girlfriends
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- ylanse0
(after he asked me I need some of his Tik-Taks)
me: srr sweet, my stomach needs FIRST a drink and THEN food
He: great, Now your stomach has also her priorities?!I love it to be awoman with a man like that
- CALLES0
hahahaha!
- bulletfactory0
a friend was telling me an exchange he had with a girl lying in bed after sex - i laugh everytime he tells the story - it went something like this....
her: (whispering) - I hate you. i wish you would leave.
jimi: (gets up, starts putting on clothes)
her: what are you doing?
jimi: well, you said you wanted me to leave so...
her: no i didn't, turn the light out and come back to bed.
jimi: (turns light out and lays back down)
her: (whispering) i really can't stand you, i wish you would get out of my bed. I don't want you around me.
jimi: (gets up, puts on clothes)
her: where are you going?I think he actually left that time.
- um creepy? i think if he laid back down she might have killed himmegE
- what a fucking mental casechossy
- crazy bitches like this are easy to spot from DAY 1. It's a pity that your friend doesn't have better judgement.styleplus
- jaline?OSFA
- i'm 100% sure a lot of powders were involved.bulletfactory
- WhiteFace0
her: does this look alright?
me: Yep, that looks alright.
her: alright, fucking alright, I don't want to look fucking ALRIGHT.
- CALLES0
and oh yeah... yesterday she picked me up at work to go get her car wish it was at the mechanic... anyway her sense of direction... is not that it is not good... its that it does not exist... picked up the car i tell her to follow me back to the beach... two blocks in she lost me and managed to go in the total wong direction...
- CALLES0
keep it going guys! the news ones are hillarious... obviously this is Universal
- paraselene0
oldie but goodie (sorry if already posted, can't be arsed to check)
- chossy0
her : .......
me : I dinae fucking have a girlfriend :'(
- roundabout0
Her : I saw you looking at her tits?
Me : I saw you looking at her tits too.- Well played.waterhouse
- Women do that! When a hot chick walks into a store or passes by them, they always check her out... it happens with my wife, girls always check her out...OSFA
- mine, other girls always stare and check herOSFA
- or better yet, they like tits alsoautoflavour
- thelukeandrews0
6 months ago:
her: dunno what I should wear.
me: I dunno they all look great
.... (3 hours later) ok I just wanna try the first one again....now:
Her: I'm not sure which one to wear..
me: Hmmm.. I like that, but maybe try it with this.. and this..
......(3 minutes later)
her: ok, let's goBOOYAH!!!!! I found the secret!!
- you turned gay?OSFA
- turned? or was alreadyautoflavour
- hahaha!OSFA
- uberdesigner0
her: I feel something missing.
me: I'll get the puncture repair kit.
- scarabin_net0
me: here, try this coffee candy.
her: k! *om nom*
...
her: blech!
me: what, you don't like it?
her: no, it tastes like coffee beans and water!
me: ... uh, that's what coffee is?
- waterhouse0
me: "I can't watch the Bachelor. When people aren't crying on this show, then they're smiling way to wide for me to tolerate it."
her: ...(nothing)
me: "I'll just go into the other room. Fine for me...You can't hear me anyway."
her: "Yes I can."
me: "That's an auto-response... How's your sister's rack?"
her: ...(nothing)
- meltoni0
the dinner on friday was nice. and probably because we were at his place, and he had a bit to drink.... when everybody left he was horny as hell. saturday morning we hang out in some coffeeshop downtown and after two days of rain.... saturday was gorgeous sunny. and as we get in the highway back to denver (he wanted to go look for tablecloth)....
him: it's such a perfect day to drive up to the mountains...
me: sure it is.
him: you know... i say fuck tablecloth. let's go drive up to the mountains. what do you say?
me: i'm down for it.
and we drive over an hour to Loveland pass.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lov…it's summer, it's warm and it has snow.
we sit there just looking that gorgeous scenario and we make out. and holding holding hands all the time.we drive back. over an hour to denver.
he drops me off at the bar (i have to work at night) and he heads back to boulder. we are not seeing each other anymore that day. he's supposed to come over on sunday and stay for the night.it's saturday night.
he doesn't text me goodnight.
he calls.me: ohhh... you're calling. what happened?
him: i think i've got bad news.
me: humm. ok.
him: they just called me in to work tomorrow.
me: serious?
him: yep. but i said fucked who wants to sleep in and only show up at noon. i don't care. i'm going at eight and i'm leaving by four pm... so we still can catch a movie and go out for dinner.
me: and you said you had bad news?
him: i thought you'd be sad if you had made any plans for early afternoon and i couldn't make it. i thought you should know.
me: that's very sweet of you. i really appreciate it.
- see... there's not really any gossip. it's just me, retarded. totally in love with this guy.meltoni
- god this is long. you must be femalescarabin_net
- CALLES0
you are not giving me more gossip
- CALLES0
woah woah woah! what happen now? maybe hhe is just hung... you sure thats not all?
- meltoni0
really?
wanna know more?
because now i'm trapped.
i'm totally in love with the guy!- self-sabotage. Choose emotionally distant, noncommiting guy, become emfatuated, break-up. Repeatmikotondria3
- is what I'd say if this was a film. If this totally doesnt apply to you, I apologise and certainly mean no disrespect.mikotondria3
- digdre0
no gf, no gossip
- CALLES0
meltoni soooooo what happen? keep the gossip coming?
- CALLES0
right now
she calls me
me: so i made reservations at 7:30... is that cool with you?
Her: sure i will be ready
me: ok so i will be in the house like at 6:30
her:perfect..wa..wait... walking to the car let me call you when i'm on the road
[2nd head that grew this morning explodes]- you should get some clearasil for those exploding headscannonball
- it was just funny... let me call you when i'm driving and supposed to be concentratingCALLES
- hahaha...womenOSFA