Joke?
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- Teeuwen0
What's blue and fucks old ladies?
Me in my lucky blue coat.
- Teeuwen0
What's got 100 balls and fucks old ladies?
Bingo.
- Teeuwen0
How do you get a Granny to shout "Cunt!"?
Get another one to shout "Bingo".
- Teeuwen0
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
- mattyd040
A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Boston courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Boston Red Sox, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone.
- Teeuwen0
What did the blind man say about the cheese grater?
He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
- Teeuwen0
What's got 4 legs and 1 arm?
A doberman in a kiddies playground
- Teeuwen0
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
- Teeuwen0
I went to the zoo.
There was only one dog there.It was a shitzu.
- Teeuwen0
Did you hear about the man with five penises?
His pants fit like a glove.
- Teeuwen0
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
- Teeuwen0
Had me first blow job today.
Fucking five whiskeys and I still can't get rid of the taste.
- Teeuwen0
If a girl is uncomfortable watching you wank, is it because:
A. She is a prude
B. You don't know her well enoughor
C.*drumroll
You should have sat somewhere else on the bus
*badabing!
- Teeuwen0
If you have a donkey and I have a rooster and your donkey eats the feet off my rooster, what do we have?
2 feet of my cock in your ass!
- mg330
Those are miserable johndiggity!
- johndiggity0
ha!
- mg330
Reminds me of this "clean comic" I've seen on a Christian channel before, some guy who sells comedy videos that are "great for the whole family" or something.
Wish I could remember who it is, his jokes are just awful.
- mg330
OMG when I read these jokes, i form the worst image of the person who would actually laugh at them:
I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.
I had the cab driver drive me here backwards, and the dude owed me $27.50.
Dogs are forever in the push-up position.
- Teeuwen0
I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.
i don't get it..