The Midlife crisis thread?
Out of context: Reply #15
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- rattail10
I have seriously thought of starting this thread a few times!
I'm in my 40's, Married for 10+ years, 2 kids, a house and a dog. I have an attractive fit wife that has a great job and lots of friends... the perfect life but I'm still miserable. I feel like packing up, leaving everything behind and move to a remote island.
I've almost done it a few times but I can't stand the thought of my kids growing up in a broken home as I did.
I've been at the same job for 6 years and do not find it fulfilling at all but I'm afraid to quit or go freelance and leave a steady paycheck and benefits. Just yesterday my wife told me she'd support the family if I quit and became mr. mom. Things would be tight but we ran the numbers and we could do it.
I'm not sure if that would make me any happier because my home life isn't that great either. I've thought of therapy but I had a real bad experience with one when I was a kid after my parents split.
Maybe we should start a Free Therapy thread now.- Your wife sounds willing to help you through this, which is not always a given. Also, leave that bad therapy experience in the past, feeling the need for itspl33nidoru
- is a good reason to try again, if only for a session or two to see how you feel about it. Try to go for a different gender than the 1st timespl33nidoru
- do it! mix it up. you're not in a prison - you're free to walk out the door whenever you want.sarahfailin
- I have a friend who was one of4 brothers in a fam. The day after the youngest graduated from HS his dad packed up and disappeared. He's still haunted by that.robotron3k
- Sounds strange that you would be willing to leave your wife if everything seems fine on that end. Sounds like her and kids are what will keep you grounded.ArmandoEstrada
- Maybe you need a passion or some projects to work on?Bennn
- Find a therapist that you like. My guy, Ken, I trust him with everything. First counselor, not at all. Ken, yes.misterhow
- you need an allotment, grow some veg, husband some chickens, sense the seasons, tune yourself to nature.shapesalad
- Mr. Mom does sound like a cool titleMaaku
- but don't turn it into a competition to grow the biggest leek, just spend some time being still, feel the rotation of the earth, the slow pace of plants growingshapesalad
- envelop in a sense of loneliness, and allow yourself to be equal to nature. do that for 30 mins per day. return to wife and kids, you'll really appreciate themshapesalad
- How old are your kids? If they're young, it would be amazing to just take time off from work and bring them to museums and on field trips all the time.freedom
- Do more fun kids stuff. Get to know your kids.freedom
- Have you talked to your wife about any of this?monospaced
- If I were you, I'd find a good therapist, try out being Mr. Mom, and start some crazy creative projects with the fam.e-wo
- I don't post much on QBN but have been going thru similar circumstances. Figured the root was a lack of good mates to spend down time with... have you got that?Beardy
- Interestingly enough, I think the longest study was done on what makes men happy. Things you describe is not really what makes us happy. It was our work orBoz
- that we feel we make a difference with something we love doing. Relationships were important but being happy with our work was the main conclusionBoz
- So I think you need to find that again. A good wife as a partner and kids will then just make it all even more worthy but meaningful work is a primary thingBoz
- for men's long term happiness.Boz
- it will pass, life will pass too, far too quickly, even if sometimes it's a drag... but seriously you need something bad, it will heal yourzu-rzu
- To be clear I meant "leave your job" not your family xDsarahfailin
- Do both. Go freelance, but first take a solo trip to Nepal and go trekking for a month.Projectile