site crit please
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- leftwave
hello, i'm working on a homepage for a startup nutrition company. client wants something clean and airy that shows healthy lifestyles.
what do you think so far?
http://leftwave.com/indevelopmen…
- capn_ron0
looks like a good start leftwave. The mark came out really nice. Here are a couple things I see
The red is too close to blood, something more natural or lighter might fit better. Everything seems large, meaning the navigation and the footer info. And lastly, I would break up the text into two columns, it just seems too long right now.
Just my 2 cents.
- btw, +1,000,000 for posting a working link! :)decisionman
- leadtrum0
The nav rollover state needs to give the text a little breathing room. It looks odd when it buts up against the bottom of the text like that.
- ********0
bump down that nav text size by one or two. and what they ^^ said.
- ********0
you could keep the red color, and then change the color for every page. keep the light blue consistent though.
- nocomply0
it does have a "clean and airy" vibe to it so far but it still needs some work.
The logo is cool, but maybe rethink that blue a bit because it's a little hard to read against the white. Same with the blue copy below it.
all and all it's a good start, just a bit minimalistic for my taste. I would work on a few small details and embellishments...not sure exactly what to tell you though. Maybe another little blurb of text so it's not just 1 chunk all the way across.
maybe make those photos below the copy fade in and out via a flash rotator or something. Just something to give it a little more life.
- jaylarson0
too red white and blue.
i recommend earth tones
on the rollover, there isn't much padding underneath the text.
the body copy is a bit light to comfortably read. given web copy is more scanned than print. but it is too light.
- ukit0
I like the logo and the type you are using, as well as the overall feel of the thing. The blue and the brown work quite well together.
What seems off to me is the page layout. The nav hanging up there all by itself and then the tagline down there at the bottom pulling your attention away.
I'd try pulling the logo up to be flush with the nav, have the image part directly below that, and then the text below the image. I'd work the tagline into the image rather than being separate. Also as others said, darken the body copy so it's more readable. It's a good start though.
- dbloc0
the color green says nutrition to me or earth tones. the light blue makes me think of a water company.
- ComicSans_Rocks0
Nice color palette & logo. I would adjust body text below logo symbol to flow under "nao nutrition" not the symbol. Use a thinner rule between the navigation. Make navigation text a little smaller. Slide the "Nourishing a brighter future" copy to align left below the text in "nao nutrition". Looks nice otherwise:)
- trooper0
its gonna blow for SEO dude... not enough text!
if you're not bothered about search engine results then simplify the top statement and make the text bigger.
the nav looks a little tacked on and needs some attention.
id also put something bottom left like a trade association or 'green' glyph in support of something.
- leftwave0
thanks! i have my work cut out now...
- pr20
very nice but u probbaly gonna run in some "negative space issues" when there is more content on the page. Plus as it is i think the lines of text are a bit too long.
- leftwave0
is this better???
- Luuk0
It's better than the previous version, but I think you should change the red on the left and right side. Both pictures are quite fresh, but you lose some of that freshness by using this color. Maybe it's an idea to put a white line between the pictures and the red rectangles?
The navtxt could be a little bit smaller, maybe not all caps. Might fit the 'friendly' atmosphere of the company.
good luck
- horton0
i'd bum the brown form the logo into the left side box.. will break up the red and integrate the corp colors into a nice 3 color harmony.
- oops; *bump not "bum", and *from not "form" :)horton
- or just use the brown in place of the red boxes and save the red for smaller details, and highlights.horton
- i agree with horton on the usage of brownjaylarson
- Agree with 2/2thismanslife
- Make that 2/X
I'm an idiot.thismanslife
- thismanslife0
I agree with an earlier remark about the body text stretching too wide, maybe try keeping it the width of the larger image, over too the left, leave space to the right, or maybe put the "call today" text in that area. Either way, I do think the line-length is too much (think about how many words you're using per line - what you have there is a bit of a typo-no-no).
Also I'd perhaps raise the logo up slightly off the bar, give it more space ie. give it more visual weight/importance in the page - it's a pretty healthy size, which gives it weight, but feel like it needs a tiny bit more breathing space - try leaving a gap beneath it of about the same height as a lowercase character from the logo.
Also agree that the nav text is a little too large, and, maybe worsened by the use of all caps.
- univers0
I think your type hierarchy is a little off. For example I think your linkage is a little big and actually competes with the logo mark.
Nice aesthetic.
- decisionman0
Don't forget that you're as much a designer as all of us (am I a designer?) ... so don't go on these comments alone.
Solid site design. I agree the top nav is a bit clunky -- too much weight. Also, the phone number (IMO) is in itself a pretty strong call to action -- might not need the "call today".
Again, my 2 cents, yours are more important. :)
- thismanslife0
Oh and, the brown in the logo and the red seem to be fighting for "which one is right"... feels odd that there's no other brown in the layout, but there is a tint of the blue.
- dbloc0
what will the secondary pages look like?