girlfriends
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- CALLES0
and oh yeah... yesterday she picked me up at work to go get her car wish it was at the mechanic... anyway her sense of direction... is not that it is not good... its that it does not exist... picked up the car i tell her to follow me back to the beach... two blocks in she lost me and managed to go in the total wong direction...
- kezza_20
hahahahahaha
Golf clap.
Genius
- thelukeandrews0
6 months ago:
her: dunno what I should wear.
me: I dunno they all look great
.... (3 hours later) ok I just wanna try the first one again....now:
Her: I'm not sure which one to wear..
me: Hmmm.. I like that, but maybe try it with this.. and this..
......(3 minutes later)
her: ok, let's goBOOYAH!!!!! I found the secret!!
- you turned gay?OSFA
- turned? or was alreadyautoflavour
- hahaha!OSFA
- CALLES0
she doesn't drink
Her; last night was amazing... it was a marathon
Me: Yeah i know... great great (did we? what?!? phew)
- roundabout0
Her : I saw you looking at her tits?
Me : I saw you looking at her tits too.- Well played.waterhouse
- Women do that! When a hot chick walks into a store or passes by them, they always check her out... it happens with my wife, girls always check her out...OSFA
- mine, other girls always stare and check herOSFA
- or better yet, they like tits alsoautoflavour
- CALLES0
so what happen now metoni
- cannonball0
her: I'd totally fuck Christian Bale. He's on the safe list for cheating with celebrities.
me: Ok, I get Famke Janssen then.~ two weeks later we both walk by Famke Janssen randomly ~
her: *grabs my arm and holds on tight, pressing cheek to shoulder*
- I'd do both.Jaline
- And ...rson
- at the same time?locustsloth
- you would do christian bale and Famke Janssen JALINE?!?!?!?CALLES
- haha... like you had a chance anyway (no offence).ETM
- behave!CALLES
- My "And .." was amined at CB?rson
- I like both, yes, CALLES.Jaline
- hahah im sure i had no chance. but it was cute that she was worriedcannonball
- Yeah, that's adorable.
It's always weird to me that you guys can see celebs every where.Jaline - Big city 'ballincannonball
- mmm famke. love her.barbtastic
- I know...Jaline
- chossy0
her : .......
me : I dinae fucking have a girlfriend :'(
- mattiaBK0
Shit! That's funny, and wrong and the same time!
- section_0140
her: I'm making enchiladas for dinner, come over
me: splendid I'll be right over**after dinner
me: can we watch the f1 race I recorded instead of the dvd you want to watch?
her: sure
me: fucking Kimi, pass his him already
her: **initiates blow job
- WeLoveNoise0
Her : I saw you looking at her tits?
Me : did u see em too ?
- FIVE190
10 months ago....
After a long day at I came home kept working.Her: We need to talk
Me: Sure whats up
Her: I want a divorce
Me: Peace!- way to bring down the party!rson
- Divorce is too easy, fucker her. Fake your taxes and make her support your ass.mikotondria3
- GeorgesII0
you haven't seen nothing yet, wait to be married
- babaganush0
Me: Wow she has massive tits
Her: Yeah she does doesn't she!...Got a good one there...
- CALLES0
funy my technique to look another girls... cuz her in miami beach is IMPOSSIBLE not to... i need glasses that i dont even have
so i always ask my girlfriends.."is that girl over there hot" done works perfectly
- Yes this is possibly the most surefire way to go about it.d_rek
- no they dont mind at all you are being honest... she will never catch me trying to hide to check someone outCALLES
- I usually just point out something about her, like "that girls has no shame, you can clearly see panty lines through that skintight dress!" and then we tsk tsk till she is out of sight....epigraph
- her skin tight dress" You are then free to further critiqe the ass...epigraph
- barbtastic0
meltoni- yr trying too hard. stop being so nice. always keep him wanting more. always.
- true. He'll be as much of an 'uncommitted' jerk as you'll let him. Be around less.mikotondria3
- hey, it's Barb! Where have you been?Jaline
- Being a tease?rson
- it's good to miss him, too. xplosions!barbtastic
- you know itCALLES
- being a tease is essential...but remember good puppies always get treatsbarbtastic
- blah blah blahrson
- i don't think i'm trying too hard. i'm just being me.meltoni
- tasty0
after seeing a comedian who asked a male in the audience what his favorite porn website was (it was YouPorn)
her: so what's your favorite porn site?
me: I cannot disclose that information.
her: k, then i'm not disclosing my vagina tonight, night baby!- vagina sexy talk!!.chossy
- bitchflashbender
- you missed out on watching porn with the missus on this one.October
- I would've left that ho.styleplus