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  • MrT1

    In the last couple of days since I posted the possum story below, I've started getting email spam such as "Sick of your cat peeing everywhere?"

    Coincidence?

    O_O

  • Gardener7

    the 3 posts that just got me a permanent ban from FB

    first there was this dangerous sex/bomb combo

    I pushed my luck by posting a 50 year old LP cover

    then over the edge and into the social abyss (apart from Twitter)


  • detritus0

    Top Tip: If you run adwords for your own small concern, you can trim a load of the useless cruft (stupid enquiries, useless enquiries, aimless enquires, cheap enquiries, all of the above at once enquiries) by setting a day-time schedule (eg. 8am - 7pm) and reducing the amount you are willing to pay for clicks from mobiles.

    Thinking about it, logically - the absolute last customer type I want are idle evening mobile browsers.

    Conversely, if you have a retail site selling chintzy crap to idiots - dial up the amount you're willing to spend on ads in the evening, to mobile users.

    *grumbles*

    • ...mind you, if you're in the latter camp, you're probably better off just advertising on Facebook. God, I hate the modern internet.detritus
    • Nice tip. Will use.shellie
  • detritus1

    I'm having a worse-than-expected day today.

    I *KNEW* I should've kicked Stewart Lee up the arse when I saw him bent right over, browsing the sausage rolls in Sainsbury's earlier today.

    It was SO tempting.

    • Did he have a MASSIVE backpack on? He did the couple of times I've seen him out and about.Hayzilla
    • No. He was his usual unshaven, slightly blobby, utterly unconcerned self. I figured a sudden kick in the arse in the sausage roll aisle in Sainsbury's mightdetritus
    • ...have warranted a mention in his next series.detritus
  • detritus-3

    I just found what appears to be a baggy of coke and two baggies of what I assume must be e or amphetamine of some sort.

    If only I gave a shit about those sorts of things any more.

    Why couldn't it've been a crisp £50 note or some nice Darjeeling?

    Now all I can do is get some citric acid from home and mix it in, then put it back in the bogs for some other poor cunt to find.

    • It's not like I can put it in the Lost & Found, ffs.detritus
    • prob. there is somebody interested on it in your neighborhood and you can sell it to him, for emmm, 45 pounds?OBBTKN
    • heh, probably, but i'm done selling drugs :)detritus
    • Then don't sell. Trade. Jkbezoar
    • put it away for a special dayinteliboy
    • Stewart Lee's?Hayzilla
    • trade for some darjeeling?mugwart
    • Let me translate — HEY GUYS, I USED TO DO DRUGS BUT NOW I DON'T COS NOW TEA IS WAY COOLER. LOL @SAD DRUGGIES.robthelad
    • Aw, bless you've got me all worked out, haven't you? There are kids around here = no drugs allowed = cutting with citric acid and returning would be fundetritus
    • You smarting because I compared Sunderland to a lifeless comet the other day? haha.detritus
    • Owner found and ticked off, drugs returned. GF likely to be pissed off - her eyes lit up when I told her last night what I'd found... .detritus
    • I haven't seen your post, and Comet closed down years ago ;)robthelad
  • docpoz1

    I'm using the new GMail now with the "android" skin and it's an improvement from the old one but the compose button is still hideously floating omnipresent over the design. whatevssss

  • sarahfailin1

    do we have a thread for random design questions perhaps not worthy of their own thread? a google search says "nay"

  • shellie1

    The new job has me dumb tired but it feels good to be steering the shop again. And watching those hours attack up ain't bad either.

  • docpoz0

    Starting some new productions. Getting actors together for a troupe. Woot!

  • bulletfactory3

    It finally feels like spring in NYC!

    • I spent the day at the NY Botanical Gardens in the Bronx, and it was glorious.monospaced
    • We know. We were following you ;)microkorg
    • it's hot in my apartment now :/ not happynotype
  • mort_0

    I never really made the connection before but do you think it's intentional that the word "intentional" also contains the words "intent" and "ional"?

    • I dunno,
      Are you high?
      hans_glib
    • that's intentsMrT
    • what about HIS-story? You know who's storyHayoth
    • HER-itage.
      my god this is stupid...
      pango
    • and slang is short for short languageset
    • your ional intent is showingGnash
    • They call em fingers but I never seen em fing!Hayzilla
    • What's shlong short for? I mean, mine isn't, *ahem*, but what's it short for?detritus
    • shlongestset
    • ID. "I is short of "I" and "D" is short for "Dentification"DRIFTMONKEY
    • lolset
  • shellie3

    Took a late night walk in New York City tonight. I love when there's no people or cars in the streets downtown. I walked all over chinatown and the lower east side. Threw QBN stickers up along the way. Pics pending.

  • detritus1

    I've just found my old Palm Pilot.. but [obviously] the charge is long-since gone and there's no sign of the dock.

    I'd love to see what very old stuff I have on there still - what my Dope Wars high score was and whatever basic doodles I had.. was there a simple x frame animation program?

    I'll never know.

    Sad :(

    • OH! I'm such an idiot - of course.. it has batteries. hahadetritus
    • BOO. I guess the long duration battery-less wiped the memory.detritus
    • Well, that was quite the journey.detritus
    • Dope wars on Palm? Nicedocpoz
  • docpoz1

    I was in no mood to watch Avengers due to superhero movie exhaustion and even read spoiler reviews with full apathy.

    Last night I saw it and really have to hand it to the Russos. This is the greatest pop culture epic since The Empire Strikes Back.

    Well done.

    • but this other guy didn't asked for your contact....oey
    • What?Who?docpoz
  • pockets5

    got a uber home yesterday and i selected pool... ended up riding with this cute girl who lives about 10min away from me.. ended up talking about how she went and saw the avenger movie alone and how her car is in the shop.. she was playing with her snapchat and i almost asked her for her username to keep in contact but i pussed out.. i bet i would have been seen as a creepier for asking...

    regrets

    • even more creepy i remember where she lives -_-pockets
    • Would not have been creeper to ask. Life is random and you have to live in the moment. Even a casual IG thing is okdocpoz
    • not creepy for asking. creepy would be walking the few blocks to her place and sticking your mail in her box and waiting for her to return them to you.futurefood
    • puss!pango
    • lol@futurepockets
    • what everyone says above! You snooze you loose!mugwart
    • future ftwdocpoz
  • docpoz-13

    I've been trolling Bumble lately and this one profile started trolling me with incest related banter. Safe to say she/he was either into it or trying to shock me...

    Anywhoo, she started giving me ultimatums like you either fuck your parents in a threeway once or you have to let them have sex in front of you for the rest of your life.

    I answered that I'd do the deed once to get outta purgatory. Then, it was my turn up so I dropped:
    "Eitther fuck a family member or have to fuck a willing dog."

    She said the dog, so if she was into the taboos she definitely prefers the pooch.

    She blocked me soon after.

    • Lol nobody wanted to hear that one... :/docpoz
    • In my defense: I pressed the nsfw checkboxdocpoz
    • Everything I hate about social media right therehans_glib
    • That was really enlightening.M01XXX
  • HijoDMaite1

    Serious question. Why is the gay lisp a thing?

    • It is?detritus
    • https://www.youtube.…Gnash
    • good doc. saw it few years back at Hot Docs fest.Gnash
    • It's not a gay lisp, it's a lisp. Almost none of the gays I know have it, while I've known two straights with it.i_monk
    • Then what’s with the talking kinda like teenage girls thing?monospaced
    • because low-poly attention whores need stupid made-up things to feel special?sted
    • What do you mean by "a thing"?notype
    • I’ve noticed among the gay people I know that a significant percentage have adopted a cultural style of speaking, while others have not. It’s a thing I guess.monospaced
    • got an experts opinion on this:
      It's a thing, and it's sexy. But guys grow out of it, as they get older.
      sted
    • being gay is de-individualzing. you lose all your personality traits in order to adopt a template of gay voice and gestures.drgs
    • gay people converge into one organism, like antsdrgs
    • You could say the same thing about straight people and it would be an equally retarded generalisation.set
    • I don’t think anyone is generalizing, just noticing something that is a thing in many cases. Of course straight people have localized dialects too.monospaced
    • I was talking to drgs and his odd comment.set
    • I and monospaced are saying the same thing.
      https://en.wikipedia…
      drgs
    • All I know is... if you spend enough time on qbn, you photoshop set’s face onto something.imbecile
    • Are you guys talking about 'camp minciness'? 'Cos some girls and women do that shit too, and death to all of them.detritus
    • Gay honey badger doesn't care
      https://www.youtube.…
      soundofreason
    • Didn't know we have so many gay expert here. So they...pango
    • Yeah. Maybe that’s it. Some go so far it almost resembles a lisp, but it’s really just an annoying drawn out S sound.monospaced
    • #stayclassyqbnjaylarson
    • Fucking listen to yourselves. All we need is robo to make a trans joke and we have QBN bingo.face_melter
    • ... bc wiki is always a good source of truth. GTFOnotype
    • lol @ face :)fadein11
    • would this still be called 'mansplaining'?Gnash
    • As the only gay in the QBN village (no lisp, not camp) I think it is largely a learned affectation, list most speech patterns and behaviours.i_monk
    • There are also pervasive gay stereotypes that are fiercely (in both senses) defended by gays who embody them, to the point that gays who do not are likely to bei_monk
    • called straight-acting, self-hating, or some other insult for failure to conform.i_monk
    • Conforming by not confirming in the same way. Funny.pango
    • *confirmingpango
    • Damn it * conformingpango
    • I’ve only known 1 gay man with a lisp in my 40 yrs and i consider myself “in community”, don’t believe the hype. I’ve known a few (very) straight dudes with anotype
    • lisp (likely just called a speech impediment for them)notype
  • notype2

    Is funding humanity (humans?) going to space a philanthropic endeavor?

    Is this a dumb questine?

  • detritus1

    From a client's email:

    "we need it to be small enough to fit in a selfie screen".

    *stares into abyss, tries not to fall in*

    • mobile friendly html?drgs
    • Acrylic signage to go in front of something incredibly girly.detritus
  • set5

    I think fans are the some of the lamest humans alive. Fans. What is a fan? Someone who has no skill themselves so must pretend they have something in their lives by being a fan of someone else more talented and interesting than them.

    Football fans are obviously the worst example. People that get upset and angry that a bunch of men that they've never met, lose at a game that kids play in the school playground.

    There's a guy in the office who is a die hard rock and roll fan. I'm all for enjoying music but this guy thinks he's an authority on music simply because he's listened to lots of it and knows all about the musicians, the years that songs came out etc. It's fucking hilarious, All of that is nothing. He can't play an instrument or sing a single note in tune, haha. He has nothing but convinces himself he is some kind of rock authority.

    lol.

    Fucking fans.

    • haha, I think about this oftenmonospaced
    • He’s ready for jeopardyimbecile
    • I kind of agree. 60yo football fans in full kit are a bit embarrassing. That said, obsessives and fanatics are often the people who keep their specialistFax_Benson
    • subjects alive - the kind of people who set up museums and give tours and create archives. Interesting people. who aren't put off by lack of talent and cynicsFax_Benson
    • It’s ok bro. Even if daddy never took you to a game. I’m sure he still loved you. :-(HijoDMaite
    • Never been a sport fan but I can see why some people need it in their life. Just like some people need Jesus.microkorg
    • I hear you. Herd mentality. Its okay to love something deeply but when you loose your own identity to it.mugwart
    • Oh - I wonder who you're talking about.. :)RumperChunk
    • You work with set, rumperchunk?detritus
    • Mugwart is your biggest fan though :)fadein11
    • hahaha - Set does rock! #setforpopemugwart
    • He does indeedfadein11
    • I think it's about a need to belong to something. Some people have more needs than other.Chimp
    • I’m a set fan.Ramanisky2
    • I am a fan of set.soundofreason
    • People you never met? The soccer club of your hometown you grew up wearing their shirts, watching their matches live in the stadium.. this is no anon, set.mekk
    • Maybe you did not experience the feeling of membership? Don't you have something you like that you just feel happy when they achieve something?mekk
    • And people who collect stamps...fuck those guys amirite!yuekit
    • We have reached peak QBN.face_melter
    • ^ i think things have changed. A football fan told me when he was a kid it was about community, sticking with the lows and enjoying the highs.mugwart
    • its involved into a cooperate mindset, of winning/ popularity. I grew up at the end of these old days and watched it changed. for me it was always shit!mugwart
    • a form of male bonding/latent homosexualitydrgs
    • im a fan of a good german biscuitkingsteven
    • Hahaha rumperchunk. I forget there's one man here that knows what I talk of when I talk of 'the office'.set
    • I think you make a good point fax. I guess there's a rather nebulous difference between a scholar and a fan.set
    • Mekk, of course there is lots that I like and I have been a member of clubs and bands and enjoy and study all sorts, but I think that's different.set
    • There's also beauty in following a local football team with your family and enjoying it, but I still think that's a completely different thing.set
    • I also suffer from this :D your infatuation isn't exclusive that's all :)sted
    • Are you saying the you're sick of being QBN poster boy?robotron3k
    • I do over generalise which naturally puts people's backs up, I know.set
    • Wow. Guys has an opinion and you flip out.Hayoth
    • I love the guy it just triggered a rant. Knowing rock and roll and knowing about rock and roll are worlds apart.set
    • Speaking in general though, having to deal with hoards of Brighton football fans at the weekendsset
    • Am. Football fan here. It's a hobby. I love watching games, the suspense, the drama, all of it. It's great fun.mathinc
    • And find rather amusing the mental image of a man absolutely mad about football that doesn't actually know what to do if you throw him a footballset
    • agreedGuyFawkes
    • Reminds me of some apple fan boipinkfloyd
    • Oh, you're talking about soccer. I agree about American football fans, they are annoying as hell.Maaku
    • If you play any sport it's hard not to appreciate what professionals do. Throw in the suspense and drama of it like mathinc said and sprinkle in some hometown_niko
    • or national pride, plus a few betting dollars and you have a recipe for something spectacularly fun and engaging._niko
    • Man, some of you have become cynical, old, judgemental, hypocritical cunts! lolETM
    • I mean, you were all more cool when you were cynical, young, judgemental, hypocritical cunts!ETM
    • Some of you are obviously mistaking simply enjoying something for being the type of fan I'm talking about. No one is saying you can't enjoy things, hahset
    • I think the whole "fans = unintelligence" is a bit short-sighted, and painting in broad strokes is never a good look.garbage
    • I used to play basketball so I love watching the game. Also a huge Hawks fan, but I will concede that a huge portion of our fanbase are an embarrassment.garbage
    • Didn't expect front page
      I don't even really agree anymore
      I stand by it though
      set
    • Exhibit A: https://i.imgur.com/…garbage
    • Very convenient that they put their own dipshittery on blast, makes them easy to avoid.garbage
    • I once exited the Metro in Newcastle, high on acid, right when tens of thousands of Toon fans were leaving the stadium, swarming us. Absolute Hell.detritus
    • fans like to blow air, man. fuck em.docpoz
    • yes, this place makes you toxic, negative, cynical, argumentive, etc....just come here less and you'll be better offpinkfloyd
    • I agree set, I don't get it. I'll occasionally watch sports but I wouldn't call myself a fan. Worse, if I'm wearing a cap some dude always says...kona
    • "... hey man, how do you think so-and-so is going to be this year?" and I have to reply "I have no idea who you're talking about, I just love the logo."kona
    • lol niceset
    • what's worse? being a fan of a sports team or being a smug twat over something so simple as a logo? lol @ 'daddy never took you to a game' XDPonyBoy
    • I like to think there's a distinction between a fan, and some die-hard fanboi weirdo. In my equation, being a fan is absolutely OK. I count myself a fan of ...Continuity
    • ... lots of different things: Star Trek, Front Line Assembly, FC Bayern, Metallica, etc, but I don't have merch, scarves, t-shirts, caps, I don't follow ...Continuity
    • ... anything religiously, or make it the end-all and be-all of my life. But when a new ST series or film comes out, I watch it. When a new FLA or Met album ...Continuity
    • ... comes out, I listen to it (and sometimes dislike what I hear), I watch FCB's matches sometimes, especially the Champion's League. But none of these ...Continuity
    • ... things *are* my life. I still consider myself a fan, though.Continuity
    • @ Continuity... whaaat? You don't have a Metallica scarf? Dude...ETM
    • I know, right?Continuity
    • cracked up when i read Kona's post...
      i was at a home depot the other day, wearing a 'bucaneers' shirt..
      exador1
    • guy behind the counter goes bananas.. yo man...over here, I'll help ya!...yo duuuude!!!! bucks!!!! yo man!....exador1
    • so he's sooo excited, and he says 'nice to see a bucks fan bro'... and i'm ...what?exador1
    • he's surprised, ..bucks...bucks?...b... know...your shirt????exador1
    • sorry man.
      we were on a family trip, and i saw some shirts, and tried this one on, and my daughter said she liked the pirate guy, so i bought it...
      exador1
    • i liked the logo as well...so....yeah...
      uh...so....it's sports team...eh?
      exador1
    • lol@exador. My favorite logo of all time, the old Brewers glove... I'll wear a cap out and get some die-hard brewers fan in Chicago flip out the same way. hahakona
    • "yeah. yeah, it's a sports team...."
      ugh...poor guy...he looked SO let down at that point...
      exador1
    • but i honestly laughed all the way to the car after... he was SO happy to see someone that was 'into' his team, etc...exador1
    • and i honestly don't know a fucking thing about sports...exador1
    • now...on the other hand...talk to me about Pink Floyd, or sci-fi, or mid-80's metal, or Terry Pratchett books, or stuff like that, ill talk your fucking ear offexador1
    • all depends on what you're 'into' i suppose...exador1
    • +1 for the brewers logo. don't care about the sportsball, but it's a dope mark! surprised they'd ever want to use the newer one(s)...jaylarson
    • You can be a fan someone who excels at the very thing you yourself excel at or hope to one day. Can’t hate every fan.BrokenHD
    • Fandom brings humans joy. Who are you to hate on fans anyway lol. I’m a fan of early mad magazine for example, what that make me?BrokenHD
    • A cunt? Obviously I'm over generalising and talking about super fans... Obviously.set
    • You know that rock n roll cliché where they turn the lights on the crowd? found ourselves playing with 90s indie bands recently and fuck me... this guy x 2000kingsteven
    • it's real, too real. watching the interaction between fans and band members, fans listing off set lists to guys that require set lists.kingsteven
    • every office has one, and they're all there... superfans are something else tho... was having a smoke with Peter Salisbury, who now drums for the Charlatans andkingsteven
    • admittedly i'm a fan of because of his work with the verve. so a bit starstruck but chatting away and this lad walks over and starts chatting about tomorrowskingsteven
    • show and all these technical details and i just assume he's crew. peter being the nicest dude ever turns to me 'yeah, WE were here', 'WE were there'...kingsteven
    • bumped in to the same lad after the show outside and asked him something technical "oh, i'm not crew, just a fan"... mind blown.kingsteven
    • I think it’s funny how fans are more loyal to a team and city than the actual players on the team, especially in US sports, where $ rules.monospaced
    • *sometimesmonospaced
    • Fan = idolatry / worship. Agree with you. I'm a fan of 1 thing though.notype