QBN fiction
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- honest0
... upon hearing the news, a collection of individuals headed back to their apartments and unlocked hidden safes in their closets.
- ukit0
Then he rubbed his eyes one more time.
- ukit0
Meanwhile, ABC’s All My Children’ ended its 41-year television run.
- vaxorcist0
In each of the safes was a single dark blue rubber glove with the middle finger cut out, a long red lock of hair with a rubber band holding it together, a photo of a semi-disembowled cannonball1978 hugging the talentless film producer.... and a crumpled up note.
- ukit0
Suddenly the screen goes black.
Camera slowly zooms out...
Cannonball is now a fetus floating in space.
Tony the blind, earless, flatulent zombie floats behind him, clawing aimlessly into the void.
*Theme music plays, reaching a crescendo
*Credits roll
- Beeswax0
he saw zuckerberg sitting naked in front of a computer with his left hand on the mouse and constantly repeating "one day, one day you will all beg me, bitches, you will aahhlllhhh!"
- Projectile0
He took the mask to show his friends. Andy, the larger of his friends, and something of a bully, decided that he wanted that mask, and so took it from Jason.
But Jason was insistent that, as the mask was his, he should be the one who decides who gets to wear it. He confronted Andy about this, but Andy was hearing none of it. Jason welled up with anger, and snatched it from him, cursing and insulting. Instantly a fight broke out between the two. Jason's mother came running out of the house, dragged him inside and, among scoldings, explained that she was tired of his antics in whilst with his friends, and that she was going to send him to live with her sister in Bel Air...
- ukit0
Now endowed with Godlike powers from munching on the pizza, zombie-Tony begins organizing a campaign to conquer the world as we know it. With no more "All My Children" to serve as a distraction, Tony is easily able to amass an undead army millions strong.
The only thing standing in the way: an aging, arthritic Bruce Willis.
- CyBrainX0
and then he quotes Frank Zappa.
The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe.
- jon_d0
The camera comes on after the credits.
Bruce Wayne is getting a pedicure by Alfred.
"Hey... the shows over folks. Get out of here. Yeah, you.
Don't make me get my bat-bat and swing on y'all.Shoo."
- vaxorcist0
Bill says the Bossman's asking about all these "zombie projects" on the TPS reports.... where you think the project's dead, then it jumps up and scares the hell out of you....
The account guy gives you one of those inscrutible looks... he's trying to tell you something.....
- jon_d0
The throng of Zombies approached Willis.
"Today is as good a day to die as any." Bruce murmured.
Zombie Ashton approached first, Willis decapitates him with a forearm shiver.
"Sorry Ashton."
Willis grabs Kucher by the ankles and proceeds to create a tornado of offense not unlike Street Fighter's Zangief.
"Ugghhhhh!!"Zombie parts flew everywhere and for 5 minutes Willis was in control.
But it was too much to overcome. Out of the pit emerged Zombie willis.
"MTV awarrrdddsss." uttered Zombie Bruce Willis.
Was all hope lost?
Is this the end of civilization as we know it?
"Not so freakin' fast."
It was Bill Murray.
"You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance."
"And I wooped Sheng Long's ass.""Haaa- doouuuuu- keNNNNN!!!"
A huge fireball formed from Murray's hands destroying all of the Zombies in his path."That's right you ugly son-of-a-bitches."
- BattleAxe0
Turns out Bossman is the lord Zombie of Wasserstadt, instantly his flesh melts off to reveal the horror and monstrosity that is his face. Quickly Tony reaches for ...
- vaxorcist0
....they go out through the night where they keep the imaginary diseases, and he struggles and finally is able to pull off that too-tight python boot, causing a severe case of aroma-terrorism
- kalkal0
a quick sandwich and then....
- some music
http://www.youtube.c…
audio book?? :DHombre_Lobo
- some music
- popfodders0
struck by the stench of his own self, Tony quotes 'The Raven' "Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."". Decided to check out a whorehouse.
- jon_d0
"Great scott!" - Tony
"Great scott?" - some random guy
"great scott!" - Tony
"whos scott?" - random guy
- jon_d0
Braka stared at the footage in awe.
"Look at those mammaries."
Drud agreed as he obsessed over the screen.
"Yeah those would look great next to my Xyaxxs""Oh you are so bad."exclaimed Braka," Mammaries cannot be upsondered onto your body yet. It's against code.."
"Fuck code, you think I give two Qak's about Quintesson law?"
"Im going to get some human mammaries upsondered sooner rather than later. And I know just the human that I want to take them from ."Drud took out the torn magazine page from his wallet and looked at the image of Pamela Anderson for the 1000th time, rubbing the paper in an obsessive manner.
"Borat, my god, you were right."