To those of you with girlfriends
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- cannonball
Do you guys ever get this:
her- "What should I wear? Jeans"
me- "Sure"
her- "Well what about a dress"
me- "Sure"
her- "Which one is better"
me- "Depends on what you're doing"
her- "Well which one LOOKS better"
me- "Ohoo! I'm not falling for this"
her- "Falling for what?"
me- "You look great in both! Pick one so we can go"~10 mins later~
me- "Are you ready"
her- "I cant decide what shoes to wear"
me- "Even if they are the complete wrong pair, make a decision. We are late"
her- "Ok I'll go with these"
me- "Greeeat choice darling! Lets go!"~car~
her "I shouldn't have worn this"
me *turns on stereo, hoping to distract her brain* "Oh man! Those brush fires sure sound lie theyre getting bad!"
her "Do you think it's going to be too hot out for jeans?"
me "I dunno" *drives car into petroleum tanker, car explodes
her "Youre right it's fuckign hot out! But wait! let me leave this sweater in the car so I can make you get it later form the smoldering ashes when it's too windy on the beach that were going to g;lksfghkjahsflgjkabhsldfgkvjbhA...~END~
- TheBlueOne0
your pimphand skills need work
- TheBlueOne0
Answers:
"Baby, wear the dress. You look hot in the dress."
"We"re going to the beach, wear the flats..."
"You won't need a sweater baby, I'll keep you warm.."
- Point50
are you trying to convince us that you have a girlfriend?
- oozie0
well when i'm with one that's that damn sensitive and concious about wat she's wearing i take charge of the situation and impress her with my amazing style and fashion abilities
- forcetwelve0
nver say "you look fine"
- Yeah...go with "It makes your ass look spectacular..."TheBlueOne
- haharedant
- cannonball0
hahaha "you look fine" I've made that mistake too. After 3 years together I've lost my game. I'm sure theres some talkshow I can go on to get it back, right?
- PIITB0
LMFAO when I got to " *drives car into petroleum tanker, car explodes"
- flashbender0
every woman knows that "fine" is code for "I don't care" that's the part that needs work.
Try replacing that with "hot" or "great"
- Yeah but wont they get desensitized to those words too?cannonball
- nopejaylarson
- Eh, I think I would catch on after a while. Not that I would always ask what I look like...Jaline
- I bet the term "Fine ass bitch" evolved from this exact ordeal.cannonball
- mikotondria30
pull the trick of buying her nice clothes, then when she asks what to wear you can suggest the nice little pink hoody that you stood in line for at Victoria's secret, and say 'you always look great in that', then later you can be a pissy bitch if you she doesn't wear it and it's the 'wrong choice'.
- JerseyRaindog0
My wife hates spending money on clothes. I think it comes from having an Australian dad who hates spending money on anything and has shirts 'that will see him out.' In fact she hates spending money on anything and has even taken to altering existing old clothes to make money and now we even grow our own vegetables to save money.
Did I get lucky or what? It means there's more money left over for nice things like music and ps3 for me.
- she's a hippy.forcetwelve
- Nope. Far from it.JerseyRaindog
- Besides hippies spend money like any other girls.JerseyRaindog
- lucky :)Jaline
- madirish0
you need help, cannonball
- TheBlueOne0
A while back, right before I got married, someone who had been married for quite a long time gave me some great advice, which I will pass along to the men here, on the supposition that if you take it you will buy me a beer when and if we ever cross paths:
Men and women simply count differently. What counts as "1" for a man counts differently for a woman. Example, let's say your wife/girlfriend buys you a spectacular birthday gift - I mean she goes out of her way and gets that really great thing that you wanted. Man, for a guy that sustains shit for the entire year. Because you say to yourself as a guy - man, that woman is amazing. She cares. She can nag you about cleaning the garage or the dishes or whatever but if you stop and think about that awesome gift, well, it lessens the negativity. A-ha, you see, women don't think like that. You as a man, go out and get your woman the best gift ever - that piece of jewelry or whatever that she had her eye on, for her birthday, christmas, anniversary...whatever occasion..however, within two days? It doesn't count anymore. Simply doesn't. It's always a matter of "what have you done for me lately" - even the most lowest maintenance woman needs more maintenance than a guy by a factor of ten.
I find the above to be completely and absolutely true. The upside is you'd be amazed at what truly miniscule effort it takes to satisfy that. The total random flower, card, gift, sincere (but well timed) compliment, or little errand will take the whole edge off - and the payoff, for us men is really worth it. And I don't even mean this in a manipulative way, it's just the way it works. There's a whole lot of fun to be had, and friction to be lessened in actually being a gentleman - even in and especially in a marriage/long-term relationship - than expecting the woman in your life to somehow change behavior.
- this is sooooo true!FallowDeer
- so that's why girls like roses... it doesn't matter that flowers only last a couple days.SoulFly
- Hmmm...interesting.Jaline
- Stugoo0
TheBlueOne, this works with flatmates too.
I live with the most demanding woman on the planet.... infact...
my flatmate is more demanding than my girlfriend....
great adivce, to which I second.
- totally_recalled0
my GF is pretty practical, she always knows what she needs to wear and if anything i am the one who ends up sayin, fuck i shouldve brought a hoodie, im cold. she rocks. she always looks hot in whatever she decides to wear and i always tell her so she is always happy. but this is all making me very sad. she has gone away on work trip for longer than id like, and I, being the woosy sex addict that i am , am already missing her. boohoohoo.
- waaaaaahahaawaaaaaaatotally_recalled
- well that fuck you've the internetCarl_Weathers
- (correction)
well thank fuck you've the internetCarl_Weathers - thats your correction?!?totally_recalled
- flavorful0
Hahaha very nice TBO.
Very nice and very true.
- grunttt0
"Does this outfit look good?"
"I'd hit it"
- ninjasavant0
I generally pick an arbitrary opinion and stick to it. Seems to work.
- kult0
I swear to christ this happens to me every single weekend.
- flavorful0
Yea, actually to be honest I take longer than biddies getting ready, haha. It's kind of funny, but at the same time not really I guess.
- biddies. old skoolCarl_Weathers
- please tell me you don't actually sat biddies anywhere outside of the internet7point34
- say not sat7point34
- hahahha I call girls biddies all the time.flavorful
- Certain types of girls I guess. Really cute ones that are younger than me.flavorful
- Then its reserved for the best kind of ladies.JackRyan