seinfeld
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- sureshot0
The Pez Dispenser..
and the HELLOOOOO!!! ep.
- ganon0
Ron: Twenty bucks.
Newman: Twenty bucks?!? Are you out of your mind?
Ron: Well, take it or leave it.
Newman: Take it or leave it!? We got *Al Jolson* here, *Al Jolson*!!
Ron: Now what the Hell do I care about Al Jolson. I'd just assume her
you sing "Mammy". Heh heh heh...
Kramer: [In Newman's ear] This guy's nothin' but a piece of crap...
Newman: You are nothing but a piece of crap.
Ron: Pardon me?
Kramer: [In Newman's ear] A piece of crap...
Newman: A piece of crap.
Kramer: [In Newman's ear] I find you extremely ugly...
Newman: I find you extremely ugly.
Ron: *Do* you?
Kramer: [In Newman's ear] You emit a foul and unpleasant odour...
Newman: You emit a foul and unpleasant odour.
Ron: Oh, is that right?
Kramer: [In Newman's ear] I *loathe* you...
Newman: I *loathe* you.
Ron: That's it. Get out of my store!
Kramer: [In Newman's ear] Make us.
Newman: Make us!
Ron: Oh, I'll make you!
ps...there is no way this thread should be less than 100....
- brandelec0
everytime kramer says 'giddyup!'
- brandelec0
when puddy accused elaine of stealing his jesus fish and elaine goes 'yea! that's right!!' and does a demon expression!!
bahahahaha
- Crankshaft0
The Summer of George...eating a big block of cheese in his boxers.
- brandelec0
when kramer starts a smoking club in his apartment!!!!
and jerry sees him and tells him his face looks like an old catcher's mitt BAHAHAHA
kramer: 'look away.. i'm hideous'
BAHAHAHA
- acorado0
the Kramer.
- Crankshaft0
brandelec YES!!!!! That is one of the funniest...
How about Elaine and Rachel Welch in the catfight??
- ganon0
Puddy enters wearing a Devils' jersey and red and green paint all over his face.
Elaine: What the--
Puddy: So what do you think?
Elaine: What is that?
Puddy: I painted my face.
Elaine (still in disbelief): You painted your face?
Puddy: Yeah.
Elaine: Why?
Puddy: You know, support the team.
Elaine: Well, you can't walk around like that.
Puddy: Why not?
Elaine: Because it's insane?
Puddy: Hey, you gotta let them know you're out there, this is the playoffs.
There's a knock at the door, Puddy answers it. It's Jerry and Kramer. Kramer
enters first and does a typical 'Kramer take' when he sees Puddy's painted face.
He recovers quickly.Kramer: Hey.
Puddy: Hey.
Elaine: Dave, um, painted his face.
Kramer: Yeah, that's cool. Well, you gotta support your team.
Puddy: Ok, ready to go?
Kramer: Yeah.
Puddy (startlingly loud): LET'S GET IT ON!!! Alright!! Go Devils!! Go
Devils!! Let's go Devils!!
- Crankshaft0
I think one of the best lines of the whole series is when Jerry is confessing to Father:
Jerry: I think he converted to Judaism for the jokes
Father: And this offends you as a Jew?
Jerry: No, this offends me as a comedian!
Just a brilliant line!
- VBS0
I'm sorry I'm not familiar with that term
- buddylee0
Remember the time Jerry, George and Kramer pull a train on Elaine?
- -leah-0
the episode where george and elaine go without sex, george becomes a genious and elaine becomes really stupid.
George: Hey.
Jerry: Where have you been? You know, you're on next.
George: I got lost on the way over.
Jerry: Got lost? We went to school here for three years.
George: What are these? (Holds test tubes to his head like antennae) Take me to your leader.
Jerry: Oh my God. You had sex. You had sex with Louise!
George: No, the Portuguese waitress.
Jerry: The Portuguese waitress?
George: I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.
- brandelec0
van buren boys: show us the sign then
george does a funny no sense sign
van buren boys: that's not the sign.
george: it was when i was bangin'!!
- brandelec0
the subway episode was genuis!!
*Elaine is still trapped in a stopped train.*
Elaine's voice: Oh, this is great. This is what I need, just what I need. Ok, take it easy I'm sure it's nothing. Probably rats on the track, we're stopping for rats. God, it's so crowded. How can there be so many people?This guy really smells, doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city? What is so hard, you take the cap off, you roll it on. What's that? I feel something rubbing against me. Disgusting animals, these people should be in a cage. We are in a cage. What if I miss the wedding? I got the ring.
What'll they do? You can't get married without the ring.Oh, I can't breath, I feel faint. Take it easy, it'll start moving soon. Think about the people on the concentration camps, what they went through. And
hostages, what would you do if you were a hostage? Think about that. This is nothing. No, it's not nothing, it's something. It's a nightmare! Help me! Move it! Com'on move this fu(beep) thing!! Why isn't it moving?!? What
can go wrong with a train!?! It's on tracks, there's no traffic! How can a train get stuck. Step on the gas!! What could it be? You'de think the
conductor would explain it to us? 'I'm sorry there's a delay we'll be moving in 5 minutes'!! I wanna hear a voice. What's that on my leg?!!*Lights in the train go off*
- bulletfactory0
*Puddy and his 8-ball jacket*
Elaine: What is that?
Puddy: It's my new coat.
Elaine: You ditched the fur?
Puddy: Yeah, I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy. Check it out! 8-Ball! You got a question, you ask the 8-Ball.
Elaine: You're gonna wear this all the time?
Puddy: All signs point to 'Yes!'
- Crankshaft0
City planner......
What is an architect anyway but an art school flunky
- brandelec0
Elaine's voice: Why couldn't I take a cab. For 6 dollars my whole life could've changed. What is that on my leg? I'll never get out of here. What
if I'm here for the rest of my life? Maybe I'll get out in 5 seconds. 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana, 5 banana...no, I'm still here! Still
here! Why don't they start moving? Move! Move!! Move!!! *Train starts
moving, lights get back on* It's moving! It's moving! Yes! Yes!! *Train stops again and lights go off*Motherf(beep-beep)!!!
- bulletfactory0
JERRY: It's a cigar store Indian. (to Elaine) Read the card.
ELAINE: (examines card) (embarrassed) That's very nice. Thank you very much.
JERRY: Read it out loud.
ELAINE: I, I don't think so.
JERRY: (takes the card from Elaine) We had a little fight this afternoon.
(reading from card) Let's bury the hatchet. We smoke um peace pipe.WINONA: (gathering her stuff) Hey, you know, it's late. I really should go.
ELAINE: I, uh, I don't blame you Winona. I, uh...
Jerry begins rocking the Indian back and forth, making the stereotypical movie
Indian chant.JERRY: Hey-yah, ho-ah, hey-yah, ho-ah.
Winona leaves, looking offended.
- Crankshaft0
Jerry: Who?
Elaine: Vegetable lasagna
...I can hear you