QBN fiction
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- Beeswax0
a jar full of peyote.
- jon_d0
TACOS FOR ALL.
- vaxorcist0
Batman and Tony are falling, wile-y-coyote style downwards in a cartoon-gravity way and they look up to see....
The Ambigiously Gay Duo..... who seem to be arguing about something amongst each other....
- vaxorcist0
The tape was a strange format called VHS... and it had once inhabited an oddball place on that "earth" planet called "blockbuster" .... after playing a while, it began to get a very shaky picture, right when a woman with dark hair and a red bikini top climbs out of a swimming pool and runs towards the camera, opening her top very slowly with water dripping off, only this part was very hard to see, because the tape had been paused so many times by earthlings at this part......
- inteliboy0
Tony salivates.
- CALLES0
now tony wants jessicas extra chessy taco that he saw in the girls gone wild video
- cannonball19780
Confused, Cannonball1978 closed the QBN book that he was reading. The cover, two snakes in a knot devouring each other, was very telling about the nature of what he had just read.
It was late, and school was closed already and a storm was brewing outside. The pad he was laying on wasn't so uncomfortable, though, and he had already eaten an entire apple, core and all, and was feeling a bit sluggish.
"What's so bad about reading in a school attic?" he thought to himself. I might as well just stay here tonight. Better this than getting thrown in a dumpster by those bullies again.
- jon_d0
suddenly a man taps Tony on the shoulder and wakes him from his dreamy state.
"Hey Tony!"
Lo and behold it's Dick Butkis. You may know him as the ass-kicking linebacker from the 1960's Chicago Bears!
"Tony, boss man wants to see you pronto.. something about TPS reports."
- jon_d0
cannonball 1978 then turned into a snake and ate himself.
- jon_d0
Fat dude then was all like " yo jason hit that bong G"
Jason" yeah"hits from da bong ensued.
jason started doing the running man, fat dude was like "yo, watch this" he did a spin off his stomach until the fat wore off completely.
"oh shit im skinny!" said the now-skinny fat dude.
Jason could only smile.
"word."
- vaxorcist0
The stoned fat-now-skinny guy looked at the now stoned Jason and started asking him a series of carefully worded questions....
fat-now-skinny-guy:Do you use soap?
Jason: uh... hey, I don't stink, what are you tryin' to say?fat-now-skinny-guy: Hey, I'm just asking... no worries...
Jason: okaaay.... uh...fat-now-skinny-guy: Do you take any vitamins or drink any energy drinks?
Jason: well, maybe sometimes, if they're lying around the house....fat-now-skinny-guy: Have you ever heard of Quixtar?
Jason: Isn't that the name that Netflix just gave their DVD by mail service they had to spin off for some random bullshit copyright reason?fat-now-skinny-guy:Do you want to lose Weight like i did and make lots of money very fast?
Jason:uh... I'm not in need of losing weight... but I sure cound use some money...fat-now-skinny-guy: Well, have I got an offer for you.... Quickstar is not to be confused with a DVD company, it's got a long history, under a different name, but I'll get to that later... and...
the fat-now-skinny guy's voice changed an octave lower and he delivered what seemed like a canned sales pitch to Jason, about how he should sign up for a meeting and start signing up other people for a meeting and go to lots of meetings and make sure he has space in his new place for a lot of boxes of things that will come in the mail....
and Jason became an MLM guy just like that.... the Multi Level Marketing meetings were an odd addiction for him, he met the most interesting people there... and he couldn't stop going to these meetings...
- jon_d0
Jason traded the mask for glasses and started trading his knives for Organic cookbooks.
life was certainly changing for Jason.
No more Megadeath, now... Phil Collins.
- jon_d0
Freddy went to visit Jason for dinner.
Jason, I am proud of you. I wish I could change but... nah, F that. WHat the hell is wrong with you man? You used to be real, G. Now... you drive a damn beamer, damn son.
- jon_d0
Jason: I do not appreciate your tone or half-baked lingo Fred.
The world has changed. Evolve or die.
Freddy started to get that look.
- jon_d0
"I'll bring you right back to my world Jason."
"Never forget."
- jon_d0
He was surrounded my nothing but milk, milk everywhere... the walls were made of this sweet nectar and his mother, formed from the milk, pushed cannonball's head to her teet.
"Drink of me. For I created you."
Cannonball had no choice, his naked body attracted to the teet like a magnet attracted to it's polar opposite. He drank.
- jon_d0
The spock tattoo's were Cannonballs only visual as he surped the organic syrup.
- jon_d0
Freddie started haunting Jason's dreams.
Jason could not live in peace.
- honest0
there was a sudden knock on the door