the sun was coming up. He was not going to let a girl insult him like that.
- I did that last night. The two drunk fiends having sex with one of them in her car in the hotel car park. It was a good time.eoin
- set0
Weirdest girl I ever went on a date with texted me everytime I left for even 2 minutes. I'd go to the toilet and get a text asking how long I was going to be, or when I went to the bar she'd text me saying 'double vodka tonic, remember? How long you going to be?'
fucking weird one.
- orrinward20
1. Dabbled in online dating at one point. We'd been speaking to each other online for 2 months and we got on great. Mainly email with a bit of Skype video chat stuff. She suggested we go out for dinner. We meet up for dinner and she was just incredibly shy and would only have 1-word responses to my questions. As we finished dinner and were about to part ways she kissed me and told me how great a time she'd had. I swear I didn't get a full sentence out of her the whole time...
2. Maybe the 2nd or 3rd date with my missus of nearly 4 years. She worked bar at a fetish club in SW London and it was my first time on the scene. On a break she and I were fooling around in one of the 'glory hole' areas. While I was being taken care of down under I had a look through the 'booby grope' bit and just saw a naked bearded old fat dude in big leather boots in the corner fapping. To this day I remember the old men at those clubs as 'santa who has lost his clothes'...
- orrinward20
3. Not a date as such. I was hooking up with this eastern european girl in a club one night and it was really fun. She says her friends have a table so she took me in to a private room behind a curtain. There were a bunch of smartly dressed guys and girls and a fucking brick of cocaine on the table. It turns out her brother was in some sort of mob (I presume) and one of the guys asked me if I wanted to try some of the coke. When I said no he picked up a jacket on the table to reveal a gun and insisted I took some. That was the scariest moment in my life. I was 19. This was in a pretty well-known club in London too...
- So did you?SunSunSun
- you seem to have scary and awesome confusedset
- Did I what? Do the coke? If a man has a gun and cocaine and tells you to do cocaine you do cocaine.orrinward2
- yep, the coke. haha, scary assholes they must have been.SunSunSun
- Moral of the story: never pass up free cocainetFour
- moral of the story: even if you prefer diet, you drink the regular coke when a gun is involved.bigtrick
- CanHasQBN0
I had a blind date once. She said she couldn't see me anymore.
- Beeswax0
I found this girl on the net and we met at a crowded cafe where all the tables were so close to each other.
It was pretty uncomfortable having that introductory conversation. She had a lot of really bright colored make-up and in the first 10 minutes she pulled out her harmonica and started playing some song that I guess she made up. Everybody was looking at us. I wanted to just get up and runaway. I didn't, gave her a ride to her house in a sketchy neighborhood.