Client of the Day
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- 397 Responses
- freedom3
- hahahadopepope
- and btw, if you make a mistake we will let you know in 6 months with the amount you owe plus federal short–term interest rate + 3 percent, thanks.whatthefunk
- JSK0
"i'd love to make it funky"
Funky? Is that a design term? Because I have never heard that before when describing a direction. What does it mean anyways? How DO YOU make something funky? Do you put some gold chains and baggy clothing? Do you design some "strong bass guitar riffs and bass lines"? I mean are you designing something like a cover for DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince? Maybe add some bboy break dance in to it?
- print it with the fresh scent of post gym class socks.Amicus
- ffs it's a french chick who doesn't understand jack!! i gotta speak the funk lingo baby!! lolProjectile
- you remove the counterspaces from large type, duh!monospaced
- My client wanted a design to be more "edgy" and have more "pop". WTF is that supposed to mean?!ediot
- it means they're trying to impress somebody else & they're nervousvaxorcist
- That's easy http://rhythmicsoul.…stanislav
- drgs2
- That's cool that Donald Trump is looking for a new website.ETM
- bug time, indeed.sofakingback
- haha, come on. you're making this up.ben_
- MrT3
Working on the new brand rollout for everyone’s favorite Australian shopping centre monopoly. Three meetings in the last five working days, turned up to each only to be told the decision maker is too busy to attend. 20 minutes pretending we’re progressing things listening to a couple of millennials talk about their on-brand drop-shadow specifications.
To top it all they scheduled each meeting for 4pm leaving us to get out of the centre of Sydney in rush hour.Wankers.
- canoe0
Client refuses to be involved in the "Google Kingdom" so four of us are stuck working on one Excel doc with six different tabs for a 100 page webste... I can't imagine how this is going to go over...
We used Dropbox Paper for copy and it worked well. But they have nothing for spreadsheets.
Can you believe that - he'd rather fuck us all over because he's paranoid about Google getting into his life. Can't stand this client.
- Bet he wants his site to be No1 in google searches though.HAYZ1LLLA
- that sucksGnash
- I thought you could do that with dropbox
https://www.dropbox.…Gnash - not tried it myselfGnash
- so... you bitch because the guy doesnt want to be a google sheep???? Baaaaaaaa (to you).pr2
- why are you letting the client dictate software?doesnotexist
- Why wouldn't a client have a right to insist its data not be hosted in places it doesn't trust?detritus
- monoboy2
Another classic today.
I produced some illustrations last Monday, tight turnaround, client keen to get them done. No problem, I had a light week.
The first draft goes up that afternoon, I get some minor positive feedback. I post back same day, ask a few questions, await further feedback.
Nothing until 5pm on Friday. Then a huge long email arrives with a complete spec change and my mobile starts going. I don't answer.
He then emails asking for it to be done today.
Sorry mate, you missed your slot. I'm busy till Thursday.
Have some respect for people's time for fucks sake.
- (Sorry I sound like a moany bitch but good grief).monoboy
- No you don't. I hate clients like this. They unburden themselves on a Friday so they can enjoy their weekend at the cost of yours.ETM
- Clients try this all the time and I won't have it. Sorry, not unless I agreed ahead of time to work the weekend or they want to pay rush (double) rate.ETM
- Got another today as well. Billboard artwork due last week, didn't get the spec I asked for until today. 'Can we have it today'.monoboy
- Drives me up the fooking wall. This is also how mistakes get made.monoboy
- this is exactly how mistakes get made and then somehow they blame the designer. i hate this shit.capn_ron
- OBBTKN1
Working on a town aerial view illu, and the client said something like... "no, it's wrong, the church is in right side of the road, not left side..."
i am using Google Earth + Google Maps for reference and i've been a ton of times on this town, i know where the road is!!
- #alternative_factsArchitectofFate
- rotate your view by 180°, or alternatively rotate the client by 180°uan
- Tell the client it's a special church on a gimbal that always faces you whatever side of the road you are driving on.face_melter
- Satanic anti-church?detritus
- monoboy1
Today I get this. In response to a fully costed, on brand and slick looking set of packaging concepts. Weeks after it was sent.
I spent days on it. Which will still get billed.
- ugfht, Worst thing to hear! Ball's in their court, the stupid fucks. Charge them for what you've done and gtfo.detritus
- They're actually a good client, never quibble invoices but do make totally bonkers decisions. Can be exhausting.monoboy
- Imagine you telling your accountant that your 7 year old niece is good at maths and has drafted some figures to use on your annual return.fruitsalad
- That's how your client is talking.fruitsalad
- that's what he should call his design company:
Linda's Daughters BoyfriendGnash
- bklyndroobeki0
Do you agree, that you are as good as your last client (or clients)?
- NoETM
- nomoldero
- Your networking skills are, but talent and success are not always related.freedom
- I think that you are "as good as" the ppl in your network.bklyndroobeki
- You're as good as your last bowel movement.Redfish777
- bklyndroobeki0
"Just begin"
How do I make it so that my client is clear that it's ONLY when I receive a deposit that I will start. It's in the contract, thought it was enough.
- Just tell them, if they don't abide by that simple and universal rule then you probably don't want them as clients.zarkonite
- I get this... quite easy to say in an email v.politely "I look forward to starting work on your project on receipt of the deposit payment."fadein11
- We have a codependency. I can't let them go zark ;)bklyndroobeki
- 15 days later. still waiting on deposit.bklyndroobeki
- sounds like they weren't in a hurryshellie
- sounds like i'm about to say goodbyebklyndroobeki
- "Happy to begin once we receive the deposit"breadlegz
- djhiro1
Once had a "client" have me sign a NDA and 4-page contract with tons of legal writing just to help them fix some things on their outdated site for like $200. And then they paid their invoice late.
Never again.
- lolMilan
- samebklyndroobeki
- Pfft. It's not as if you'd post details on a public forum or anything. Idiots.monoboy
- NDA = Client has no idea what they are doing, but thinks it's awesome.breadlegz
- kona0
(a few years ago while working for a shite CD)
We were probably 92% through the entire web project and the client was in for a final review.
I could tell by the look on the clients face something was up. After about 10 minutes he finally chimes in and says "I dunno... I just don't know. I think the site needs to be Yellow."
This was insane. Yellow wasn't even remotely a part of their brand and we'd gone through like 5 rounds of revisions already. Before I could open my mouth my CD says "Ok we can add Yellow for you" and the Sr Designer and I looked at each other like What The Flapjacks.
I ask the client if he could expand on that thought. What parts would he like yellow. Why yellow. After a minute or two it turns out the client didn't want yellow at all... he just thought the site was a little drab and dark. He equated "brightness" with the sun. So on the spot in CSS we turned the very light background white and I see his eyes light up. Problem solved.
The point being it's not always the client who's an idiot. They sometimes just don't how to properly express themselves in a way we designers understand.
- half of being a designer is learning to translate their needs and crazy talkmonospaced
- The other half is cocaine.kona
- Good story. Client talked like a toddler.omahadesigns
- The client was a toddler. He was starting a Boob Sharing Milk network for infants. Brilliant little kid.kona
- "What The Flapjacks"
- this snippet is well worth reading the story me thinks.antimotion - clients also can't visualise a solution like we can. Just just sometimes know they aren't happyProjectile
- tank021
Found this on LinkedIn.
What a hellscape
The Role
Responsibilities
• Utilize Al tools such as Dall-e & Midjourney to generate up to 500 lifestyle images focusing on toothpaste tubes and associated elements per month. The access & subscription for the Al tools will be provided.
• Implement Photoshop skills to refine and enhance Al-generated images, incorporating brand elements, such as logos, onto generated images as needed. Please note that you should have your own subscription to Photoshop.
• Uphold image quality standards and align with specifications for website placement.
• Interact with stakeholders globally, ensuring effective communication and understanding of varied requirements.- Please note that you should have your own subscription to Photoshop.tank02
- I'll take it. Link?palimpsest
- still not filled apparently:jonny_quest_lives
- https://www.drjobpro…jonny_quest_lives
- PhanLo1
L O L
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- https://www.instagra… Pearl Jam are shitePhanLo
- WowYakuZoku
- I would draw nice picture, took posters and had a nice time doing it.robthelad
- bjladams0
client just stopped in to let us know they're on the way to the post office to mail our check...
- utopian1
^^^^^.
- Experience is everything. Charge what you're worth!canoe
- hourly rates... it's not plumbing, it's creative work, it takes time to just get into it.shapesalad
- isn't this the basic kind of shit you learn a few years into the job after school?inteliboy
- pango0
How do you charge ass hole fee?
Just had a client who doesn't like the idea of getting all the files after full payment. Which I've told him to only ask me to start the project only if he agrees to it from the very beginning (no contract).
now he said he feels offended what i don't trust him. ass. i trust you until you until you forget what you agreed to.
how would you deal with it?- < http://vimeo.com/220…uan
- make them sign a contract ( a real one ) before starting ANY work.doesnotexist
- putting things down in ink helps keep everyone honest.bjladams
- It was a small amount. didn't think i need it. however it is on email ink...pango
- Pango, if it's small money, then just say thanks, but no thanks. You like making money right?randommail
- CanHasQBN0
I'm so glad I quit my design job. I was really sick of being treated like a bitch by ignorant clients who merely see designers as a blunt tool to execute their crappy ideas. In no other industry are college-educated professionals treated so much like children. There's barely any respect or trust in what we do for a living.
And for some reason, clients LOVE to assume that they're your only client, and that you've got nothing better to do during the day but twiddle your thumbs and be entirely subservient to them at all times.
Here's a summary from all the clients in your posts: "Design is easy. Just do it. I need it. Today. And I might not pay you."
Well fuck that. It's not worth it IMO. The work itself is too time-consuming and tedious (if you give a damn about details) and frankly, not worth the stress or money. I'm sick of putting so much effort and enthusiasm into a piece, and then having the client push it aside only to replace it with some fucking abortion of an idea.
And they want instant gratification (reflective of our entire society). There's not even any time left open for concepting or brainstorming anymore. It's purely execution... and then the client wonders why the end product is absolute rubbish. I was given a mere six hours to create a brochure concept and web concept for a national brand, and would have to present it the next day in front of about 12 board members. I bombed. The work was crap. I had no faith in it. I couldn't sell it with a straight face. There was no thought behind it, no foundation. It was execute, execute, execute just to get it done before the next day.
Call me a quitter, but there are better ways to sustain yourself.
- IT'S THE ONLY THING I KNOW HOW TO DO IN LIFE!Continuity
- *weeps quietly*Continuity
- i like this. what do you do know?dijitaq
- So what do you do now? :oattentionspan
- Agree. What you doing now?monoboy
- I've been feeling this of late.webazoot
- WhiteFace0
I've been chasing a client invoice for exactly a year now, with late replies, excuses and reassurance it'll be paid soon, still nothing. I still have control of their website and template I designed them is it justified to shut it down at this point?
- Yeah, especially if your terms for payment were specific (30 days, etc).evilpeacock
- maybe disable the css so the info is still there, but looks like shithans_glib
- Tell them you are going to shut it down in 7 days (make sure they can't access) unless paid. Once shut down a daily interest of 10% compounded, added to bill.shapesalad
- Actually... just take it down, put up a page saying 'this website has been hacked, send monero crypto to..."shapesalad
- 'to unlock your website'. then email them saying you've noticed the website has been hacked and you can't log in.shapesalad
- "Client did not pay?
Add opacity to the body tag and decrease it every day until their site completely fades away" https://github.com/k…grafician