Break ups
- Started
- Last post
- 115 Responses
- kbags0
Pull up, pull up...you're flying too low!
The last sentence is key, amigo. The bottom line is that you have to move on with your life and not base any decisions on what she may or may not do when it's convenient for her.
Understand that you will go back and forth for a little while until you move on naturally. Even if you think you're over her in a month, you'll still have weak moments. Just recognize them for what they are and know that you'll be okay--it may not be for a little while, but the sooner you start to focus on thinking positively about yourself as a single man, the sooner your life is going to be positive on a full-time basis.
- tfsmag0
canada and europe?!?!?!??!
holy crap.... i'd never stay true to that relationship.
- fifty500
well we both stayed true to our relationship... for almost three years. three years this june actually. I keep remembering all the moments we had together over the years. the moment we met... our first kiss, etc...
neither of us cheated. it was love in its purest form... at least i thought it was. 6 months ago apparently she started having doubts, and now i can never have her back. i would have spent my life with her.
- beingdevious0
be glad you didnt spend 2 nights in jail. i did. and i didnt do anything, SHe hit ME with the rearview mirror! oh, i did lots of drinking, messed up a firendship with a girl at work, fell in love again, still am alone, and i now have 2 roomates in a 1bdrm apt. jagermiester is my best friend
- _A_Dub0
sorry to hear it man,
You can't go back, only forward. Be weak when you need to, be strong when you can.
- _A_Dub0
sorry to hear it man,
You can't go back, only forward. Be weak when you need to, be strong when you can.
- contribute0
kbags, I think you should write a book on this topic. seriously, that was some good language skills there.
- Nac0
Listen to what everyone here is saying, I was in an almost 6 relationship that ended, its tough, and you feel numb abnd distraught im sure. However utilize that feeling to your advantage, like design, or write, whatever that will keep your mind occupied and eventually get you through everything =)
- xrusos0
fly to europe and win her back.
the key is to buy a one way ticket. round trippers will send you packin'.
for real, if she's the one, go get her.
(no, no! not in a wierd stalking way!)
- xrusos0
if she's really not the one though... then listen to kbags.
(all except the get laid and drink yourself silly parts)
- ozhanlion0
if you are really feeling she is the one, I think it is time to be strong now.
Give some time to yourself and to her. Maybe couple of one night relationships. Let yourselves enjoy the life, or spend it as it is, some time, if she is the one, you are going to realize it sooner or later. listen kglad, self-confidence is the key. Don't lose it or you are gonna lose it yourself.
try new patterns of addiction/habits. Change them randomly to wash away the previous ones.
you can do these thinking she is the one and one day you will be get together again but there is another way I mentioned in the beginning.
you think that she is the one, go get 'er. That's a fucking life, you move or you don't move. 80 years later we won't be here talking.
good luck
- midori0
ok, about 2 years ago i was in the same boat. a long relationship and she up and left. i couldnt understand and just couldnt believe that i could never be with her again. yet somehow i slowly got things back in order by doing a combination of what people have said here (exercise, music, do everything kbags said). and sure enough just like my friends had been telling me all along i started to feel like things were gettin a little better. but i must say, what is gonna fix this better than anything will be just waiting it out. time will fix everything, even though time is probably going slow as hell for you now. but a year from now or less you will be very happy with yourself, another great girl, or both i hope and your ex-girl will seem so far away.
personal music recomendation: Jim O'Rourke - "Therefore, I Am"
- fifty500
Things with this girl should not have turned out this way...
If only I had done the things I had promised to do, like learn German and find a firm over there for a co-op then none of this would have happened. Her biggest complaint about me was that she thought I didn't put enough effort into the relationship by NOT learning German and by NOT finding a firm in Germany by myself, cause she did everything by herself too. She felt she did all the work in the relationship and that I was always waiting for things to fall into my lap.
Now I guess it's too little too late, but I think that maybe if I still learned German, found a firm over there to do a co-op at for a few months and maybe if she visited me a few times in Munich then she would realize that we are meant to be.
I know she is The One, I feel that every time I am with her, and every time I look into her eyes. I screwed up, and I wish i could turn back time to learn German earlier so that none of this would have happened.
Thanks for all your advice, guys... anybody know a good place in the Mississauga (Ontario) area to learn German? Or would anyone know of any Graphic Design firms in Munich that might accept someone like me?
- fifty500
so what do you guys think that she still wants to stay in contact and still wants me to visit her all the way over in germany from canada? Some of my friends believe that she still loves me, but she's just going through a stressful time in her life right now and has no capacity to deal with a long distance relationship...
Would it be a good idea for me to drop everything here in Canada and try to live in Munich for a few months on the off-chance that she might realize that she still loves me?
- brooke0
It's always difficult for the person who's doing the breaking up, too. Whatever you do, don't act like a dick or a psycho because you never know how things will turn out.
- brooke0
By the way, breaking up with someone because they didn't learn German for you is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Two to three years into a relationship begins a real test of strength & endurance. Not to scare you or hurt your feelings, I'll bet she was unhappy for other more logical reasons.
- nuarmy0
breakups suck dude. i just got dumped on saturday. i know how you feel.
- fifty500
Well i know that the stress of her education has really gotten to her over the past year, maybe clouding her judgement. Her grandfather (she lives with her grandparents) might have cancer and might not have much time left.
She said she can't balance between the three lives she's been living: one in Weiden where she lives with her grandparents, the 2nd in Regensburg where she goes to school, and the 3rd here in Canada with me.
She said it's bad enough when she's at school and I'm visiting her and she has to worry about entertaining me when she has to study. I hope one day she'll realize that we're meant to be together, but I have to wait until she finds the path in life she is supposed to be on.
So, would going to germany to find work be a good idea? I'd basically be going there so that we could be close to each other and try to restart our relationship...
- fifty500
saturday for me too... 2 months short of three years.
- brooke0
Ah--I suppose I should've read through this thread before responding. I understand now. The distance is hard. Let her go find her way in the world. Try not to communicate with her for awhile because it will be very hard for you & will probably just cause more drama, confusion & heartache.
Good luck to you. Keep your chin up. Do things that make you happy. If you're meant to be, as they say, it'll all come together in its right place.