Break ups
- Started
- Last post
- 115 Responses
- fifty50
sorry for the off-topic post, but my girlfriend of three years just broke up with me. i am incredibly depressed right now, can anyone give me some advice?
- mrdobolina0
sorry to hear about it, call up some of your old friends and hit the bar.
- Soler0
you're better off. being with someone who doesn't want to or vice versa makes it even harder later. just be glad you didn't marry her. the pain will pass.
maybe go fur a run or go shopping for your favorite meal and spend a long time making yourself some good food at home.
- fifty500
I actually want to go out with my best friends and buy myself a guitar. i've been learning on my friend's guitar and now i want my own. either that or a drum kit. banging on the skins can be a good stress reliever.
- K_Fresh0
Get some highlights, a manicure, and go bang. Oh wait, that's what my ex gf did. Bastard.
- mitee_0
bangin on other skins is always a great stress reliever.
- woodyBatts0
Johnny Cash
The Smiths
Kind of Like Spitting
and the finally move onto
Billy Idol
Dio
Pantera
and then back to
Johnny CashSuffer,Anger, Strength
I have been there bro, sorry.
- fifty500
i think i'll listen to Lagwagon's newest and Clarity by Jimmy Eat World
- warheros0
whatever you do, dont listen to pinkerton, it will only make you more depressed.
read the tao, get a guitar: shred.
- tripleflux0
The best thing to do is not to be a whiney bitch for too long. Go hit the bar with friends and get laid. If you catch yourself listening to the Smiths, then you've gone way too far.
- murmur0
Goldfinger. Listen to a bit of goldfinger. Almost all of his songs are on point.
Also, just keep on truckin' like keep doin what you do, don't stop if you'r a writer write, if you draw go and draw, if your a fighter go fight. Just keep on going and the pain will pass.
Sorry man, good luck.
- pepe0
dude i just got dumped a week ago after two years, it sucks... some days are better than others, just take it one day at a time. hopefully it will get better
- buddylee0
"Get a cat."
- _salisae_0
my ex of 2 1/2 yrs. and i decided to break up - but we still hook up from time to time - just until one of us has moved on.
sounds like playing with fire - but so much less painful than losing your love and your best friend at the same moment.
make your intent to meet new folks and take your time choosing your next gal so it doesn't happen again.
& definitely start playing the drums!
oh, and be gutsy!
- Sep0
"take your time choosing your next gal so it doesn't happen again."
?????
wtf????
How do you do THAT?
- phist0
sorry to hear. man, everyone has been breaking up lately. i've been waiting patiently for over 4 years. you might think i'm lonely or what not, but i feel great. i know i'm gonna find the right match soon. "good things come to those who wait." corny, but so true.
- nosaj0
Get the guitar. Fill your time learning to play. Write songs... This is the perfect time to introduce something new to your life.
- contribute0
Bob Dylan, Blood On The Tracks, Idiot Wind. Listen to it, read the lyrics, whatever... it's a good letting go and getting over song (with a bit of neccessary anger).
"I been double-crossed now for the very last time and now I'm finally free,
I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me.
You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above,
And I'll never know the same about you, your holiness or your kind of love,
And it makes me feel so sorry."
-Dylan
- kbags0
OKAY, LISTEN UP, BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING BREAKUP PRO:
1. Exercise. Everyday. Every time you feel depressed, go straight to the gym and use the extra energy to fuel yourself. Eat healthier so you have extra energy. You'll be able to sleep better at night during these tough typically sleepless days, the endorphins will start peaking, and you'll soon have a healthy glow that will attract new tail in no time. This is critical.
2. Anything that reminds you of her goes in a big box and gets tucked somewhere you can't see it. Like your buddy's attic. Don't look at it until after next Xmas.
3. Don't look back. The truth is that after the initial breakup, men tend to waffle in indecision, women tend not to...they've made a decision and they usually stick to it. Nonetheless, they still feel loss, so when she's seemingly indecisive and feeding you post-breakup emotional talking bullshit, you're thinking about drums, guitar, sex with her sister, whatever...not her. You're not getting sucked up in the vortex...you're better than her.
4. Maintain radio silence. It will happen eventually anyway...take action now. You can't be friends right now. There has to be silence for at least a few months befor eyou can take the step to be truly civil. Save time and pain, jump into your future.
5. Jump into your future. You wanna play drums or guitar? Pick one and do it, dude. Throw yourself into work and bettering yourself...you'll make ridiculous strides because the emotional strain leads you to creativity. Kinda like a fucked up muse.
6. Take your time getting back into the game. If you go falling in love with the next woman who lets you in her pants, you're going to wind up in a bad place quickly and that usually means on her front doorstep. The best advice I ever got was, "Don't get into another relationship for another 2 years." When you focus so much of your time on relationships, which are work no matter how easy it is, you're missing out on something else you could be doing. Right now, that "something else" is far more important than loving anyone other than yourself.
7. When you do get back into the game, be yourself and DO NOT act a part to impress the next girl you fall for. When the sex gets dull, you revert to your previously unglamorous self and then she dumps you. Being yourself helps you avoid recurrences of this tragic ending. I.e. if you live to surf, surf a ton, hang out at surf shops, comb your eyebrows, and the right surfer chick will kiss your feet when the time is right. At which time, you will gladly reciprocate.
8. Be proud, and don't go back to the well. Watch Swingers and CQ, and take as many lessons as you can from them.
9. Be a badass. Seriously, even if you're a total wimp with linguini arms, start listening to more Hip-Hop and Ghetto Rap, and pay attention to the words. Maybe even consider tinting your windows. If you don't have a car, buy some new clothes or something, I don't know. You won't be bogged down with mushy love songs, you'll be rolling with your homies, and you'll find new toughness from within.
10. The best revenge is to live well. Don't let anything or anyone keep you from this all-important principal.
- yahoooo0
drink
- fifty500
thanks for the advice guys, especially Kbags, you put a lot of effort into your responses.
I'm horribly depressed but i guess it will pass soon. I would hate to ignore her for so long because our only means of communication is MSN because it was a long-distance relationship. Phone calls are pretty expensive but we still had them sometimes.
It's unlikely I will ever bump into her on the street since she lives in Europe and I am in Canada, but we still have a "contract" to meet when we are thirty years old.
Right now she is soul searching, and is promising to stay abstinent for a couple of years, and says she doesn't want any relationships for a long time. She wants me to move on, but also wants me to stay in touch. The weirdest part was that she said she could imagine me as her husband one day. And in all honesty, she's the only girl i've met who I thought I could marry. Maybe in a few years when we're 30 things will work out... but I can't hold on to false hopes.