The Midlife crisis thread?

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  • Bennn

    The NBQ comment in the Blog thread made me think that maybe he's having a midlife crisis. I think this deserve it's own thread.
    We're all about the same age in here, i guess.

    I think I have some sort of midlife crisis too. I dont have kids, me and my gf dont plan to have any, we have a lot of time on our hands, but we dont have big projects to come.
    I use to love making illustrations, designing posters and stuff.. but I'm not into it since a few years now, I force myself to make some illustrations, but I dont have that much fun doing it. Photography is my biggest hobby/passion lately, but even that is fading a bit. I lack motivation, all i do is spending time on the web, could the computer and internet have something to do with that lack of motivation and laziness?

    Lately I try to think of what I could do with all my free time, I'd like to develop a talent and/or knowledge on different topics, but I cant figure out what and can't find the motivation to really do something.

    Any thoughts? What about you?
    Just starting a discussion here

  • zaq0

    Travel. Go tho the mountains where there is no phone reception. Spend at least 2 weeks disconnected from civilization. When you are back you will have things figure out.

    • me and my gf are spending lots of time in nature, almost every weekend, thats our common passion, being in the natureBennn

    clearly your next step is to find yo'self a nice mistress

    • Perhaps an strictly emotional affair to "shake shit up"?

      : )
    • No. Strictly physical.CyBrainX
  • Bennn3

    Sometime, i would like to quit my job, sell my house and go hike the PCT for months to find myself.

  • ideaist1

    Go on a trip; physical, mental OR both and get some fresh perspective on things.

    "Midlife crisis" to me means uninspired, trapped, etc. and the above will remedy that or at least refresh your thoughts on life, love, mortality and the like.

    Godspeed Bennn.

  • maquito3

    I think I'm not suffering any crisis. I'm 37, too "young" yet, maybe? I enjoy life very much, I don't stress myself too much. My golden rule is just to enjoy life's little things while doing the right things. Fuck stress, fuck standards and have many friends.

  • maquito1

    I also believe thinking too much may be very self-defeating. There's no such thing as a good excess. Anything in excess is risky. Think less, do more, enjoy, have friends, have kids, let them grow and take care of you.

    • This is something I need to tell myself every day.ayport
    • I think a lot yeahBennn
  • monospaced0

    Learn an instrument.

  • robotron3k0

    I'm not having a midlife crises, just having trouble deciding if I'm going to get this

    Or this

    • Good god... The AF for sure! You can crash the NC750 straight into the bin!necromation
    • I'm just fuckin'... If course the AF! what to you think of the shiftless shit???robotron3k
    • Top one. That Honda looks horrendous.zarkonite
    • apparently on the AF it's the dogs! I have two mates that swear by it on their AF, Off road they love it. I tried my neighbours auto NC750, That i didn't likenecromation
    • Or? https://cdn1.polarisā€¦robotron3k
    • I need to go the New Jersey to try out this Indian, but 1208cc on sub 500lb body looks interesting...robotron3k
  • necromation2

    SHIT... I'm 45 this year and i just each day, each week, each year as an extension of my story.

    I have daugther, me and her are not together but we get on really really well, my girlfriend is awesome - together over 10 years now.
    Work is great, and i'm crazy fucking motorbike rider and owner and i've had my issues - Brain surgery, getting asthma at 40 and also discovering i had HP... So i fucking got my shit together and I don't think i've l ever looked this good ever... Got a therapist, dealing with Anxiety which i've had for fucking donkeys it seems... But i'm just getting started!

    Look up once in a while... Cause when death turns up sometimes you realise that death isn't the one your racing to meet.

    • Good to hear you take action, congrats on that!Bennn
  • imbecile0

    to have a crisis is to admit your life is half over.

  • NBQ000

    Hmm, not sure if it's midlife crisis just yet. I'm 35. But who knows maybe it doesn't have to be age related always.

    Thinking too much and overthinking things can lead to unhappiness.

    Today I went for a hike in the mountains. It was really nice, almost no people on the trails. Then to the beach without my phone. Just enjoying the moment. It was a great day.

    Hope you Bennn will find your next passion. Cheers

  • yuekit0

    Travel and getting out of your element is good, but everyone needs a long term goal for their life don't they?

    Humans are pretty simple-minded at the end of the day. I find that when I have some vision for the future I can look forward to -- even if realistically I'll only achieve half of it -- I'm pretty happy. If you can't imagine one, it's natural to feel lost and depressed.

    • agree, but sometimes you get caught up in your routine. Your version of the future can be misleading. I recommend to disconnect for at least 2 weeks and tryzaq
    • exactlyBennn
    • to establish what or who is really important in your life.zaq
  • zaq2

    This is how I dealt with my midlife crisis.

    I planned a trip to Cordillera Huayhuash in Peru with a friend. It was more like an expedition. We hired local guide, a cook, 2 donkey riders, 6 donkeys & 2 horses. At one point we reached 5 km ( 1600 ft ). So it was not an easy trek.

    Being away from home and family, disconnected from the internet, surrounded by spectacular nature helped me to slow down, take a look at myself and re-evaluate what's import in my life.

    After my return I was a different person.ā€¦

    • Looks amazing!- What a cool trip that must've been. How long was the trek? 2 weeks?BH26
    • 10 days + 3 days of altitude adjustmentzaq
    • I can share the contacts. They were amazing peoplezaq
    • 16,000 ftfooler
    • correct. 16,404 ft to be precisezaq
    • Whoa... damn that looks amazing.mg33
    • sounds excellent. need to be an experienced hiker? or just semi-fit?inteliboy
    • semi-fit. It was not expensive toozaq
  • uan0

    what about Nietzsche's 'the Camel, Lion and Child progression'
    from Thus Spoke Zarathustra
    around 10:00

    also the rest of the Philosophize This podcast has light and inspiration on that matter:

  • rattail10

    I have seriously thought of starting this thread a few times!
    I'm in my 40's, Married for 10+ years, 2 kids, a house and a dog. I have an attractive fit wife that has a great job and lots of friends... the perfect life but I'm still miserable. I feel like packing up, leaving everything behind and move to a remote island.
    I've almost done it a few times but I can't stand the thought of my kids growing up in a broken home as I did.
    I've been at the same job for 6 years and do not find it fulfilling at all but I'm afraid to quit or go freelance and leave a steady paycheck and benefits. Just yesterday my wife told me she'd support the family if I quit and became mr. mom. Things would be tight but we ran the numbers and we could do it.
    I'm not sure if that would make me any happier because my home life isn't that great either. I've thought of therapy but I had a real bad experience with one when I was a kid after my parents split.
    Maybe we should start a Free Therapy thread now.

    • Your wife sounds willing to help you through this, which is not always a given. Also, leave that bad therapy experience in the past, feeling the need for itspl33nidoru
    • is a good reason to try again, if only for a session or two to see how you feel about it. Try to go for a different gender than the 1st timespl33nidoru
    • do it! mix it up. you're not in a prison - you're free to walk out the door whenever you want.sarahfailin
    • I have a friend who was one of4 brothers in a fam. The day after the youngest graduated from HS his dad packed up and disappeared. He's still haunted by that.robotron3k
    • Sounds strange that you would be willing to leave your wife if everything seems fine on that end. Sounds like her and kids are what will keep you grounded.ArmandoEstrada
    • Maybe you need a passion or some projects to work on?Bennn
    • Find a therapist that you like. My guy, Ken, I trust him with everything. First counselor, not at all. Ken, yes.misterhow
    • you need an allotment, grow some veg, husband some chickens, sense the seasons, tune yourself to nature.shapesalad
    • Mr. Mom does sound like a cool titleMaaku
    • but don't turn it into a competition to grow the biggest leek, just spend some time being still, feel the rotation of the earth, the slow pace of plants growingshapesalad
    • envelop in a sense of loneliness, and allow yourself to be equal to nature. do that for 30 mins per day. return to wife and kids, you'll really appreciate themshapesalad
    • How old are your kids? If they're young, it would be amazing to just take time off from work and bring them to museums and on field trips all the time.freedom
    • Do more fun kids stuff. Get to know your kids.freedom
    • Have you talked to your wife about any of this?monospaced
    • If I were you, I'd find a good therapist, try out being Mr. Mom, and start some crazy creative projects with the fam.e-wo
    • I don't post much on QBN but have been going thru similar circumstances. Figured the root was a lack of good mates to spend down time with... have you got that?Beardy
    • Interestingly enough, I think the longest study was done on what makes men happy. Things you describe is not really what makes us happy. It was our work orBoz
    • that we feel we make a difference with something we love doing. Relationships were important but being happy with our work was the main conclusionBoz
    • So I think you need to find that again. A good wife as a partner and kids will then just make it all even more worthy but meaningful work is a primary thingBoz
    • for men's long term happiness.Boz
    • it will pass, life will pass too, far too quickly, even if sometimes it's a drag... but seriously you need something bad, it will heal yourzu-rzu
    • To be clear I meant "leave your job" not your family xDsarahfailin
    • Do both. Go freelance, but first take a solo trip to Nepal and go trekking for a month.Projectile
  • freedom1

    Take art classes or workshops. Buy a new camera, go browse an art supplies store.

    Community college classes are cheap and filled with bored seniors. Find a community of people also in a rut.

    • do the opposite! don't surround yourself with similar people!shapesalad
    • Buying cameras and checking websites about camera has been an obsession in the last 2 years, i feel it was an inconscient way of keepin my brain activatedBennn
    • ^ true. But it's helpful to realize when you realize you're not alone.freedom
    • I have a new camera, again, since a month. I will try to slow down on the GASBennn
  • freedom2

    Are you ok financially?

    If so, find a place like a community theater or school that needs posters and illustrations for promotional things and volunteer your services.

    Sometimes doing something for free even if you don't need the money is a bummer but sometimes if they give you a printing budget and free rein, that could be a ton of fun.

    • yeah, that could be a good idea. offering my services for non lucrative organizations. thanks for the idea! Def taking this in noteBennn
    • Draplin is a good example of this.DRIFTMONKEY
  • freedom1

    Go to a book store and read art book and find more inspiration.

  • Bennn3

    I think I have found a little project. I want to grow moss and lichen in a terrarium. Just watched a few videos on YT. It motivate me. I also want to try to grow a small tree inside the house and make a bonsai or something out of it.

    there's hope!

    • few weeks and you're going to get bored again. grow peyote have real fun :Dsted
    • You should get a 3D printer and 'grow' yourself a dildo, then gfy with it.
      Live long, Expand your something.
    • Nairm, your mom just called, you need to go home for dinner.Bennn
    • lol @ nairnmonospaced
  • freedom1

    I also find watching videos of artists interviews and watching them work to be inspirational.

    But the best thing you can do is force yourself to move around and not sit at your computer.

    Even having a little studio can be motivation to get stuff done.