Joke of the Day
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- BuddhaHat0
Some gags from Edinborough Fringe 2016:
“Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.” Mark Smith
“I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer ... came second.” Will Duggan
“Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” Annie McGrath
“Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” Jordan Brookes
- airey0
why can't the baby turn around in a corridor?
- it's got a javelin through it's head.
- airey0
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
- airey0
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
- airey0
what's big, white and if it fell out of a tree could kill you?
a refrigerator.
- janne760
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
- janne760
What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.
- airey0
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
- bigtrickagain0
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of cannonballs?
You can't unload the cannonballs with a pitchfork.
- JayCee0
Q. What did one tit say to the other?
A. I hope we get support soon or people will think we’re nuts.
- airey0
What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
- de4k0
*bump
- MrT0
How do find Will Smith when he's lost in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
- MrT0
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi
and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks,
"Is this some kind of joke?"
- OhYeah0
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: Anal sex
- bliznutty0
what does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomiac do?
stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog
- MrT0
What's the fastest thing on land?
Stevie Wonder's speed boat.
- identity0
Hope & Change
Kinda funny now... Right?
- MrT-1
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water.
If it sinks: girl ant.
If it floats: boy ant.