biz card crit v2
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- 17 Responses
- jaylarson
Dear Nt,
Please have a look at this recent version of a business card I am working on. Slam it, cut it, praise it, just give me the reasons why you think so.
http://www.writersblood.com/pdfs…
Thanks for your time and efforts (again).
Jay
- aliceblue0
looks nice and crisp and I can see you took everyone's comments to make it better.
HMA and homeopath don't seem to line up. visually, for me.
And "Off" and "Em" seem like strange shortforms?
Just personally, I don't care for 2 or 3 if they are meant to be the flip side.
- holmes0
Out of 2 and 3 i like 2 more, i dont really like the graphic on 3.
I agree with aliceblue about the off and em bit as well. Maybe fix the kerning a bit in the homeopathic Healing.
great start though!
- jaylarson0
thanks you aliceblue and holmes.
how would either of you, and the rest of the nt community display office and email? Would you spell out office (since leaving out cell and office may be confusing) and email? Would removing 'email' altogether be a plus?
thanks... now to work on my kerning....
- Point50
I'm not digging the kerning or the background image of the leaf. I think that the nice graphic of the leaf that you implemented gets that "natural" point across just fine. And yeah, the abbreviations are a bit awkward... I have nothing against abbreviating, just have to do it the right way. Maybe m for mobile and o for office, then like you mentioned, leave out the email term all together and just run the email address under the abbreviations and phone numbers since it's so long to begin with; it will balance out that section a bit more
- republik80
A vast improvement.
However, Off and Em don't work.
- Baskerville0
Firstly why upload a 1.3MB pdf when a jpeg will do?
The woman is obviously not particularly professional since she has a gmail address. This means her business card need to make her look more professional. At the moment it is pitched about the level I would expect of someone who's a bit small time. But she deserves better.
The design can be vastly improved by taking away the leaf images. Try a green bg and no photos. Maybe the leaf icon. Also Why have you got so many paragraph styles going on left-aligned and right-aligned and centred.
Need cleaning up.
- Bluejam0
i'd retire the leaf photography onto the 'back' of the card and have no text, just the image.
Keep the 'front' of the card plain white and reorder the info so that it's read from one side only. i'd drop 'off' 'em' ...etc.
- phatlee0
Your typography has been cleaned up and has improved since I last saw it. Personally I wouldn't use the image, if I had too, I'd design a 2sided card, image on one side and the text on the other. Overall, big improvement.
- pyeaton0
Hi:
Another chime going off for you.
I like the leaf background idea, however, I would try to soften it. First, this is going to be a 4 color print job. Second, the leaf background, pulls away from the logo "branch" which is their identity. What I would do, (only a suggestion) is to vectorize the leaf, and assign it a PMS color. I would also use a cleaner font. The font is way cool, but not really what I would picture for homeopathic healing. Try a serif font in there. And last, but not least, I would stack all the information. Addy, phone, title and name. Keep a very simple and clean grid, which will in turn smooth the design for a homeopathic identity.
Good luck.
- ross0
Homeopathic Kerning
- jaylarson0
thanks everybody. i am having some difficulty with kerning. i have schooling, i've read 3/4 tuts on the net, and nothing seems to help. i wish there was another resource that could help me with "homeopathic kerning" (thanks ross, that was funny).
any help on this would be dandy.
i plan to post a couple of versions later. again, thankies!
j
- gramme0
anks everybody. i am having some difficulty with kerning. i have schooling, i've read 3/4 tuts on the net, and nothing seems to help. i wish there was another resource that could help me with "homeopathic kerning" (thanks ross, that was funny).
any help on this would be dandy.
i plan to post a couple of versions later. again, thankies!
j
jaylarson
(Sep 20 06, 10:13)What I do to check the kerning:
In Illustrator or Freehand or whatever, flip the logotype upside down & backwards. Relax your eyes and try to read the glyphs as abstract shapes instead of letters. You should notice a few things there.
Print out your logo, put it on the floor, and look at it from every angle. Kerning never looks the same when printed.
I agree with the people that say ditch the photo. It's redundant with the logo and doesn't really do anything to push the idea of healing. I'd say make the back a solid green PMS color with knocked-out type.
I agree with everything Baskerville said. Cheers & good luck!
- PonyBoy0
not digging the white over the leaves...
... make the hole card leaves on the front and back and reverse out your info on the leaves?
I dunno... it just feels like you're mixing organic shapes w/some rather unflattering typography and additional graphics (the green lines etc... they 'kill' the beauty of the organic shapes)...
... draw more attention to the organic qualities in your graphics... and less 'stern' shapes and typography mixed in...
... i doubt any of that makes sense..
... my point is... the imagery (the leaves... the organic feel that you're trying to 'push' to enhance the 'homeopathetic' aspect) are fighting with your type and the shapes you chose to hold your type in place... it's just not an effective balance..
... my suggestion is to lose some of the lines and boxi-ness... prettier fonts too (a beautiful serif that says 'organic'/'homeopathic' and not 'techno medical')...
- Rand0
how about front side, icon only, no photo background except within the icon. Backside, photograph full bleed with icon dropped out in exact same position as front
and maybe look around for a less harsh leaf pattern
- nocomply0
I like the front design. Nice logo there. Have you tried it without those leaf borders on the top and bottom? Might look cleaner that way.
As for the 2 flipside images...not quite feeling those as much.
- jaylarson0
again, thanks guys. sorry the image is a pdf.
i hope to fix kerning issues. i want to stick with a sans serif here, (and I might try a light helvetica, but if anyone has a specific font recommendation, I am open to it!)
i am also experimenting with a solid green card with screened fonts, and a highly transparent image of the vector leaf graphic... more later.
again, thanks.
- gramme0
I don't recommend a gothic sans like Helvetica, it's too cold. You need something with a humanist flair and/or rounded edges, etc.:
http://www.processtypefoundry.co…
http://www.underware.nl/site2/in…
http://www.underware.nl/site2/in…
and so on...