Need jokes
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- whoohaa0
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
“Breast fed,” the woman replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is under weight! You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his grandmother, but I’m glad I came.”
- chossy0
There was a man who fancied a girl he was shy and she was brave, he finaly managed to pull off a stunt she was impressed and showed him her................
CUNT
- clone0
why did the chicken put underwear over its head
to cover up its pecker
- story0
A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, and the easter bunny walks across the street and saw a $10 bill, who picks it up?
The dumb blonde, the other two doesn't exsist.
- clone0
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?Michael Jackson.
- chossy0
Knock knock
clones a muckle piff.
- clone0
A little eight year old boy is distraught because his parents have just been killed in a horrible car accident. He had no other family, so he is now an orphan, doomed to a life on the streets. He's sitting in the gutter in the pouring rain, sobbing his little heart out, with no money and no hope, cold and freezing and soaking wet.
Suddenly, a stretch limousine pulls up and out steps Michael Jackson.
"Hey, what's up little fella?" says a kindly Jackson. The little orphan boy tells Jackson his tragic story.
A look of pity on Jackson's face,he pats the little boy on the head and then drops his trousers and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
- mattyd0
from entensity.net:
A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fucking checking account"
To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?"
"Listen damnit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account right now."
"I'm sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"
The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 100 million bucks in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin' checking account at this damn bank!"
"I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"
- gruntt0
a door-to-door salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. A 5 year old boy answers with a cigarette in one hand a bottle of bourdon in the other and a porn mag under his arm.
The startled salesman says "Son, are you're parents home?!"
The boy says, "What the fuck do you think?"
- clone0
A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor.
The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them."The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crackers in your neck."
- chossy0
This pony walks into a bar and the barman says why the long face..........
the pony says I'm off to the glue factory tomorrow.
- clone0
# What's Mary short for?
# She's got no legs.
- clone0
# Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
# If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
- BikeMaker0
Why did the chicken?
- paraselene0
why did the pervert cross the road?
his cock was stuck in the chicken
- paraselene0
a rabbi, a priest, a duck and a blonde walk into a bar and the bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"
- ********0
A black man, a pakistani, and an irish man walk into a bar
what a fine example of a multicultural society that is.
- Peter0
A couple of comedians didn't walk into Newstoday.com
- donal0
whats the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
theres 20 of them.