Client of the Day
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- elahon0
Last client I had:
Me: Here is your invoice.
Client: (looking it over) Ok, here is your check. Thank you.
Me: You're welcome!- nice!bigtrickagain
- i also have one of those, he can get away with a lot of stuff because he actually asks for invoiceKiggen
- holy sjmilligan
- then you woke up?orrinward
- Projectile0
jesus Rumper.. do some stretching every morning, take up some kung fu classes and maybe you'll actually be agile enough to MEET the odd client's needs you lazy fuck!! I don't approve of your no-can-do attitude!!!
- i know... i know... my killer moves aren't what they were..RumperChunk
- Fuck that, that sounded like a total pain in the arse job. You need to know when to turn those ones down...rascuache
- good thing you saw it for what it was, that's wisdom right theremonospaced
- it could be a good money earner if they are paying by the hour. Sounds like it'll run about 6-9 months over deadline.Amicus
- canoe1
Last night was an unparalleled real-life nightmare. The kind of situation you know 'could' happen working in design, but never had until slack pings, "He really wants to see this idea."
4.5 different shapes or typefaces in a two word logo with 6 letters. This logo is so bad - even though it was designed by committee - I'd still never show my face here again.
I previously provided 20 ideas, at least 2 acceptable by my standards. So at this point I'm kinda perturbed right, so I had to mention that maybe it's not the logo and it's the name of the app.
After all that I feel like I have designer's nausea this morning. It's been a while, but that good ol' feeling of cognitive dissonance has kicked in.
If every client had a jingle this would fit nicely -
- RumperChunk0
I have a US based client, a conglomerate of companies, but big. 60bn a year big. It’s a very specialised in some areas and having worked with their engineers for years now, I have no fucking idea why they make money. Their operations are a joke.
Anyway... last year about May time they asked if I could design a product... I asked for the deets- they sent me a competitors material and said we need to update our existing product to reflect the competition (lazy, but big corp isn’t exactly innovative) to which I respond with a set of questions etc etc. Don’t hear anything until December - and it’s all panic / need it now / let’s go... so I invoice the first stage, in £ - and they pay within a few days. So now I have the money and I’m all ready to go - but I need some important details and info (easy shit like physical dimensions, and model numbers of parts to be used)... it doesn’t ever arrive. It’s a year later now, and despite my emails I have received nothing.
This week I get an email from the account dept saying they want the money refunding, as the project is cancelled. When I ask why it’s been cancelled they tell me it’s because no work was delivered... un-fucking real...
And to top it off the £ has crashed so fucking bad, it might cost me 20% more to pay back if they want the $... all because some lazy ass marketing fuck knuckle can’t get his shit together.
My other problem is I work across the group and have been recommended many times to other subsidiaries... so this could blow up in an awkward way.
Middle management mediocrity’s a bitch.
- Open a spread betting account, trade £/$ next week. Make 20% back.shapesalad
- Put in your conditions, that is there is not reaction to invoice in 3 months, the request of refund is void. Or 50% kill fee.tank02
- Email back from a different email address, a woman name - reply, sorry it's been so long, unfortunately Rumper died in a car crash.shapesalad
- you couldn't find 'easy shit like physical dimensions, and model numbers of parts to be used' on your own?canoe
- imbecile0
The fuck..?
Client: Please add these names to the page. (List of names)
Me: Sure. Copy / paste... updated.
Client: Names are spelled incorrectly.
Me: ???
Me: I copied those names from your list.
Client: No longer responding.
- I once made a poster for a major marathon for a major running co. We included all 20k entries in the background imported from a spread sheet...fooler
- 1 of their sponsored athletes was spelled wrong in 3 pt type and she found it! Had to reprint the entire job.fooler
- O,,oimbecile
- hot damn. 3pt types lolpango
- canoe1
I feel like a born-again virgin!
Renewed client is asking for me to work in,
The last time I worked on design outside of using Adobe products was when I used to steal time from kinkos in the 90s.
I'm sure I'm not the only one on QBN who would stay for 3 hours and pay for 15 minutes?
- Flexitive is a similar product a previous employer wanted to replace me with. It couldn't compete with my ~5 minutes to change a rate and compile 50+ ad sizesevilpeacock
- dang! that's some fast production feet ya got there!canoe
- Projectile0
I'm making an animation, the two main charcters are circles. I'm making them grandma and grandpa on a Zoom call.
The feedback:
"hmm grandma and grandpa... a bit of a cliche. How about two grannies?"So now I'm expected to somehow make it clear that a circle is a lesbian grandma. Any suggestions?
- slappy2
Overheard this when walking past the boardroom today
"The client doesn't have time to ruin it.."
Sometimes tight deadlines are good.
- oey_oey0
what do you say to a client that sends you all the logos of the institutions that sponsor a cultural event inside a word document?
this is not the first time this happens to me, but in this case client as a formation as a graphic designer.
am i missing something?
is this actually a way to send files?- the quality is okay but I have to select, save, name, decide which size and format on every logo.oey_oey
- this is a trend right?oey_oey
- You can attempt to extract the logos and drive yourself nuts (don't do this)... you can attempt to explain to the client why the DOC is unacceptable...PonyBoy
- ... (I usually don't choose this option either as I just usually get dead air on the other end of the phone or a 'huh?' face in person)...PonyBoy
- ... that being said I'd advise you go find the logos on the web yourself (most stuff is out there if you search for pdfs etc)... takes a couple extra hours...PonyBoy
- ... rather than waiting days hoping your client can provide what you needPonyBoy
- your second comment...exactly what happens to me, every time.oey_oey
- and you know what, it's always people that work doing also office work ads in a fucking office.oey_oey
- everytime!!!oey_oey
- I need a link where this is explained. can't find one.oey_oey
- Pony is right. Go fund the logos yourself. I know I’m months late to this but it stands.monospaced
- sted3
- MrT0
"We have the ability to change and maintain effectiveness in a changing environment and embrace new ideas openly, willingly and timely."
I'm making a strategy video and this is one of five key messages.
Putting aside the general and generic shiteness of it all, I questioned whether or not this was correct use of 'timely'. It's supposedly been through the entire company but no-one has an issue with it.
Am I going mad?
- It's an awkward sentence to parse no matter what.evilpeacock
- I've had work like that too, where the copy on-screen were so convoluted there was little I could do with motion to make it any better. Good luck!evilpeacock
- sounds right... like they're saying they're *quick* to embrace change... (yes, they're willing and open to change AND quick to jump on that change)PonyBoy
- ... and yeah - the line is clunky... quite awkward as evilpeacock statedPonyBoy
- Cheers. But shouldn't it finish ‘in a timely fashion’ or similar?MrT
- and why do I care. It’s Monday.MrT
- Yeah... I think you're right. Dropping 'timely' at the end of the sentence is fine but usually holds the feeling / meaning of 'good timing' or 'well-timed'.PonyBoy
- Example: "Even though I love my neighbor and their 'rubber things' club sounds fascinating, the arrival of my Mother-in-law couldn't have been more timely."PonyBoy
- Whereas I think they're trying to say that they're actually quick to action—meaning they move in a 'timely fashion' (as you noted). So yeah... fuck mondays.PonyBoy
- Thanks and FLOL at your example!MrT
- drgs0
- shapesalad0
Work delivered on time, but client payment overdue past a reasonable 30 day payment period. No response when asked when I may expect payment to be received. Just sucks. I think I'm going to start missing deadlines and delivering work late if this continues.
- Rather than that, add late payment penalties. Uplift invoiced amount by 20% per week.Morning_star
- Do you take down payments before starting the work?zarkonite
- Final payment before delivery.Hayoth
- drgs0
- Wow. Yes, clearly that's how "no offense" works. hahahahaMondoMorphic
- lolset
- Same as the train of thought that shouting 'prank' afterwards somehow makes it all okset
- should reply with "No Offence: you are ugly and have only 1 brain cell, and it's got dementia."shapesalad
- trooperbill0
client thinks i can effectively seo and generate leeds on a 12 page website that contains nothing but fee information without adding landing pages ffs.
- monoboy0
Got talking to a neighbour recently about design and marketing.
Family business (son) that turns over £8.4m and has the worst set of comms I've seen in ages.
Convo developed into doing a proposal for his company website that he 'took down' because he didn't like it. He has a holding page up, but google still picks up all the old live pages. Fucking mess.
'I don't want to spend much.'
Fair enough, you don't need to really, it still sort of works. Suggested turning it into a two pager with a list of services, contacts, newsletter signup. Done. Full proposal sent, cost peanuts.
'Cool. Can we do it before Xmas. Can you send me some samples'
So I send my credentials doc.
No response after a week.
I follow up again. Still no response.
Geezer lives across the road and won't even email me back.
Hilarious.
I laugh because I suspect he thinks I'd do it for free and didn't actually read the proposal.
- I couldn't really say no. Wanted to. Glad I don't have to now. ha.monoboy
- comms?ArmandoEstrada
- Communications.monoboy
- Ask him if he'll give you a few thousand bucks worth of whatever the fuck they sell or do and see how that goes down.BusterBoy
- That'd be cool. They supply huge construction machines, diggers, JCBs etc. Love a go.monoboy
- stoplying3
Just finished an After Effects side gig, sent invoice, and was asked if I was interested in some editing work.
Some clients are alright.
- MrT0
The story is about the brand "Océ"
The text in all instances is "Oce"
The client's correction "the c in Oce has to have an apostrophe on the top of it"
Oh really? Which key do I press to get that?
- OBBTKN1
The client (a "competent" video studio): please, send us the logos, we need to do a demo
Me: ok (i've sent them the logos on Ai and PDF)
Client: we can not open the files in PS, please, send us a PSD file with the logos on it
Me (Are you kidding me?): Opened the PDF file in PS, with transparent background (i know it's going to be the next...) and in hi-res, sent it
Client: We need it on PNG, WITH transparent background
Me (your are kidding me, mate): Opened the PSD, and saved like PNG...
Now, i am waiting for another idiotic request from them, take the axe, get into my car...
Please
- 1st world problems. Saving in new formats, so difficult.bainbridge
- yes, i know... never a problem mate, but the studio was not my final client, and they can make it by itself with the first file than stealing my time...OBBTKN
