I am...
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- robotron3k0
it just sounds to me like you need to do some volunteer work. it can really help put your life into perspective and you might even be a little more appreciative of the things you have
if that doesn't work, you can always drop a few hundred at a strip club, that's always good for a few hours of distraction
- vespa0
"oxytocin induced pairbonding system"
omg kuz do you use that as a pickup line?
- monkeyshine0
Nic, I've been in your shoes before and in the course of a 13 year relationship, I've also been in your partner's shoes too. Do you really not know why she's feeling this way? What's your role in this? When I left, I felt that I had been really taken for granted. Maybe your wife feels that your role of trying to get her back still reflects the situation that made her leave...meaning that it's still about you, not her and her happiness. Dunno if this is the case but that was how I felt and it ultimately validated my reasons for leaving. Have you guys gone to couples therapy?
- jevad0
wow...so much to process and take in. So much wisdom and help. Thank you all so much for taking the time to write what you have. It has given me a much better perspective and really cleared my vision somewhat.
Thank you so much
- spendogg0
Chin up nic - sounds like you are in the right frame of mind to deal with this. I am sending you positive vibes and good thoughts. If you need anything you know where i am at. peace bro.
- ********0
we're all in your corner.
you got a posse
- kelpie0
you got a posse
letters
(Feb 6 07, 08:53)I don't think we need to go that far ;)
good luck nic, you'll sort through it ok
- grunttt0
jevad, you've posted threads in the past when you've found yourself in a bad place in your life. You actually sound quite clear and positive today (or was that yesterday?). I wish you the best.
- grunttt0
=)
- Leigh0
shit sorry to hear this dude... i remember when you got married and moved to Denver... it looked like you had it made.
i'm going through the same thing at the moe...we're "having a break". But it feels like i'm the only one try to save us.
I wish you all the best!
- gramme0
Let me ask you this though - if you thought something was worth fighting for...if you knew in your heart and I mean really KNEW in your heart and mind that things were worth saving...that there was still something there to build something on - even if the other party involved couldn't see that or didn't want to...would you fight?
Would you fight to save it, or let it go and hope it came back sometime?
Or just let it go...and move on with life.
jevad
(Feb 5 07, 16:28)I'd say it's a bit of a gray area in most relationships, but marriage is unique. Regardless of what sort of wedding ceremony you had, there were some vows made that were legally, emotionally and spiritually binding. I say fight until the end, even if she doesn't. It might hurt more, but at least you'll be able to respect yourself at the end of the day.
The only caveat I would give would be if there was repeated infidelity. In my opinion, that behavior renders a marriage covenant null and void. That's just me.
I really, sincerely hope things improve for you Jevad. Even if she doesn't reciprocate, you can focus on putting your best interest aside for hers. I think true manhood is defined by self-sacrifice and steafastness, and those are things you can display until the end. That's the kind of husband I hope to be for my wife, at any rate.
Best,
gramme
- jevad0
I know I wasn't the best husband that I could have been. I've been selfish and shallow and very self-centered. Combine that with my lack of communication skills and my penchant for depressive mood swings..and really...I can't blame her.
The thing is - if there weren't problems - this wouldn't be happening.
So maybe it's for the best - maybe it will allow two people who lost themselves in a bad relationship find themselves again. And maybe each other ultimately...but if not..as long as they both are happy...that's ok.
- ********0
to a certain extent I think in our culture people are expected to feel guilty for biological tendencies like depression. Everybody's different; variety makes the world go round. Should you feel bad about yourself if you are missing a toe? Is everything about comparison of yourself to an imaginary "better" you?
- jevad0
You're twisting my melon man
I think I need a holiday
- -scarabin-0
integrity is for movie characters
selling out is for the successful, rich, and famous
- material-10
I know I wasn't the best husband that I could have been. I've been selfish and shallow and very self-centered. Combine that with my lack of communication skills and my penchant for depressive mood swings..and really...I can't blame her.
pretty much describes me :|
- Chimp0
Some times it helps to focus on something else and transfer your energy across from that project. Its a hard thing to do when you can see its not you that is turning the project into a pile of poo.
- -scarabin-0
oh, this is a relationship thread
ignore previous
- jevad0
Well kyle...you know where it got me.
At the very least I can say this - everyday we have on this earth is a gift. Make a difference - make people feel special - tell them their hair looks nice today...tell them you like their new shoes...notice something about them and make a positive comment. Take them out for a romantic, quiet dinner and tell them you LOVE them and really MEAN it.
Because one day you might not get a chance to anymore, and you'll kick yourself for all the times you didn't.
- ********0
Clarence,
Always remember:
Don't rush in,