girlfriends
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- CALLES
Last night when i'm about half asleep
Her: oh can you please remind me to make my work suitcase.
Me; Sure not a problem(half asleep
Her; ok sweetThis morning... about to leave
Her: You forgot to remind me about the suitcase
Me: So wait you remember that you told me to remind you and i forgot cuz i was asleep so you scold me but you dont the remember to make the suitcase [head explodes]she laughed
you got any of this goodies?
- mattiaBK0
Shit! That's funny, and wrong and the same time!
- WeLoveNoise0
Her : I saw you looking at her tits?
Me : did u see em too ?
- GeorgesII0
you haven't seen nothing yet, wait to be married
- babaganush0
Me: Wow she has massive tits
Her: Yeah she does doesn't she!...Got a good one there...
- CALLES0
funy my technique to look another girls... cuz her in miami beach is IMPOSSIBLE not to... i need glasses that i dont even have
so i always ask my girlfriends.."is that girl over there hot" done works perfectly
- Yes this is possibly the most surefire way to go about it.d_rek
- no they dont mind at all you are being honest... she will never catch me trying to hide to check someone outCALLES
- I usually just point out something about her, like "that girls has no shame, you can clearly see panty lines through that skintight dress!" and then we tsk tsk till she is out of sight....epigraph
- her skin tight dress" You are then free to further critiqe the ass...epigraph
- tasty0
after seeing a comedian who asked a male in the audience what his favorite porn website was (it was YouPorn)
her: so what's your favorite porn site?
me: I cannot disclose that information.
her: k, then i'm not disclosing my vagina tonight, night baby!- vagina sexy talk!!.chossy
- bitchflashbender
- you missed out on watching porn with the missus on this one.October
- I would've left that ho.styleplus
- chossy0
I actually have a bad one from last night.
her : so do you fancy anne hathaway?
me : not really baby
her : what about that lassie married to tom cruise
me : katie homes?
her : aye
me : naw not atall
her : why don't you fancy them?
me : cause they dinae look like they could take a pounding
her : ...........
me : :D
her : your a dick likesey.- =DCALLES
- HAHHAPIITB
- hahahahaJaline
- hahahakingsteven
- dub this over a dolmio advert plz.kingsteven
- best answer everPoint5
- chossy, you are my hero7point34
- kezza_20
"so this number that keeps appearing on your phone bill I called her...."
Marriage is easier
- ouchlocustsloth
- haha, my girl did some shit like that about 7 years ago. hilarious!Point5
- jimzyk0
in bed.....
me: i would like the sex please tonight
her: no
me: please
her: no
me: i will pay you
her: no
me: i will wash my bits, twice!
her: (asleep)
- Jaline0
I hate when people expect you to remember things when you are half-asleep.
- I am always half asleep. Probably why I don't ever remember things.killthefish
- I count on it sometimes.chossy
- hyahahahCALLES
- And yeah, women can be very petty about stupid things like the exact story you posted, CALLES.Jaline
- i know... but i always difuse it ith humorCALLES
- o know how they operate... she cracked up when she realized what she just didCALLES
- I'm sure you know women more than I do.Jaline
- At least she laughed about it after you pointed it out :)Jaline
- showpony0
her: why aren't you wearing your wedding ring?
me: guitar hero. i can't play with it on.
her: *sigh* i'd rather you be a 'playa' than a nerd.
me: *cry
- cannonball0
I will refer you to paragraph 1A of section http://www.qbn.com/topics/558146…
...with regards to dressing for the weather
- Greedo0
me: "what do you want for dinner"
her: "i don't care"
me: "pasta? i'll make a nice red sauce"
her: "mmm nah"
me: "soup? we have ingredients for chicken noodle or lentil soup"
her: "mmmm nah"
me: "stir fry? curry?"
her: "mmm nah... i've been wanting a grilled cheese all day long."she does this with movies, clothes, going places as well
IM NOT A FRICKING MIND READER, do i have to play 20 questions with everything?- hahaha, she probably doesn't want to inconvenience you, but eventually can't help herselfJaline
- are you her bitch??Khurram
- I KNOW... hate that shit!CALLES
- from the beginning im like"look i dont want to guess so whatever you want is fine as long as you dont put me through that"CALLES
- you: what u want 4 dinna?
her: "don't mind"
you: "ok i'll shit on a plate, ok?"
that usually works!hans_glib - greedo you're her bitchLlyod
- all women do thatflashbender
- that is so annoying ay lol
Akiraprise - do that all teh time boyfriend hates it! hahahaisakosmo
- WeLoveNoise0
her: what wud u like for dinner
me: whatever
her: come one make a decision
me: ok fish, chips and a blowjob
her: fish and chips it is then
me: [fuckin fridgid bitch]
- digdre0
me: are you there
her: